What You Fear The Most
by Grissom1
Summary: Grissom and Sara as well as the team have to come to terms with what they fear the most...thriller, romance, angst, of course...GSR always...it is suspenseful so...yeah...grip your seats, pop the popcorn...
1. Chapter 1

**What You Fear The Most**

"What do you fear?" whispered Conner as he pointed the gun at Grissom.

"Put down the gun," warned Grissom.

"What do you fear?" repeated Conner.

"I don't fear you," replied Grissom as he heard the back door of the house creak open.

"Really?" asked Conner. "You should."

"Put down the gun," repeated Grissom.

"On the count of three, I'm going to shoot you," said Conner.

"I'll drop you before you can pull the trigger," replied Grissom.

"What do you fear?" asked Conner.

_That the person who is behind me might be Sara…._

Conner grinned. "I know what you fear now."

"I doubt that," said Grissom.

"You fear getting the others hurt…of course…you entered before anyone else," snickered Conner.

"The police are just outside," said Grissom.

"But I'm in front of you," said Conner. "With my gun pointed at her."

Grissom felt his blood run cold.

"You must need glasses," said Grissom. "Clearly I'm not a female."

Conner smiled. "Surely you didn't expect her to listen to your instructions."

Grissom said nothing.

"Going to come out? I smell your hair all the way over here," said Conner.

Catherine stepped out into the open.

Grissom did not even have to look back to know that it was Catherine.

Relief washed over him.

"Expecting someone else?" asked Conner.

"Let's just finish this," said Grissom.

"I guess you won't mind if I shoot her," said Conner.

"Conner, drop the weapon," warned Grissom.

"Come, come Dr. Grissom. Did you think you could catch me this easily?" laughed Conner.

Grissom was surprised when he called him by name. He glanced briefly at the floor and swallowed. He saw the trip line just inches from Conner's foot.

"I shouldn't have to point out such trivial things as a trip line," sighed Conner.

"Catherine, get out of the house," warned Grissom.

"Clear the scene!" yelled Catherine as she backed away.

"Just you and me," smiled Conner.

Grissom caught sight of Sara behind Conner.

His blood turned to ice.

Conner caught the fear in his eyes.

"Oh, you do fear something," he grinned.

"Yes, I do," admitted Grissom as he stared into Sara's eyes. "I'm afraid you're out of time."

Gun fire exploded.

Conner still stood there with gun in his hand. He glanced down at his crimson red shirt.

"She's a good shot," he said. "You wouldn't risk a shot…afraid you might hit her. Shame…I didn't get to meet her."

Grissom watched as Conner stepped into the trip line.

Grissom kicked Conner's gun that had fallen to the floor. Conner now knelt there watching the blood ooze from his chest.

Sara quickly joined Grissom.

"You think just because we didn't go boom, the trip line was cut," laughed Conner. "Say goodbye Dr. Grissom."

Grissom glanced over at the table and saw the small device ticking down. Grissom grabbed Sara's hand but she had reached for Conner.

They grabbed Conner and ran out of the house.

"It's going to blow!" yelled Grissom.

They had just cleared the front porch when the house exploded. They crashed to the hard ground and Sara felt Grissom's body cover hers as debris was strewn everywhere. Grissom raised his head but ducked back down when a smaller explosion shook the ground.

They felt hands on their bodies and were pulled further away.

Once they were clear of falling debris and the fire that engulfed the remainder of the house, she took in a deep breath trying to shake off the fear.

Her eyes sought Grissom.

_Grissom is fine…_

_He didn't get hurt…_

"Everybody got out?" yelled Brass. He seemed relieved when everyone was accounted for. He stood there watching the two CSI.

Paramedics worked on Conner as Grissom and Sara stood there staring at his lifeless body. Grissom had started to leave the man but Sara had reached down and grabbed his arm. He had done the same knowing there was no time to argue. He'd hope they would still be able to make it out even though they were risking their lives to save a man who would end up on death row.

That is, if he even survived the shooting. By the looks of the wounds, it did not look good. Grissom eyed Sara as she watched Conner.

"First shot?" Grissom asked.

She knew where the line of questioning was going to lead. Her nerves were tightly wound as he led her to the Denali.

Once there he handed her a bottle of water and she took it.

"Are you…"

"Two shots…I fired two shots," she said.

He'd not been able to fire a single shot.

Sara felt Brass withdrawing her weapon.

"Just procedure," Brass said softly. "I'll get this back to you."

Grissom handed his gun to Brass.

They watched from a distance as the medics loaded Conner into the ambulance.

_What do you fear?_

_What do you fear?_

_What do you fear?_

She felt as if her head was going to explode and wondered if Grissom felt the same.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Grissom whispered.

_What do you fear?_

The serial killer had taunted his victims with this question. He'd managed to kill fourteen victims before they were able to locate him. It had been Grissom who solved the case. He'd become almost obsessed with it spending countless hours at the lab. She'd done the same. There'd been hours on hours of discussions in the break room about fear.

Neither had admitted their fear while others had rambled on and on. There was much to fear in life but for Sara and Grissom their fear was unspoken.

It haunted them every day.

Grissom eyed Sara as she sat there sipping on the water.

She looked shell shocked, much like she did the day of the lab explosion. He'd wanted to hold her that day but there were too many roving eyes. Now, he stood there glancing around almost giving in to the urge to take her into his arms. She needed comforting.

_What do you fear?_

She leaned back against the Denali trying to stave off the nausea and pounding in her head.

"Breathe in deeply," he said softly.

She did.

She took in his scent. He was just mere inches from her. She could feel his body heat. It was somewhat comforting but then he moved away and she felt a cold rush wash over her. She opened her eyes and saw Ecklie talking with Grissom.

"Was it a clean shot?" Ecklie asked.

"Yes," replied Grissom.

"Your team needs to pack up and leave. This is now Swing shift's case. I don't want any of your people near the remainder of this case," ordered Ecklie.

She let her head rest against the vehicle. The blast had practically blown them off the front steps of the house. A few more seconds and they could have been seriously injured rather than nursing a few bruises along with some scratches and abrasions.

A hand reached out and touched her forehead and she jerked away.

Her eyes shot open and found Grissom standing there in front of her.

"We should get you checked out," he whispered.

"I'm fine," she lied.

She felt like shit.

It had been too close.

They both knew it and yet neither said anything.

Sara was relieved to get back to the lab. Her head continued to throb and she wondered if it was because of the adrenaline rush that had now ceased or the blast. If she closed her eyes she could see Conner's cold eyes glaring at her when she insisted on dragging his worthless body out of the house. If she sat still, she could still feel the explosion and she was sure it would be days before the smell of sulfur dissipated.

As soon as she entered the lab she disappeared into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. There was a gash across her forehead along with a dark bruise. The explosion had been forceful. Once their bodies had landed on the ground, Grissom had protected her from flying debris. She washed her face and stopped to stare at her trembling hands. She closed her hands into fists and yet they still trembled.

It had been close…too close.

Neither had accepted any medical care.

They were fine and yet both felt off balance.

She spent the next several hours filling out paperwork on the shooting as well as a verbal accounting. Greg had slipped her a sandwich and drink which she was thankful since she'd lost count of her last meal. He never said anything when he noticed the slight tremble. It had taken him months to get over the lab explosion. He joked with her as he told himself there would be time to offer advice on overcoming the trembles. For the moment, she was still in emergency mode which he understood. He'd done the same for weeks as a way of coping.

She stood there now in his doorway like she had done so many times. She had intended to slip out the door once the paperwork was completed but she needed to see him. He had seemed as rattled as she but knew he would never admit it.

She stood there quietly and observed him.

He was such a sweet addiction. She could not imagine going through a single day without seeing him.

She swallowed as she admitted that she could have lost him on this shift.

"Hard shift," she whispered.

Grissom glanced up from his own paperwork.

"Come in and shut the door," he said in a low voice.

She complied not sure to make out the tone in his voice.

Once the door was shut, she leaned against it.

"Catherine yelled to clear the house," he said.

"Yes, but I was already strategically behind Conner. I dropped him before you could even pull the trigger."

_I never would have let him harm you for the same reason I couldn't leave you…_

"You violated protocol," he said. "I'm giving you a written warning."

She looked shocked and wounded. "I couldn't leave you…not when…"

"You violated a direct order from me," he said.

"No, I didn't. I just didn't listen to Catherine," she clarified trying not to let her emotions slip through.

"I told Catherine to…"

"You told her to get out of the house…she yelled clear the scene," replied Sara.

"It meant you too!" he yelled.

"I had a clear shot. I took it," she said defensively.

"Verbal warning this time," he said.

"Fine!" she seethed as she hurried out of the door.

"Sara?"

She halted but did not turn to face him.

"I didn't want you to get hurt," he said trying to smooth things over.

"Ditto!" she yelled as she flew down the hall.

He sighed.

Brass tapped on his door as he leaned back.

"Some shift," muttered Brass.

Grissom nodded.

Brass shut the door and sat down in the chair.

"How is Sara?" asked Brass.

"She just went home," said Grissom.

"First shooting…she uhm looked a little shaken up afterwards," explained Brass.

For the first time Grissom had felt shaken.

He'd let his fear get the better of him.

Jim sighed when his phone went off.

"Brass," he announced.

He glanced at Grissom.

"Thanks," whispered Brass.

"Conner is in critical condition. They're not sure he's going to make it. Sara got off two rounds…ballistics showed your gun was never fired…good thing…it jammed on the first try."

They stared at one another.

"She probably saved your life," said Brass.

Sara leaned against the counter in the break room as Greg handed her a cup of coffee. She'd slept little trying to avoid the obvious nightmares she was sure to have because of the shooting. It had not helped with the headache which remained with her. If it were not for the lack of sleep, she would be worried about a possible concussion.

Her head shot up when Grissom stepped into the room.

"I've got assignments," Grissom announced.

"So not nice," grumbled Greg.

Nick grabbed his assignment and groaned.

Warrick did the same.

"I guess I get the last one," said Grissom.

Sara glanced at the others.

"You uhm missed me," she called.

"Sorry but you're grounded," announced Grissom.

It didn't help with her mood which had not improved since their last conversation.

"It's department procedure following a shooting," he tried to explain.

"Want to do my paperwork?" asked Nick.

"I've got my own," she muttered.

Grissom took the remaining assignment. They were stopped by Brass.

He glanced in Sara's direction.

"Internal affairs just declared the shooting justified," announced Brass.

"Looks like you're already off the hook," called out Nick.

"Does this mean Sara can go out with me?" asked Greg hopefully.

"Afraid not," announced Brass.

Grissom stared at Brass.

"Conners died an hour ago," Brass said.

Sara refused to look at Grissom as she sipped on the coffee.

Brass glanced at Grissom. "Media is circling like sharks wanting to get an exclusive. It might be best if Sara went home."

"I agree," said Grissom.

She didn't want to go to an empty apartment.

She poured out the coffee and walked past them as she headed to the locker room.

"You think she's okay?" whispered Nick. "I mean Conner was a psycho but…she was willing to pull the bastard from an exploding house in order to save his sorry life."

Grissom worried the same thing.

Sara threw her things into her locker.

She quickly grabbed her jacket and headed out the door.

Brass was waiting on her.

"Hey kiddo, let's have some dinner," he offered.

"Another time," she replied as she continued toward her car.

"You okay?" he called.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked.

"You killed someone…I know how that feels," he said.

"It was justified," she said.

"It still eats at your gut," he stated.

"See you tomorrow…unless the sharks are still circling," she huffed.

"Grissom is just looking out for your best interest," said Brass.

"Right," she called over her shoulder as she fled the lab.

She managed to clean ever inch of her apartment in just three hours. She glanced at the object on the counter. She'd found it when she reorganized her kitchen cabinets. She couldn't even remember when she'd purchased it. She was more prone to sip a beer ever now and then but now beer was just not going to deaden the effects of this shitty day.

Quickly without thinking, she slipped a few ice cubes into a glass and poured herself a drink.

It burned going down but it felt good to feel its immediate effect. She emptied the glass and poured another.

She became lightheaded and inwardly thanked herself for saving the bottle for such a time as this.

She swiped at a tear and cursed out loud.

"Forget it Sara! He's so not worth it!"

The revelation bought her another glass.

She was so very tired from avoiding the pure hell she knew was waiting for her as soon as she tried to sleep.

A few glasses were downed before she managed to pass out on the couch.

"_What do you fear?" came the voice._

_She felt the gun twist in her hand as she pointed it at Grissom._

"_What do you fear?" came the voice again._

_She stood there in horror as she watched Grissom's shirt turn bright red._

"_You fear you will…."_

It was her scream that woke her.

She sat up panting as she tried to calm herself.

There was a bang on her door and she instinctively reached for her gun but an empty holster lay on the table.

She sat there listening and another bang followed.

Normally she would have taken the time to nurse a hangover but the banging was persistent.

She scrambled to her feet and fought off the urge to pay homage to the porcelain God before ripping the head off the person who continued to bang on her door.

She looked through the peep hole and sighed.

_Another shitty day…_

It was Grissom.

Note from author:

I forced myself to finish this story so it could be posted. There should be twenty two chapters....give or take one or two... There are cliffhangers at the end of some chapters...but then if you've reach my stuff before then you know I do that often. Please be patient and read the story in its entirety. GSR always, completely...duh!

Take care


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

Sara opened the door as she wiped the hair from her face.

She was certain she resembled a sheep dog at the moment.

Grissom glanced around as if he were expecting someone with her.

"I thought I heard…"

"Television," she lied.

Grissom surveyed the room.

It was apparent she had been sleeping on the couch.

There was no television in sight and he doubted she even owned one.

The whiskey bottle boldly sat on the counter.

Her glass set on the coffee table.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked.

"Does this visit mean I don't get to work this evening?" she asked.

"That depends," he said coming to stand near the counter.

Sara's eyes widened when she saw his hand on the bottle.

"So I had a few drinks," she said sounding rather angry for the accusation.

"I want you to speak with a PEAP counselor," he said.

She fumed. "The shooting was justified. I've been cleared to return to work…why are you doing this?"

"Sara, you once said you could never take a life…you did…even if it was to protect me. I know that must have been hard for you and…"

"No, it wasn't."

He stared at her.

"I'd do it again. The man had killed fourteen people. He was going to kill you. I fired the shot. You would have done the same."

"Yes, I would have."

"Then why are you punishing me?" she asked.

"I'm not trying to punish you," he replied quietly. "I'm…concerned."

"Yeah well thank you for your…concern but I don't want or need to talk to someone."

"Want to tell me why you had to pass out in order to sleep?" he asked.

"I didn't," she lied again.

"How much did you drink?" he asked.

"Is this going to be another verbal warning?" she asked.

He flinched.

"I'm worried about you," he admitted.

"So you've gone from concerned to worried. Why?" she pressed as she stepped closer.

"It's my job…"

She cursed inwardly and he could tell he had managed to piss her off even more.

"Sara…"

"Can I work tonight or not?" she asked with arms folded.

Brown dark orbs glared at him.

"Yes."

"Do I still have to meet with a…"

"Only if you feel…"

"I don't. I'm fine," she lied.

He left without another word.

She knew something was wrong as soon as she entered the lab.

Ecklie's voice bellowed down the hall.

Grissom followed him in pursuit.

"You really can't believe that…"

"No going out into the field again until this matter is cleared up," seethed Ecklie.

Sara stood there quietly and listened.

Ecklie glanced at her but said nothing.

Grissom's eyes locked with Sara's.

He turned and headed back to his office.

Sara stuck her head inside.

"Is there anything wrong…did he not want me to come in tonight?"

"It's not about…you," said Grissom.

"Oh, well that's a first," she quipped.

She looked at Grissom.

It was obvious he was upset.

"What's wrong?"

"A copy of the CSI exam was found in Greg's desk. He's been accused of cheating."

"No way! I studied with Greg. He knew that stuff blindfolded."

"He's being confined to the lab until a determination can be made."

"Greg made one of the highest scores on the written exam," said Sara.

Their eyes locked.

"So they think that just because he did so well, he cheated? They don't know Greg! You do! You know he would never do anything like this."

Grissom did not say anything.

Sara stepped into the room and shut the door.

It startled Grissom.

"If you don't back Greg it will crush him. He worships you! It's further proof he would never risk cheating. He always wants to impress you. You can't…"

"I believe Greg passed the exam because he's a good CSI. We'll just have to clear this up."

She breathed out a long sigh.

"He's very lucky to have you looking out for him," said Grissom.

Sara started to leave when he called out to her.

"Hey Sara?"

She turned and looked at him.

"This is going to put us shorthanded," he said. "Are you up to going out in the field?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't," she replied.

She tried to comfort Greg as he threw his things down in the locker room.

"All my life I've felt like I had to prove myself….the geek that had to excel in this or that…I'm good at my job," he declared.

"The best," said Sara.

"Then why do I feel like a failure?" he asked.

"Everyone has a….fear…of failure sometime or other in their life," she whispered.

"Good was never enough. I had to be the best…I was never the athlete or the hottest guy…but I was the smart geek."

Sara rubbed her shoulder against his. "You've always been hot to me."

"Any other time I would jump on that offer…jump on you but…does Grissom think I did it?" he asked.

"He believes in you," she said with a smile. "We all do."

"I guess I'll be working side by side with Hodges," sighed Greg.

"Now there's a geek…and he's not even cute," chided Sara.

"I'm hot?" he asked leaning in to her.

"You're my Romeo," she purred.

He grinned. "Pity attention?"

"Is it working?" she asked.

"Oh yeah!" he said.

"Good. I've got to leave. I've got a dead body that needs my attention," she said as she grabbed her things and headed out.

Once outside the building, she breathed in deeply as she tried to shake off the uneasiness she still felt every time she stepped outside of the lab.

Her hands still shook but at least her head seemed less clouded.

She still had difficulty dealing with detail but knew it was just from the after effects of the shooting.

_I killed a man…_

_He's dead because I shot him…_

_What do you fear?_

She jumped when a car backfired causing her to duck.

Brass caught the action.

He waited until she calmed before striking up a conversation.

"I heard about Greg," said Brass.

"What did you hear?" she asked defensively.

"Remind me that if I ever get in trouble to have you in my corner. Look, I don't think the geek boy did it either. He's too…geeky."

Sara frowned.

"Greg is a good kid," added Brass. "How are you?"

"Ready for dinner," she sighed as she wiped her brow.

"You sure you're dealing with this shooting?" he asked softly.

"I shot, I killed, got almost blown up, got a verbal warning and then…" she stopped and decided she had said enough.

"I would have given you a verbal too…maybe even a written," said Brass. "We're always more critical of the ones we love…not sure why but we are. I was always so critical with Ellie. I guess I felt she could do so much more than she let on."

She knew that was not the reason why Grissom had given her the warning. He'd made it perfectly clear over the years that he did not have any feelings for her.

"You ever hear from Ellie?" asked Sara.

"It's been six months. I'm always afraid I'll get the call one day that she died of an overdose."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

She returned a few hours later and waved to Greg when she passed him in the lab.

It was obvious he was upset.

He stood there and listened to Hodges as he rambled on and on about how he wanted "his" lab to run.

She could see the young man was straining to keep his anger in line.

It had been "his" lab before Hodges and he'd run it efficiently and could have remained in the lab where it was nice and safe but chose to join them in the field.

She partially blamed herself for that decision since she knew Greg had only done it to impress her.

_What do you fear?_

Greg's dark brown eyes flashed in Sara's direction.

She caught the pain and hurt.

Without thought, she waltzed into the lab room and grabbed Greg into her arms, kissing him thoroughly on the lips.

It was over before Greg could even react.

Her lips had been soft, gentle and tasted sweet.

He licked his lips as if savoring every drop of the kiss.

She glanced back and caught a smug look on Greg's face.

She hid her chuckle.

Grissom stepped out of the layout room to watch Sara as she walked up to Greg and kissed him on the lips.

Hodges became speechless as Greg's face beamed.

She strolled out and headed to the locker room.

Grissom was not sure what to make of the kiss.

He'd always know about the flirtatious behavior between Sara and Greg.

It was obvious the young man was hopelessly in love with Sara but she had shrugged it off as innocent office banter between two friends.

Grissom stepped into the locker room just as she closed her locker.

"Case go okay tonight?" he asked.

He wanted to ask about that kiss but thought that perhaps it was best he didn't.

"No problem," she said as she stood there.

She wasn't sure why she didn't just leave.

Perhaps it was because ever since they had almost died in the house she had longed to just tell him about her true feelings and take a chance that he just might feel the same way.

He opened his locker and glanced in her direction. "We're going to be shorthanded for awhile…at least until Ecklie and I decide about Greg."

"Give him the exam again," said Sara simply.

"Cheating on an exam is reason for termination," said Grissom.

Sara sat back down. "You're not going to fire Greg…are you?"

Her eyes pleaded with him.

He loved her eyes.

Her eyes were always dark but warm and gentle.

They gave away her emotions and he'd learned to always glimpse into those eyes to find her true feelings and at this moment he knew she was truly afraid for Greg.

"No…I'm not…but Ecklie might insist…"

"Greg didn't do anything wrong! Someone planted that exam…he had no reason to cheat," she insisted.

He smiled slightly.

"I'll talk with Ecklie about letting him retake the exam," said Grissom.

She smiled.

He loved that smile.

"Sleeping better?" he asked.

She was up quickly and heading toward the door.

"I'm fine," she lied but she stopped and looked back at him. "How are you…with the explosion…your hearing?"

His eyes widened.

"Who told you about my hearing?" he asked angrily.

She had heard about his surgery.

She had not even remembered it when she asked the question.

It had been an innocent concern based on the ringing in her ears since the blast.

The blast had been loud.

"My ears…blast was loud…" she stopped when she seemed to be fumbling over her words.

She did not want to admit that she may have been injured or that she still suffered from the effects of the blast.

He would yank her from the field immediately. Now, he was pissed once more.

She turned abruptly and practically ran out of the locker room.

She'd managed to get to her vehicle by the time he caught up with her.

"Sara!"

Her shoulders drooped the moment she heard his voice.

"Yes?" she replied without looking back.

Suddenly she felt him.

She knew that if she turned around they would be face to face.

His harshness had rattled her.

It had just been a gesture of kindness.

She was sure he had to be feeling the same things she did.

She also knew that Grissom rarely accepted any sense of emotional attachment from her.

"Turn around," he said softly.

"I was just concerned," she said as she reached for the door handle of her car.

His hand reached out and stopped her.

She turned but kept her eyes to the pavement.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell," he said. He glanced down and saw the trembling.

He cursed inwardly.

"After the lab explosion, Greg went through a period of…"

"It'll stop," she said interrupting him as she tried to hide her hands.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she lied.

She had no intentions of sharing if he wasn't.

"The blast…I've been a little off balance," he admitted, not sure why he wanted to share this with her when he'd hidden it from everyone else.

Her eyes met his.

"Me too," she whispered.

"It'll go away," he assured her.

She nodded.

"Migraine medication helped with…the headache," he added.

"Still have a dull ache…but I can work," she added quickly.

He smiled sadly.

"Ballistics said my gun jammed," he said. "Good thing you stayed…with me."

"I never like following orders from Catherine anyway," she said and it made him chuckle.

"You took a chance…dragging Conner…out," he said.

"I couldn't leave him," she admitted.

"Sara…thank you for saving my life," he said.

"You would have done the same," she said as she slipped into her car. "Besides, if anything happened to you I would be saddled with Catherine as a supervisor."

His hand lingered on the door of the vehicle.

"Take time off if you need it," he urged.

"I can work if you can," she said.

If they were not so short handed, he would have admitted he needed time off just so she would do the same.

"Just remember the offer stands," he said as he let go of the door.

He watched her drive away and wondered what other hellish effects she suffered without his knowledge.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

Sara stepped into the break room intent on grabbing a cup of coffee but found it empty.

"Can't anyone keep the coffee going?" she huffed.

"Bad night?" asked Catherine.

"Bad night, bad week, bad month…pretty much sucks all the way around," sighed Sara.

Catherine chuckled.

"We ordered pizza earlier," said Catherine.

Sara eyed the empty pizza box and sighed.

Catherine pulled out a plate in the microwave and handed it to Sara.

"We saved you two slices," offered Catherine.

"I'm starving," smiled Sara.

"It's got some meat on it but…"

Sara gawked.

"Just joking," grinned Catherine.

Sara made a face as she sat down and began eating.

She dropped the pizza when she heard Grissom in the doorway.

"Catherine, my office," he ordered.

He had not even bothered to acknowledge Sara and at the moment she was just relieved the focus was not on her.

She took a bite.

Brass stepped into the break room. "Got any idea why Grissom and Catherine are locked in his office?"

Sara shook her head.

"Is that pizza?" he asked.

Sara handed him the other slice.

"You're a good kid," he said between bites.

She finished off her slice and then downed a bottle of water.

They both looked up when Catherine stormed down the hall.

"She didn't look happy," whispered Brass.

"I'm going to just go hide…until shift is over," said Sara as she grabbed her things and headed to the door only to be stopped by Grissom.

"Are you rested?" he asked.

"Yes, but…"

"Nick is going to need some help," Grissom said as he hurried after Catherine.

Sara glanced back at Brass. "So much for hiding."

She had not seen Grissom pursue Catherine after a squabble. He usually avoided her but now he ran after her. Sara grabbed some new supplies and then met Nick in the hall way.

"Hey, have you seen Catherine?" asked Nick.

"I'm not sure…she left after meeting with Grissom…it wasn't pleasant. He told me to assist you."

"What's going on around here?" asked Nick.

"What do you mean?" asked Sara.

"Grissom has been acting strange…ever since the shooting."

Nick regretted it the moment he mentioned the shooting.

"He's probably getting some heat from Ecklie…you know how much he hates me. He's probably mad he can't find a reason to get rid of me," said Sara.

"It was a clean shot, Sara. I just mean…Grissom has been on edge…out of sorts."

_Me too…_

As they left the lab, they caught sight of Grissom as he spoke in a low voice to Greg. He glanced at them. It was obvious he was angry.

They had been working on the scene before Nick brought up the subject again.

"What do you think is the rift between Grissom and Catherine?" whispered Nick.

Sara's head bobbed up from taking the print. "Rift?"

"It's not like Catherine to leave without saying a word," explained Nick.

"No clue," answered Sara.

"Never seen him this worked up," said Nick.

"He's probably just tired…taking the heat for the shooting then Greg and now whatever it is that Catherine has done," said Sara.

"How are you doing?" asked Nick.

"I'm fine, Nicky," she said as she continued.

"It was a good thing you took the shot," said Nick.

She glanced at him for a second before returning to work. "I don't need a pep talk."

"You saved Grissom. When ballistics tested his gun it misfired…jammed. Conner would have shot Grissom."

Sara dropped the print dust sending it flying into the air.

Nick stepped back. "Just remember that…in case you feel guilty for shooting Conner."

They stepped back into the lab just as the shift was ending.

Sara leaned against the lockers.

"You look beat," said Warrick.

"I am," she groaned.

Sara let her head rest against the metal door as she closed her eyes.

She was startled when Nick slammed his locker.

"Sorry," he murmured.

Grissom stepped into the locker room.

All eyes looked at him.

"I need to talk with all of you," Grissom said in a low voice. "My office in five minutes."

He took note of her appearance before he left.

"Why do I not like the sound of that," muttered Nick.

"Maybe it's about Catherine," reasoned Warrick.

"Well, whatever it is can't be good if he wants to meet with us in his office. Normally, he would have just told us…here," said Sara.

"Catherine never came back," said Warrick. "I tried calling her but her phone rolls over to voice mail."

They sat there in his office as they waited for him to begin. He leaned forward in his chair.

"Catherine is going to be on leave," he began.

"What for?" asked Warrick.

"A bag with white substance was found in her locker," said Grissom. "It tested positive for cocaine."

"Catherine doesn't do drugs," announced Nick.

"You don't think this is odd that all of a sudden Greg is caught cheating and now Catherine with drugs?" asked Warrick.

"I don't think Greg cheated," replied Grissom. "Catherine will have to submit for drug testing."

"Wait, are you saying that you think Catherine has a drug problem?" yelled Warrick.

"Rick, keep your voice down," warned Grissom.

"You know she is not using," seethed Warrick.

"The test will prove it," answered Grissom. "I'm sure this will get resolved and Catherine will be back on the job soon. In the meantime, we're down two people."

_What do you fear? _It rattled around in Sara's head.

"Who found the cocaine?" asked Nick. "That's our first suspect."

"I did," answered Grissom. "Catherine had borrowed my print dust. She told me to get it from her locker. I found it. I checked for fingerprints and found Catherine's…only."

The room got quiet.

"What's going to happen?" asked Sara.

"She'll have to submit to random drug testing…if it's positive, she'll have to go through drug rehabilitation program…endure the slime in the other shifts that take great pleasure when we screw up," said Warrick.

Nick and Sara looked at Warrick.

"The protocol is the same for gambling," said Warrick.

"Did Catherine…" Grissom interrupted Nick.

"Catherine denies it," said Grissom.

"See…it's not hers," said Warrick. "Catherine would not lie to you…none of us would."

Grissom smiled sadly. "Evidence doesn't lie."

"Then you don't have all of the evidence," said Warrick as he got up and stormed out.

"No discussion of this to anyone…not even the reason why Catherine is off," ordered Grissom.

Sara waited until Nick left.

"You've not told personnel about this yet…have you?" asked Sara.

"I'd like to resolve this among ourselves first before I have to turn this over…"

She looked confused.

"I tested the bag…doc is going to do the drug screening…for my eyes only."

"Why didn't you give Greg the same benefit of the doubt?" she asked.

"Ecklie was standing there when I found the copy of the test exam."

"Wait, you found the test exam …and the bag of cocaine?" she asked.

He nodded.

_What do you fear?_

The hideous question continued to roll around in her head as she left his office.

Catherine failed the drug test.

Grissom stared at the report in disbelief.

Catherine tapped on his door.

"Can I report back to work now?" she asked sounding rather angry.

"Come in and close the door," he said.

"Gil…"

"You failed the drug test," said Grissom.

"That's impossible!" she yelled. "I haven't touched any drugs in years…Gil, you know that. I quit….I wouldn't screw up now…not with Lindsey depending on me."

"Doc checked the results himself."

"Run it again!" she said.

"He ran it three times," said Grissom.

"I can't explain it," she said quietly.

"Did you put yourself in any compromising position where…"

"No!"

"Maybe you didn't think…"

"No!"

"You'll have to submit to random drug testing…go through a drug…"

"I don't believe this! When personnel see this, I'll never get a supervisor position."

"Catherine…"

"I don't take cocaine!"

"What conclusion would you come to if you were in my position?" asked Grissom.

"I would trust my friend…we are friends aren't we?" she asked.

"As your boss, I'm ordering you to get help," he said.

"Yeah, well while you're flushing the pee down the toilet, you can just toss my career as well," she huffed as she stormed out of his office.

Grissom rubbed his temple.

He felt a migraine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

"I am beyond exhausted," whined Sara.

"I don't remember when I slept last," groaned Nick as they stepped into the lab.

"You think Warrick finished that case on 8th Street?" asked Sara.

"I'm sure Grissom…" Nick stopped when he looked up and saw Warrick arguing with Grissom.

"I guess he's still upset about Catherine," whispered Nick. "It's been a week and…"

Grissom motioned for the two.

They looked at one another.

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Nick.

"Nicky, tell Grissom that I was with you last Wednesday," said Warrick.

"Man right now, I can't remember what I did last night," grumbled Nick. "What's this all about?"

Warrick held up the betting stubs.

"Someone's been betting under my name…from this office," said Warrick.

"Not in the hall," whispered Grissom. "Let's…go to the diner."

Not another word was said until they were seated in the back of the diner.

Once the waitress left them, Warrick began.

"We're being framed," whispered Warrick.

"I agree," replied Grissom.

Warrick seemed a bit relieved.

"First Greg, then Catherine and now you," said Nick. "Who's next?"

"The unit is getting smaller," sighed Sara as she sipped on the coffee.

"Who knows about the betting stubs?" asked Warrick.

"Judy…and myself," replied Grissom.

"You just happened to find the damning evidence again?" asked Sara.

"I saw the Tangiers envelope in Warrick's slot. I thought it was from the case last week," explained Grissom. "I opened it and found twenty thousand dollars."

"He's buying lunch," quipped Nick.

"It's not my money," fumed Warrick.

"This doesn't make any sense," groaned Sara. "Why would anyone want to frame…"

"You think I'm gambling again?" Warrick challenged.

"I didn't say that. I'm just saying…why us? It's got to be connected to a case…which one?"

_What do you fear? _

She rubbed her temple and Grissom took notice.

"I suggest you and Nick go home and get some sleep," said Grissom. "I'll try to keep this under wraps but Judy is likely to…"

He was interrupted by his phone.

He glanced at the caller I.D.

"Ecklie."

"At least I don't have to pee in a cup," said Warrick. "With my record, I'm sure Ecklie is going to demand my job."

"I don't believe you're gambling," spoke up Sara.

Warrick squeezed her hand as he left.

Grissom flipped off the phone.

"Ecklie wants to know where the money came from," said Grissom.

"Stall…until we can look at this fresh," said Nick.

"You sound like me," smiled Grissom.

"Someone is messing with us…we just need to find out who," whispered Nick.

"Be careful," warned Grissom.

Sara kicked off her shoes as she stretched out on the couch. Her eyes closed immediately.

_What do you fear?_

She cursed as she rolled over and slept.

Warrick was still on duty when she entered the lab the next night.

"How did Grissom explain the money?" whispered Nick to Warrick.

"He told Ecklie Catherine had loaned me the money…it seemed to fit since her father owns the Tangiers," whispered Warrick.

"Good thinking," smiled Nick.

"Until something else happens," replied Warrick.

It was not to last.

Four days later, Grissom was questioned by Ecklie regarding betting slips found on Warrick's desk.

"It's a case," explained Grissom.

"He's gambling again…your unit is falling apart," said Ecklie.

"Conrad…"

"I want a report of your action on my desk by the end of the shift," warned Ecklie.

Grissom's jaw twitched but he said nothing.

"We've got nothing on this guy," whispered Warrick. "It's got to be someone here in the lab."

"I checked the most recent gambling stubs…they have your fingerprints on them," whispered Nick.

"This person is good," sneered Warrick.

"Unless we can find something…anything…I'm not sure Grissom can…"

He was interrupted by a phone call.

"Nicky…I need you."

"Laura?"

He'd missed her these past few weeks.

They had been dating for months and just as things were getting serious, he stepped back, not sure why he felt the need to withdraw.

He loved her.

He was certain of that.

Just the sound of her voice, caused a rise out of him.

Nick shifted the phone for more privacy.

"I really need you to come…here," she pleaded.

"Laura, honey this is not a good time. I can't leave the office right now," he explained in a hushed voice.

Sara and Warrick watched as he stepped away from them.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nicky, please you have to come…I'm not sure what I'll do if you don't come."

"I'll come by after work," he promised.

He'd not heard this in her voice before and it frightened him.

Laura was bubbly and out-going, everything his mother would want in a wife for him but he was scared of commitment especially after the hellish things he'd seen in his job.

He knew she wanted a family and he wasn't certain he wanted one at that moment.

"Now…please."

"Laura, things are really bad here at the moment. I can't…"

"I thought you cared," she cried.

"I do…I know I haven't been around much these past few weeks but…"

"Nicky…"

It unnerved him when he heard crying on the end of the line.

"Laura?"

"Goodbye…Nick."

He jumped when he heard the gunshot.

"Laura!"

"What's wrong?" asked Warrick.

"I heard a gunshot," said Nick.

Nick searched down the hall but Grissom was nowhere in sight.

"Tell Grissom!" yelled Nick as he rushed out of the lab.

"I'll get Brass to send out a patrol car," called Sara.

Warrick stood in the layout room with Greg.

Sara stepped inside. "You can help me when you're done, Greg."

"It's not like I've got much else to do," replied Greg.

Grissom walked up to the others.

"Sara, get your kit," he said softly. "Brass just called. Nick's friend was found dead..possible suicide."

"Laura? That's impossible!" said Warrick. "She's not the type to off herself."

"Brass is going to send Nick home. I've called Catherine…to see if she can…he's taking it pretty hard," said Grissom.

"She was practically begging Nick to come over," breathed Sara.

"He didn't know she was going to kill herself," said Warrick.

"Maybe she didn't," said Grissom. "We'll wait for the autopsy report."

Sara stepped into the house and immediately saw the photos of Laura and Nick. Her gloved hand ran across the table as she touched each one.

"They looked happy," she said to Brass.

"Her body is the bathroom…most women who commit…"

"This is wrong," said Sara as she stood there holding her kit.

"Let's just get this done," said Grissom behind her.

She whirled around and was surprised to see him.

"I can handle this," said Sara.

"It will go faster if we do it together," said Grissom as he stepped past her.

"I'm surprised Ecklie would let us…"

"Grissom didn't tell him…that Nick knew the victim," explained Brass.

Grissom stared down at the body.

She was a beautiful woman despite the pool of blood surrounding her body.

There was a dark blotch just at the temple indicating the point of entry.

The gun lay beside her body.

"Laura Reynolds had a handgun permit for a .38 special," reported Brass. "Neighbors did not see anything."

Grissom nodded as he began processing the scene.

Five hours later they finished.

They'd gone over the house trying to find any proof that someone else was in the house but found none.

Grissom wiped his brow.

"You look tired," commented Sara.

"I am…I'm tired of this," he admitted.

"You think she did it?" asked Sara.

"The evidence…"

"Screw the evidence, Grissom. You can't tell me you believe all of this is just happening to the unit because of bad karma."

"What am I supposed to believe? We can't find a shred of evidence to prove…"

"That doesn't mean it isn't there…this guy is good…better than us," she breathed.

_What do you fear?_

They attended the funeral with Nick.

He had said very little to anyone.

Catherine had tried to comfort him but he'd thrown off any gesture.

They'd managed to get Nick to agree to come to Catherine's for dinner afterwards.

It was good that the unit was together even if it were on such a mournful occasion.

When dinner began, he slipped outside and sat on a bench.

Sara had followed.

Sara slipped her hand into his.

"Hey," she whispered.

"I kept putting her off," he sniffled. "She kept asking me to come to her house but I kept…"

"Nicky, you didn't know," Sara whispered.

"She had been getting serious…I wasn't sure…I sort of called for a cooling off period," he said wiping his eyes. "The funny thing, the longer I was away from her the more convinced I was that she was the one."

His shoulders shook as Sara hugged him tight to her.

Grissom watched from the window as Sara comforted Nick.

_She's so good at that…_

"I let her down…just like…my brother," he cried.

"Your brother?" asked Sara.

"I didn't just grow up in a house full of sisters…I had a younger brother…he followed me everywhere. One day we were playing in the barn. I'd been trying to shake him all morning. I was pretty mean…always wanting to ditch him. He called out for me to help him. I thought he was joking…just wanted to know where I was hiding. He started to cry and so I finally walked out and saw him hanging from the rafter. He'd missed the ladder. I ran up the ladder as fast as I could and reached out to grab him but…I didn't get to him in time…he fell. He died because I wouldn't listen to him when he needed help. I swore I'd never let someone down again…not be there when…"

He didn't finish. "I've lived with the guilt and…fear all of my life."

"Fear?" she asked.

"Fear of never helping the person I love," he choked.

_What do you fear?_

She continued to sit there with Nick for several minutes before urging him to go inside. He grabbed his jacket and left.

Sara leaned against the wall as the others talked quietly.

"He just needs time, Sara," whispered Catherine.

Sara rubbed her temple and cursed out loud.

It startled Grissom as he watched her.

"Sara, are you alright?" he asked.

"What do you fear?" she asked.

Heads popped up at the question she posed to Grissom.

"What?"

"Fear…this bastard is feeding on our fears," she breathed. "Greg, you told me you feared…well you know what you told me…Nick just said…he felt guilty for the death of his brother…he feared not being there for another loved one…he wasn't."

She looked at Warrick. "What do you fear?"

"I was afraid I would start gambling again," replied Warrick.

They looked at Catherine.

"Before I met Eddie and was a dancer, I had a problem…with cocaine. I was afraid I might start again. How did this person know?" asked Catherine.

"What do you fear?" asked Sara again to Grissom.

_I'm afraid of being alone…losing you…_

They glanced from Grissom to Sara.

"You two are next," warned Warrick.

_What do you fear?_

"Who could go to such lengths to…"

"Conner," said Sara.

"Conner is dead," said Grissom.

"Tell me this doesn't feel like…his work," shot back Sara.

"We can't go to Ecklie on feelings," said Grissom softly.

"He had an accomplice," said Warrick.

"We sort of thought he wasn't working alone," said Catherine. "Remember the countless hours we talked about that case?"

"Every shift we were asking that question," said Catherine staring at Sara.

"What do you fear?" asked Catherine to Sara.

"I never replied," she reminded them.

They looked at Grissom.

He shook his head.

"I told Warrick about the cocaine…he talked about the gambling," admitted Catherine.

"Wait, Greg told me...after the incident," Sara said looking at Greg.

"I got mad at Hodges when he sort of accused me of having an inside to the test…you," said Greg to Sara. "I went off about being accused of such a thing."

"Nicky told me about his brother one evening," said Grissom. "It was months ago…he's wiretapped the lab."

They were silent.

"Grissom, we've got to get this guy," fumed Warrick. "He murdered Laura…just to remind Nick of his fear."

Sara closed her eyes.

_What do you fear?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

Sara smiled when Grissom handed her a cup of coffee.

"Warrick and Catherine will be late," said Grissom.

"They're back…to work?" asked Sara.

"We tested everything in Catherine's house for traces of cocaine and came up empty," said Grissom as he took a sip of coffee.

"But you said Catherine was coming in," said Sara.

Grissom smiled. "Catherine was the only person who used sugar in her coffee."

Sara glanced down at the sugar container that was now missing.

"When we didn't find anything in her house we moved the search here…it was in the sugar…she kept this hid from everyone…I guess our person knew this."

"Wouldn't she have noticed?" asked Sara.

"There was a small trace in her system. Personnel wouldn't care. The fact that she tested positive would be damaging. I've convinced Ecklie the betting stubs were planted…as a joke within the unit."

Sara gawked.

"He bought it…I think he just wants the unit covered. I'm sure he's watching us," sighed Grissom.

"Well, at least we have some help….what about Greg?" asked Sara.

"I'm still working on that…Ecklie isn't convinced to let Greg retake the exam," said Grissom.

"Do you think this is going to piss off the…"

"I'm not sure."

They were both quiet for a moment.

"Right now, it's just you and me," said Grissom.

"Want to flip for the case?" asked Sara to Grissom.

"We'll go together," he said.

"But there's another 419…"

"I sent Nick."

"But…"

"Are you full of buts today?" he asked trying to make light of the situation.

"I thought Nick was going to take some time off," she said as she slid into the Denali.

"He wants to work," replied Grissom. "Sometimes work can be therapy."

"Well, somehow I don't feel like the therapy is working," she yawned.

He slightly glanced in her direction.

"Having trouble sleeping?" he asked.

"All the time," she admitted.

It was a rather dull case.

An accident took a life.

There was no murderer lurking about but they felt as if they were being watched.

Sara could not help but survey the area every now and then.

Brass did the same as he stood watch.

"I heard you may reopen the Fear Ripper Cases," whispered Brass.

Grissom hated the name the media had given to the serial murders.

"The M.O. fits…we've not worked on any other case where the murderer would go to such lengths to taunt his victims," replied Grissom as he glanced at Sara who had her back to them.

"The difference is that he hasn't killed any of you," whispered Brass.

"Not yet."

"You think he's going to try…"

"We just need to find this guy before he gets a chance," said Grissom.

"You guys watch your back," said Brass. "At least we've removed all of the wiretapping devices. It helped convince Ecklie that something is going on."

"Temporary," muttered Grissom.

Grissom glanced in Sara's direction. He had not been able to sleep for fear that something would happen to Sara. He wondered what she feared and why she could not seem to sleep.

As the shift ended, Sara stood in his doorway.

"I thought I would stay over and…"

"Go home," Grissom ordered.

"But…"

"No buts. You're exhausted. Want to tell me why you can't sleep?"

"I think there are more than enough reasons floating around this place," she said.

Days passed without any further incident.

She stepped into the locker room and found Grissom sitting on the bench.

"Not sure if you are coming or going," she teased.

"I came in early…after I got the phone call from Jim," he said quietly.

Sara slumped down on the bench. "What's wrong?"

Grissom briefly glanced at her.

"Jim got a call a few hours ago. Ellie…"

"Ellie is dead," breathed Sara.

Grissom looked surprised.

"Jim told me he was always afraid of getting the phone call that Ellie had overdosed…I guess she did…with a little help from Conner."

"Sara, Conner is dead."

"It's him. I feel him in everything we do," she said as she stood, opening her locker.

His hand snaked out and took hers.

The touch rattled them both and he quickly released her hand.

"I think the shooting has affected you more than you want to admit," he said.

She sat back down.

They were face to face, knee to knee and neither budged.

_What do you fear…_

"We're the only two that hasn't admitted what we fear," she whispered.

"Don't give in to fear," he warned softly.

"I'm not…it's just…"

They were interrupted by Warrick.

"Hey, I thought I was going to be the only person here a few hours early," he said.

Sara slid back, no longer touching. They were not sure whether Warrick had noticed the physical contact or not.

Grissom quickly returned to his locker.

"Why the glum faces?" asked Warrick.

"Jim's daughter overdosed," replied Grissom.

"You think her death is connected with…"

"Yes," replied Sara as she walked out of the locker room.

Grissom watched as she left.

"Ellie had a drug problem for years…it could be just coincidence," said Grissom.

"Is Sara okay?" asked Warrick.

"I'm not sure," admitted Grissom.

"I think this whole thing has everyone rattled," said Warrick. "You know, you and Sara never said…"

"And we're not going to either," answered Grissom as he left the locker room.

Brass returned to work a few days later. He acted as though nothing had happened, diving into the investigation with Grissom.

Grissom eyed his friend and was not sure whether to say something.

"Jim, I'm sorry about Ellie," he said one night.

"It's not like I didn't expect it," he admitted. "The timing just made me wonder…if perhaps she had help."

Grissom nodded as he stared at the layout room that was covered with the serial murder evidence.

"We haven't had any proof that would prove our theory that Conner is behind all of this."

"I thought Sara was the only person who still thinks…"

"We suspected an accomplice but now…I don't know," sighed Grissom.

"Where is Sara?" asked Brass.

"I took her off this case…I think she's still having trouble dealing with the explosion and the shooting."

"Kid has looked tired," agreed Brass.

"Has she told you…anything?" asked Grissom.

Brass shook his head. "She doesn't open up much."

_Not even with me…_

As the shift ended, Sara returned from the field. Grissom's head bobbed up when he heard laughter coming from the hallway.

"Funny Greg," said Sara as she logged in the evidence.

"See you later," said Greg as he clocked out. Sara stopped by Grissom's office and found it empty. She appeared in the lay out room and tapped on the door frame.

"Going home?" she asked.

"Soon," he lied.

"Want some help? I could…"

"Go home. You need the rest," he ordered.

She was tired and yet she hated going home to her apartment.

She also knew she would not sleep well knowing they were no closer to solving this than several weeks ago.

"Night," she called softly.

"Sara?"

She turned looking hopeful.

"Ecklie has decided…not to let Greg retake the exam."

"That's not fair!" she said.

"Ecklie doesn't have the last word…I'm still working on it," he said.

She fled before another would was uttered.

He didn't know why he drove there.

For some reason, she seemed different and his concern took control of his actions as he drove to Sara's apartment.

He got out of his vehicle and stood there poised to knock on her door.

He glanced down at his watch and knew there was a chance she was already sleeping.

He stood there for a moment and listened.

There was no sound coming from the apartment.

_Let her sleep, Grissom…_

_Call her later…_

_Urge her to stay home where it's safe…._

He drove home telling himself he needed to take his own advice and get some sleep.

The nightmare woke him.

He lay there panting as he tried to get a grip on his emotions.

He went back to the lab for solace.

The security guard shook his head when he reentered the lab.

"Don't you ever go home, Dr. Grissom?" asked Marty.

"Is everyone gone home?" he asked.

"Hours ago," replied Marty.

He liked it that way. It gave him time to think.

Grissom retraced every piece of evidence in the serial cases.

He poured himself another cup of coffee and leaned against the counter in the break room.

He was surprised when the others walked in.

"We thought we might find you here," said Catherine.

"You should be sleeping," said Grissom.

"Who can sleep?" muttered Greg. He looked around. "Why are you here?"

Grissom said nothing.

He'd awakened from a nightmare and had come to the lab to avoid the urge to go back to Sara's and check on her.

The pounding in his skull was almost unbearable but he was determined to sift once again through the evidence.

"We met at the diner. Cat showed up later," explained Warrick.

His head popped up when Catherine's phone rang.

She glanced at Grissom briefly.

"I need to check on something at home," said Catherine. "I'll be back."

She caught Grissom's concerned look.

"It's nothing," she urged as she disappeared.

Catherine quickly stepped into the emergency room and checked with the nurses.

Once she was directed to the correct floor she hurriedly made her way to the waiting room.

She immediately saw Brass standing out in the hallway.

"Your message worried me…come alone," she said.

"It's Sara. I went by there and found her unconscious."

"Is she sick?" asked Catherine.

"It's possible she's been assaulted," said Brass. "That's why I called you…for an S.A. kit."

"We should call Grissom," instructed Catherine.

"She asked for you…only," said Brass.

"Grissom is going to have our hide," muttered Catherine as she stepped into the room and looked at the brunette.

She lay there on her side.

"Hey," said Catherine softly.

"Someone…got into my apartment while I was asleep," she managed to get out.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"I don't know what happened," she said barely above a whisper.

Catherine sucked in air when she glanced down and saw Sara's wrists.

"Sara, we're going to need to do an S.A. kit and check for trace evidence," explained Catherine.

Sara nodded slightly.

Catherine was gentle with her wrist.

"Are there any other…"

"My back," whispered Sara. "And ribs."

"I'll just take some photos…"

Catherine gasped when she saw Sara's back.

"Sara, do you remember how you got these marks?"

"I don't remember much," she said. "A few words…muffled voice."

"Male or female?" asked Catherine.

"I'm not sure," she grimaced.

"We're going to need to process your apartment," said Catherine.

"No."

"It's a crime scene," said Catherine.

"No."

"Sara…"

"Just run the…tests…then…" she didn't finish.

Catherine patted her on her leg. "The doctor wants to keep you overnight."

"I want to go…" she stopped immediately. She didn't want to stay but yet she did not want to go back to her apartment just yet.

"Let's take this one thing at a time," soothed Catherine.

"Catherine?"

"Yes?"

"The tests…your eyes only…then mine."

"Grissom needs to know," said Catherine.

"No…I'll stay overnight."

An hour passed and soon Catherine finished.

The nurse slipped in and gave Sara some pain medication.

Brass stood outside in the waiting room as he waited for Catherine.

She stepped out with the S.A. kit.

"She wants me to process this myself," whispered Catherine.

"Did she tell you what happened?" asked Brass.

"She passed out…vaguely remembers hearing a voice…she was probably drugged. We'll need to go through the apartment with a fine tooth comb. Jim, her back is raw. The medical report shows she was beaten with something…by the bruises and cuts on her wrists she tried to get away. Her ribs are bruised…I got a partial shoe print. There was some hair…as well as semen. We need to catch this bastard."

"Are they going to discharge her?" asked Brass.

"They want to keep her overnight," said Catherine. "She can't go back to the apartment."

"I think I should call Grissom," said Brass.

"She didn't want anyone to know about this just yet," whispered Catherine.

"A police report has to be filed," said Brass.

"I'm not sure she's willing…"

"That doesn't sound like Sara. She's always encouraged assault victims to file charges," said Brass.

"She's going to be pretty upset if you call Grissom but maybe he can convince her," said Catherine. "So far none of the evidence has been tainted."

_What do you fear, Sara?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

Sara grimaced as she tried to lie on her side.

She was grateful Brass had grabbed some clothing for her to change into.

All thoughts of procedure had been forgotten as she just struggled to breathe through the pain.

Catherine had taken all of her clothes to process.

_Process…_

_What do you fear?_

She closed her eyes and tried to remember any additional information.

_The voice…._

Her eyes shot open when Brass stepped inside.

"Hey kiddo," he said as he sat down beside the bed. "I know you didn't want me to call anyone but Catherine and I think it would be best if I called Grissom."

She struggled to get up.

"Just lie still," he soothed. "You should try to sleep."

"I didn't want…" she winced through the pain.

Her back was on fire.

Her side hurt.

She pulled the covers up to hide the bandages on her wrists.

"I need to get a statement from you in order to file a…"

"No…not yet," she whispered.

A nurse entered the room.

"We need to check the bandages on your back. Ms. Sidle," the nurse announced.

Jim's eyes immediately shot to Sara's back.

Sara's eyes locked with Jim's.

His hand sought hers as she closed her eyes and braced for the pain.

"It's stopped bleeding," said the nurse.

Brass examined the cuts and bruises on her back.

He fumed inwardly as his fingers caressed hers.

"It needs ointment," said the nurse.

"I'd like to be discharged," said Sara to the nurse.

"We'd like to keep you over night," said the nurse.

"I'm leaving," breathed Sara.

Brass nervously glanced at the nurse.

"Sara, it would be better if you stayed," he urged.

"Jim, you can either help me or…I'll do it myself," she said.

Sara scribbled her name on the discharge instructions and was thankful when they were out of the hospital and in his vehicle.

Brass slipped out his phone as soon as she disappeared into her bathroom.

"Cath, anything on that evidence?" whispered Brass.

"I haven't had time to run it…too many prying eyes," responded Catherine as she glanced around.

"Sara is out of the hospital," said Brass.

"I was afraid of that. I hope you didn't leave her," said Catherine as she watched Grissom head toward her office.

"I'm here with her…at the apartment," said Brass.

"The apartment has to be processed," seethed Catherine.

"Well, she's not exactly playing by the rules. I'll try to convince her to leave…stay someplace else for the night…like my house."

"Is she still insisting on keeping this quiet?" asked Catherine.

"At least until you've processed the evidence."

"I'm on it," replied Catherine as she hung up.

Grissom's head bobbed in. "Everything okay at home?"

"Of course. Just thought I would get caught up on some things," she replied.

"Tell Sara I need to see her when she gets in," he called as he headed down the hall.

Sara stepped out of the bathroom.

The shower had felt good until the water hit her back.

She'd managed to get the bandages wet. There was no way she could re-bandage it and she had no intentions of asking for help.

"You don't have to stay," she said as she skirted past the bed without glancing toward it.

"Sara, I'm not leaving you here by yourself," he said.

"You're not. I'm going to work," she said.

He gawked at her.

"You're in no condition to work," Brass complained.

"Yes, I am," she said as she grabbed a jacket.

"Sara, I think we should tell…"

"Catherine…should have the evidence analyzed soon," she stated as she headed toward the door.

He quickly reached for her arm but she recoiled.

"You can't come back here," he said.

She glanced around as she picked up the overnight bag. "I know."

She was relieved when she walked into the lab and found that Grissom was out in the field.

She wiped her forehead as she picked up her messages and then made her way to Catherine's office.

Catherine glanced up and fumed. "You shouldn't even be here."

"I can work," Sara insisted. "The evidence…"

Catherine started to speak when Nick bobbed his head into the doorway.

"Grissom just called. He needs some help. I was wondering if Sara was available," said Nick.

"Sara was going to help me," said Catherine.

Nick glanced down at the floor. "Mind if we switch? Warrick is in the field and…Grissom is covering a…suicide."

"I'm on it," replied Sara as she headed toward the door.

"Sara!" called Catherine.

"Call me if you get any leads on that case," called Sara as her hand gently touched Nick as she left.

"I sorry I had to do that," said Nick.

"You know how Sara likes to work with Grissom," replied Catherine.

"Is she alright? She looked a little pale," said Nick.

"She may be coming down with something…Grissom will send her home if needed."

Nick nodded as he stood there.

"So, what are we working on?"

Catherine blinked.

"Working on?" she asked.

"Sara was helping you with something," said Nick.

"You know I'm almost done anyway. Why don't you try to get caught up on paperwork," she said.

"You sure?"

"Sara practically had it almost done anyway," urged Catherine.

Catherine was relieved when Nick accepted the offer and disappeared. She quickly locked her office and pulled out the evidence as she began running the test results through the database for a possible match.

Sara gulped in air as she stood outside.

She did not realize she would be in so much pain.

She pulled out the medicine and stared at it.

_Stupid, Sara…_

_You can't take this and work in the field…_

She shoved the medicine back into her pocket and headed to the crime scene.

Grissom glanced up when she stepped into the house with kit in hand.

"Thanks for coming out to help," he said.

"Where do you want me?" she asked.

"The other room. I'll finish this one."

"This one? Nick said it was a suicide."

"It appears he raped and killed the woman but then killed himself. I found some photos in that cabinet…they knew one another."

Sara breathed in deeply as she headed toward the bedroom.

"Hey Sara?"

She stopped but did not turn around.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'll get to work."

She entered the bedroom and stared down at the woman whose body lay on the bed. Blood dripped from the bed onto the carpeted floor.

"I hate this," she gulped.

"Did you say something?" called Grissom.

"It looks like a gunshot wound to the temple…good thing Nick didn't come."

"Did he ask you to come?"

"I offered," she lied.

She pulled out her camera and took several photos.

Once this was done, she began collecting evidence.

She leaned over and cursed through the pain.

Her blouse rubbed against the wounds.

She'd worn a long sleeve blouse to hide the cuts and bruises on her wrists.

Each time she reached she grimaced from the pain.

It was excruciating but she was determined to finish the room.

"Hey Sara, I…"

Grissom stopped suddenly and stared at her.

She glanced down and saw that he was staring at her hands.

She quickly smoothed down her sleeves.

"What's wrong with your…"

"Nothing," she said as she rushed to collect the last of the evidence and began carrying it to her vehicle.

Grissom started toward her but he was stopped by his phone.

"Grissom."

By the time he had finished the phone call, Sara was already packed.

"See you back at the lab," she called as she started her vehicle.

He looked confused as she drove away.

_It's not like her to not hang around…_

_What was on her wrist?_

She logged in the evidence and quickly made her way to Catherine's office.

Once there she stepped inside and shut the door.

"Have you…"

"You should sit down," whispered Catherine. "You don't look well."

_What do you fear, Sara?_

Sara leaned back ignoring the pain.

"Catherine, if you have the results then just tell me," Sara said.

"How long have you and Grissom been involved?" asked Catherine.

"We're not! He's my boss…nothing more."

"You can confide in me…I won't tell anyone."

"This isn't happening," fumed Sara. "Did you run the evidence or not."

"Sara, we got a match…on the hair and…semen."

Sara gulped. "The person was in the database?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Grissom."

Sara blinked.

"Sara, you should have told me you and Grissom were involved," said Catherine. "He was the only…"

Catherine stopped as Sara lost all color. Catherine rushed over and pulled her back down into a chair.

"I'm fine," she said as she grabbed the report from Catherine's hands and stared at the results.

"You were about to fall on your face," seethed Catherine.

"The hair follicle…semen…Grissom's?" she managed to get out.

Catherine slid down in the seat next to her.

"Wait, you can't be implying that Grissom did this to you?" asked Catherine.

"I'm not."

"So you two were together and then this happened…it was just a beating…nothing more."

Sara sat there trying to take in the information.

"We need to process the apartment for evidence to find out who beat you."

"No….I'm not filing charges."

"Look, if you're afraid…"

"No!" Sara yelled as she fled the room with the report in her hand.

She ignored the others in the halls as she hurried outside.

She did not slow down until she was leaning against the far wall of the building.

_This can't be happening…_

_This can't be happening…_

_What did you fear, Sara?_

Sara's phone went off and she glanced down to see that it was Catherine.

She let it ring.

She closed her eyes as she swiped at a single tear that finally dropped.

She stood there shaking uncontrollably.

_What do you fear, Sara?_

Her phone went off again.

This time it was Grissom.

"Sidle" she whispered.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm at the lab."

Grissom started to get out of his vehicle when he noticed a figure in the darkened parking lot.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm not feeling well. Mind if I leave early?" she asked trying to keep the emotions at bay.

"Mind if I see you before you leave?" he asked. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the restroom," she lied.

"I can send Catherine in," he offered.

"Not necessary. I'll be in your office in a few minutes," she said.

He watched as she closed her phone.

Her shoulders shook and it was obvious she was crying.

He quietly made his way to the side of the building.

She sat down on the pavement as she fell apart.

"Sara?"

She jumped causing her back to collide with the wall and she cried out.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he tried to assess her condition.

"Nothing," she said as she tried to get to her feet. His hand reached out and helped her stand. He pulled her into the light and stared at her wrists.

"What happened?" he asked quickly.

She tried to yank her hands away but he refused to let go.

"Tell me!"

A soft sob escaped her lips and he pulled her into his arms.

She sobbed further from the physical pain.

"I really need to go home," she begged.

"How did you hurt your wrists?" he asked.

"Accident," she lied. "Grissom…please let go… of me."

His grip did not lessen.

"These are rope burns…cuts…from being bound."

Her eyes remained fixed on the pavement.

"Who did this to you?" he demanded.

"I want to go home," she breathed.

"Sara, answer me!"

"I …can't," she managed to get out.

"What do you mean, you can't?"

Voices were heard as some other personnel headed toward the back door.

Grissom pulled her back into the darkness.

His hand shot up and cupped her chin.

"Talk to me," he whispered.

"Gil, please," she begged.

It was the first time she had ever used his first name and his hands quickly dropped to his side.

She bolted the moment he released her. She did not stop until she was in her vehicle.

Grissom stepped out of the darkness just as Catherine opened the back door.

"I've been looking for you," called Catherine. "Was that Sara?"

"Catherine, have you talked with Sara today?"

"That's what I need to talk with you about…not here. Let's go to the diner," said Catherine.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

Grissom waited until the waitress disappeared and then peppered Catherine with questions.

"Whoa!" she said. "Maybe I should just tell you what I know and then go from there."

"What happened?" he demanded.

"First, I have to ask you something…something I know I have no business knowing but I have to know," she stressed.

"Out with it, Catherine," he said impatiently.

"Have you and Sara…ever been…intimate?" she asked.

"No."

"Shit!" yelled Catherine.

"Catherine, what's going on?"

"That phone call I got…it was from Brass…not from home. He'd gone by Sara's apartment and found her unconscious. He called an ambulance…she'd been beaten with an object…a belt I can only surmise. Her back is riddled with deep lacerations…her ribs are bruised…I got a partial shoe print. This is where it gets crazy. There were…hair follicles…and semen. I did an S.A. kit and took the evidence back to the lab."

"Sara was raped?"

"She can't remember very much. There were…hair follicles and semen but no vaginal tearing."

"Consensual?"

"That's what I thought when I ran the evidence and it matched…you."

Grissom looked shocked.

"I asked her if the two of you had been intimate and she denied it but then she looked just as shocked as you when I told her the results. She refused to press any charges…Gil, I think she's afraid the police might point the finger at you….they would with the evidence I've collected."

"This is crazy! I never…"

"I hate to say this but now you know how I felt. It's a bitch to be accused of something you didn't do despite the overwhelming evidence," said Catherine.

"Her… injuries," he stuttered. "Should she be working?"

"I'm sure she's in pain," said Catherine. "The next day following a beating is always the worst."

Grissom gawked at Catherine.

"…or so I've heard," added Catherine not wanting to get into her history of physical fights with Eddie.

"Brass knew about this and didn't file a police report?" fumed Grissom.

"Sara wanted to wait until…the evidence was processed…not sure why," said Catherine.

"We've got to process her apartment," said Grissom.

"She's not going to let you," warned Catherine.

"I'm not going to give her a choice!" he barked.

"Oh, go in with that kind of attitude and you'll back her into a corner. Sara doesn't need that right now. Gil, she's pretty battered."

"What do you suggest? She's probably gone back to her apartment…the same place where she was attacked. She's not thinking clearly," he grieved.

"Are you?" she whispered. "Sara is trying to protect you. If you're charged, you could lose your job."

Grissom ran his hands through his hair. "I went by there…I was worried about her. I stood at her door but I didn't hear anything so I came back to the lab."

"Did you see anyone?" asked Catherine.

"I ran into an old lady in the elevator along with the apartment manager down stairs as I was leaving."

"Two witnesses who can place you at her apartment…the evidence is mounting against you."

"Sara can't stay there. It's not safe," he said as he stood.

Grissom threw down a twenty onto the table as he headed out the door.

"What are you going to do?" asked Catherine.

"We're going to convince her to let you or I collect the evidence in her apartment."

They came face to face with Nick.

"I was on the other side…I heard about Sara. I'm coming with you," he insisted. "Maybe between the three of us we can talk some sense into her."

He tapped lightly on her apartment door.

Catherine examined the door.

"No forced entry," she whispered.

He could hear movement on the other side of the door.

"Sara? It's me, Grissom."

They knew she stood on the other side of the door.

"Catherine told me what happened," he said. "Sara, please let us in."

There was silence and then the dead bolts were removed.

They hurried inside without invitation.

Sara glanced down and saw Catherine's field kit along with Nick's.

"That's not necessary. I've gone through the bedroom…"

Catherine and Grissom exchanged nervous glances.

"Sara, anything you collect would not be considered admissible," explained Catherine.

"I'm not pressing charges," Sara reminded Catherine.

"Let us look for evidence…then you can decide," Nick offered.

"There's no evidence…except what he wanted us to find," she said.

They glanced around the apartment.

_What do you fear, Sara?_

"I had the manager to change the lock," she said. "I've already…taken care of the bedroom."

Grissom fumed.

She'd thrown the sheets away, replacing them with fresh linen.

"You can't stay here," Grissom said as his eyes wandered toward the bedroom.

"No one is safe…until this man is caught," replied Nick.

Sara felt a shiver down her spine.

Since the shooting, she'd not felt safe.

The feeling intensified with each incident.

_What do you fear, Grissom?_

"You can't stay here," Grissom said once again.

Sara wanted to argue but just the hour or so she'd spent there, had brought back flashes of a familiar voice followed by the sting of the belt as it slashed across her back.

She'd been beaten before with a belt but this time it had meant to cripple and break her.

She felt broken at that moment.

"I'll finish here and then go," Sara said. "I doubt there will be any fingerprints except those of myself and possibly Brass or the paramedics. Nick was here a few weeks ago."

Nick nodded.

Catherine spoke up. "Listen, if you don't mind sharing a house with a mouthy teenager in the making then you're welcome to…"

"Thanks Cath but I'm… going to get a hotel…near the lab," she said. "I packed a few things earlier but I wanted to check…" she did not finish as she felt her voice faltering.

She had wanted to check for any other evidence in her bedroom.

She wasn't sure whether she was thankful for the lack of evidence or not.

Bits and pieces were garbled inside her head and none of it made sense.

"Sara, do you remember drinking or eating anything prior to bed?" asked Grissom.

"Some juice," she breathed. She pointed to a glass sitting on the counter. "I felt very drowsy…I remember falling to sleep on the couch…not the bed."

"I'll get this to the lab and run some tests," said Catherine.

Nick and Grissom glanced at one another.

Nick made the first move. "Sara…"

"I should go," she said as she grabbed her keys from the counter and then headed toward the door.

"I'd feel better if you stayed with one of us," pressed Grissom.

She shook her head.

Nick pulled her aside. "Stay with me," Nick urged.

"I just want to sleep…I don't want questions or…"

"Then it's settled," he said as he rubbed her arm lightly.

She stood there unsure of her reply.

Grissom had wanted to make the same offer.

He watched as Nick's hand slid into hers.

He'd wanted to do that too.

"Okay?" Nick asked.

She wasn't sure if she was okay with anything at the moment.

She just wanted a room with a lock so she could rest.

She could not seem to think clearly through the pain.

Nick picked up her overnight bag.

They stepped out into the hallway and came face to face with an old lady.

"Hi Sara," said Mrs. Henry. "Are you going to come by for some coffee later?"

"I'm afraid not. I won't be home for a few days," she said.

"You look very pale, dear. Is everything alright? I knocked on your door yesterday and…"

"Did you see anyone…going or coming from my apartment?" Sara asked quickly but the old lady shook her head.

"The only person I saw was your friend here…I think it was in the elevator," smiled Mrs. Henry.

Nick and Sara glanced at Grissom.

"He's my boss," whispered Sara looking confused. Mrs. Henry disappeared into her apartment.

Grissom spoke quickly. "I was worried about you…you seemed preoccupied during shift so I came by."

"Did you… knock or call out?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"When I didn't hear anything, I was afraid you were asleep and thought it was best…I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She stood there as she struggled to make sense of the last twenty- four hours.

Her hands trembled and she hid them behind her back.

The shaking continued.

"You feel okay?" asked Nick.

She shook her head over and over.

Nick hands grabbed her arms. "You don't look well. Maybe we should get you back to the hospital."

"No...no hospital," she murmured.

Grissom stepped back into the apartment and grabbed a small throw on the couch.

He placed it around Sara.

"Nicky, pull your car up to the front of the apartment building. I'll walk her down," said Grissom.

"You'll be safe with Nick," Grissom whispered.

She nodded.

Grissom waited until they were alone.

"I need to ask you to do something very hard."

Her eyes met his.

"I need you to tell me what you fear?"

She gulped as she shook her head over and over.

He stepped toward her but she retreated.

He felt his stomach knot.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Tired…just tired," she almost cried.

He slowly helped her inside Nick's car.

"If she's not feeling better, call Doc," instructed Grissom.

Nick nodded as he drove away.

Grissom rubbed his temple.

_She's afraid of me…now…_

Catherine met Grissom as he stepped into the lab.

"The juice had traces of Rohypnol," reported Catherine.

"Did they do a toxicology on Sara while she was in the hospital?" asked Grissom.

"Yes…it also revealed Rohypnol," said Catherine as she eyed Grissom.

"You don't look well yourself," commented Catherine.

"Sara is safe with Nick," he reported.

Catherine stopped him. "We need to talk."

He shut the door to his office once Catherine was inside.

"Talk."

"I'm worried about you," she said.

"Catherine, I'm…"

"You could have been drugged," she said.

"I know," he admitted.

He pulled out a urine and blood sample from his pocket.

"I'll run this," she said as she took them. "Do you remember anything?"

"I haven't been home much…mostly staying here. I can't imagine being drugged while I was here. The few times I've been home, I've practically crashed…" he stopped as if he remembered something.

"What is it?"

"Migraine…I'd been nursing a migraine for most of a shift before going home. I took the medicine and was out immediately. It usually takes an hour or so…I just thought it was because of the exhaustion…still could have been…but there was this strange dream."

"Dream?" she asked.

"A voice…female…it sounded like…Sara…asking me what I feared."

"Did you answer?" asked Catherine.

"No."

"Do you know what Sara feared?" asked Catherine.

He shook his head.

"What do you fear?" she asked.

He scowled.

"Forget I asked. I'll let you know as soon as I get the results," she said. "I should check your prescription also."

He handed her the bottle.

"She's going to be okay," stressed Catherine.

He wasn't sure whether any of them would be okay.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

Grissom stepped into the townhouse and dropped his field kit onto the hardwood floor.

He searched the kitchen and living room first finding no hint that someone else had been in his home.

He opened the bedroom door and stared at the bed.

It was made.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in it.

He slumped on the bed and sighed.

His head hurt.

It was the making of a migraine and he winced knowing that he'd given Catherine his prescription.

He remembered a back up and quickly opened his closet searching his coat pocket for the small container he took with him when he traveled.

It was then he glanced down.

He stumbled back.

He stared at the bloodied belt lying in the back of his closet.

He covered his mouth at the implication.

There, beside the belt, were his dress shoes.

He noticed droplets of blood on the tip.

_He's playing with you, Grissom…_

Grissom carefully lifted the belt and placed it in an evidence bag.

He bagged the shoes next.

He then hurried to the bathroom where he emptied his stomach.

Grissom slumped back into the floor as he held his head in his hands.

_What do you fear, Grissom?_

"Evidence never lies," he said out loud.

A heart wrenching laugh escaped his lips.

There was a tap on his front door.

With revolver in hand, he slowly opened it.

Brass stood there.

"Is Sara here?" he asked.

"She's staying with Nick," answered Grissom.

"You feeling okay?" he asked.

"No," he admitted.

"All of the evidence is damning…for you," said Brass.

"It would appear so," said Grissom as he sat down in a chair.

"When was the last time you've eaten?" asked Brass.

"What are we going to do, Jim?"

"I doubt you have anything edible in this place. We could go to the restaurant down the street but you look pretty green right now. I'll have something delivered."

"He's getting…violent. He could have killed her!"

"He didn't. You try to keep up this pace and you won't have to worry about our mystery guy."

Grissom's head lulled back against the chair.

"Gil, you look sick," said Brass.

"I know," replied Grissom.

He was forced to lie down on the couch while Brass ordered food. He could not seem to eat much knowing that the belt which had shredded Sara's skin belonged to him.

_My belt…_

_My shoe…_

_My hair follicles…_

_My semen…_

_How the hell did that happen?_

Nick tapped on the bathroom door.

"Hey Sar, you need any help?" he offered.

"Salve," she whispered.

"Salve?"

She stared into the mirror.

She had no color and she grimaced when she turned slightly and viewed her back.

She slipped on the pajama bottoms as well as the top but then stopped when she wasn't sure how he would put the salve on her back while she was still dressed.

She stepped out of the bathroom and found him waiting for her.

"I could wait…let Catherine do this," she said.

"I promise I'll be gentle…not even look at your size 34 cup breast," he teased.

"How did you…"

He held up the bra.

She snatched it from him.

"I would expect this from Greg…not you," she retorted.

"Sorry. I noticed blood on the back of your blouse and picked it up…that fell out," he explained.

She smiled slightly as his face reddened.

"I'll need you to remove your top," he said softly.

"I would expect Greg to say that also," she said trying to make the situation light.

She slid the top off exposing her bare back.

He showed no emotion as he viewed her back.

Gently his hands placed the salve on her back.

She slipped the pajama blouse on.

She reached for her robe wrapping it tightly around her.

"Thanks Nick," she whispered.

"Get some sleep" he said as he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

He was surprised when she slept so sound.

Hours passed and she remained asleep.

Nick stretched out on the couch.

He grabbed his phone the moment it went off.

"Stokes," he said.

"Nick…how is Sara?" asked Grissom.

"She's been sleeping for hours," whispered Nick. "She was pretty worn out. She took her prescription and hasn't moved. Grissom, her back…I want this bastard to pay."

"Me too, Nicky," seethed Grissom.

Grissom leaned back on his couch.

Sleep did not come.

Hours later he was back in the lab. Warrick met him. "Are you guys going to tell us what's been going on or do Greg and I remain in the dark?"

"Come into my office," whispered Grissom.

The next few hours were spent behind closed doors.

"Sara okay?" asked Greg.

"She's going to be fine," said Grissom.

He tried to sound convincing but he wasn't sure himself.

Catherine appeared in the doorway.

"I told them," said Grissom.

"I have those results," she said.

"Come on, Greg. You and I have a 419 on the strip," announced Warrick.

"Thanks Warrick," called out Grissom.

"Keep us in the loop," replied Warrick.

Catherine stepped into the office and shut the door.

"Your urine and blood tested positive for the same drug…your migraine medicine was switched."

He nodded.

"Gil, are you alright?" she asked.

He pulled out the evidence bag. "I found this in the back of my closet."

Catherine opened the evidence bag and pulled out the bloodied belt.

"Does this belong to you?" she asked.

"Yes."

"This has got to bother you," she whispered.

There was a tap on the door just as the door swung open.

Nick and Sara stood there.

"I told her she would have to talk with you…before she could clock in," fumed Nick. "She refused to stay at my apartment."

Sara's eyes locked on the evidence bag.

"You found some additional evidence," said Sara as she reached for the bag.

Catherine started to stop her but Grissom intervened.

"I found this in my closet," he said.

Sara opened the bag and stared at the belt.

"Your belt?" she asked.

"Yes, it is."

"Nick, could you give me a hand?" asked Catherine as she grabbed Nick's arm and pulled him out of the room.

Grissom waited until they were alone to speak. "Sara…"

"I know it's not you," she breathed.

"We were both drugged," he said. "They collected the samples from me…took the belt and then…they meant to hurt you…both of us."

_They did…_

"Their scheme didn't work. I didn't file charges."

"They hurt you."

Sara refused to look in his direction.

She remembered his embrace and wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around her once more but they were in the lab.

He was her boss and she was his employee.

_What do you fear, Sara?_

"Can I work?" she asked.

She was startled when he walked over, locked the door and then closed the shades to his office.

"May I see your other wounds?" he asked.

"They're…fine," she whispered.

"Please. I need to examine your injuries."

His hands lifted the blouse exposing her abdomen.

There was bruising along her right side.

The imprint of the shoe was more noticeable.

His hands traced the outline of the shoe print.

He walked around to the side of his desk and lifted another bag taking out a pair of dress shoes.

"The belt was lying beside these shoes," he explained.

He took the shoe and compared it to the marks on her abdomen.

It was a perfect match.

"I should give these to Catherine also," he whispered.

"Why? So we can continue to play into the hands of this…monster!"

"So we can examine it for any possible trace evidence," he replied softly.

He stepped behind her and lifted her blouse in order to examine her back.

His trembling hands traced each belt mark.

The cuts were deep.

The bruising extended up and down her back.

A single tear slipped down her cheek as she felt a feathery kiss placed along her shoulder blade.

He examined her wrists next.

His eyes stared into hers.

His lips kissed the palm of each hand.

"I'm so sorry, Sara."

She stared into troubled eyes.

"I want to protect you but don't know how," he choked.

"Can I work?" she asked once again.

"In the lab."

"You need me in the field," she countered.

He sighed.

He was exhausted.

She felt him struggle with a response.

"You can go…into the field…with someone."

She stepped toward the door and opened it.

"Sara?"

She turned and looked at him.

"You said you heard a voice…did you recognize it?"

"It sounded… like yours."

His balance waivered and his hand steadied himself against the desk.

Bodies came and went as they processed the evidence and then tried to return to the one case they had spent countless hours processing and yet had little or nothing tangible to go with.

Of course there was the damning evidence against Grissom which was kept under lock and key in Catherine's desk.

Grissom ignored the eyes that followed his every move.

He angrily threw his jacket into the back of the Denali as he pulled out his field kit letting it drop onto the ground sending up a flurry of dust.

"Hey Griss," whispered Warrick. "Is everything okay?"

"No, it's not," he fumed.

"You seem on edge," said Warrick softly. "We can cover this."

"So can I!" he yelled causing Warrick to step back.

"I didn't mean anything by it," replied Warrick. "It's just you…"

"Do you want to stand here or work?" Grissom replied in a rather loud voice.

Warrick hurried off.

Brass glanced at Catherine.

They watched as Grissom entered the house.

"He's not himself," whispered Catherine.

"This guy is getting under his skin," warned Brass.

They glanced at Sara.

She'd watched the interaction and scuttled away.

"I think we're all on edge right now," breathed Catherine.

Brass glanced at her. "He's going to make a move on Grissom sooner or later."

"We know it's related to our fear….and yet we still don't know what Sara feared or what Grissom fears for that matter."

"Don't we? I think it's the fear that he can't solve this case that's so personal," said Brass.

"Well…for Grissom, that sort of makes sense."

"Do you think Sara feared…"

"Clear the scene!" yelled Grissom.

Heads shot up.

"Get out!" yelled Grissom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

Sara froze as she tried to locate Grissom.

Before she could react, strong arms were dragging her back toward the Denali.

"Not this time," said Brass. "Gil would have my ass if I let you go in there."

"What's wrong?" asked Sara.

Minutes passed and then Grissom emerged.

He sat down on the front of the house as he swiped his forehead with his sleeve.

Brass walked over.

"What…"

"I saw some string….across the floor."

"A bomb?"

He shook his head as he held up the string that contained a cat toy at the end.

"Geez!" grumbled Brass.

Grissom tried to stand but staggered toward Brass.

"That's it. You're sick," Brass fumed. "You're going home."

"I'm not sick," he said as he brushed off his friend's hand.

He made his way back up the porch stairs.

He teetered as his eyes scanned the scene for Sara.

He groaned when he felt his knees hit the porch.

"Grissom!" yelled Sara.

Warrick and Brass grabbed him under each arm and forced him to lie down onto the wooden porch.

"Stay down!" yelled Brass.

"Just give me a minute," said Grissom.

Doc appeared on the scene.

"Doc, we need your help!" yelled Brass.

"Did somebody get hurt?" asked Doc as he scrambled up the porch.

"It's Grissom. He almost passed out," reported Brass to Doc.

"Didn't pass out…just got dizzy," Grissom corrected.

"Shut up and let him examine you," said Brass.

"Doc…" he felt a wave of nausea hit him.

"Roll him. He's going to be sick," warned Doc.

Grissom retched as they held his head.

He felt cool paper towels on his forehead.

It felt soothing.

He breathed in deeply and knew it was Sara next to him.

He lay there as he felt Doc taking his pulse.

"Your pulse rate is…"

They rolled him once again as he continued to vomit.

"Any numbness?" asked Doc quickly.

Grissom shook his head.

"What's wrong?" asked Catherine.

"Nausea sometimes occurs just before numbness…heart attack," whispered Doc.

"Oh Christ," said Catherine.

"Not a heart attack," Grissom gasped.

"You're not exactly in any condition to be giving out orders," grumbled Brass.

"Not a heart attack," repeated Grissom as he sat up.

Catherine spoke up. "Grissom, you should go to a hospital and…"

Grissom put his hand up as if to interrupt the conversation but he stopped as another wave of nausea threatened.

"Blood pressure medicine," spoke up Sara.

Eyes were suddenly fixed on her.

"He's always checking his pulse," she explained.

"His blood pressure is up…are you on blood pressure medicine?" asked Doc.

Grissom nodded.

Grissom rattled off the dosage.

"Blood pressure would certainly cause the dizziness," said Doc.

"I'm just…run down," admitted Grissom as he tried to stand but hands pushed him back down.

"It doesn't explain the nausea," said Sara.

"The nausea is because of a very greasy dinner with Jim!" explained Grissom.

Brass frowned. "I didn't get sick."

"Just back off and let me get back to…"

He stood throwing off the hands but within one step he felt himself falling.

"That's it. If he doesn't stay down, I'll shoot him," griped Brass.

Warrick and Nick forced Grissom back on the porch.

He sat there trying to get his bearings.

"We need to clear this crime scene," gasped Grissom.

"We will," said Catherine. "You're going home. Argue with me and I'll call Ecklie."

"Catherine…" He stopped the moment Sara's hand rested on his wrist.

"It's in the triple digits," she breathed. "Going for a record?"

"I'll sit here if the rest of you will go back to work," grumbled Grissom.

Warrick and Nick glanced at Brass.

"If he tries to get up, I'll draw my weapon," said Brass.

"I'll go take care of the bodies," grumbled Doc. "Call me if he becomes one."

Grissom frowned.

Sara glanced toward the house but could not seem to force herself to leave Grissom's side.

"You're not doing anyone any good by working when you're sick," whispered Brass.

"I could take you home," offered Sara.

Grissom eyed her.

Despite the apparent sleep she'd gotten, she seemed tired.

"Go. You both could use a night off," urged Brass.

"I can drive myself," he said quietly.

Sara's eyes dropped to the ground.

Grissom's hand slowly covered hers as it rested on his knee. "You don't have to…"

Sara stopped him. "Let me do this, please," she begged.

Brass glared at Grissom.

He sighed.

He knew Brass would haul his ass to the vehicle if he attempted to stay.

"If they get buried, call me," he said. "I just need a few hours."

Brass did not hesitate as he helped Grissom to his feet but Grissom shrugged off his hand.

Sara walked closely by his side as they made their way to Sara's vehicle.

Both were silent as Sara drove toward the townhouse.

Grissom glanced in the back seat and noticed Sara's overnight bag.

"You weren't planning on staying at Nick's?" he asked.

"I wasn't sure," she said. "I decided to just bring my things in case…I don't know."

It seemed odd to Grissom but he let it go.

Once they arrived, Grissom stepped out of the vehicle but Sara swiftly moved to his side.

He unlocked the door and waited until she entered.

She hesitated a moment but slipped inside the house.

"Want something to drink?" he offered as he headed to the kitchen.

"You should take your blood pressure medicine," she said softly.

"I will…thank you," he replied softly. "A drink?"

"Juice?"

They both stood at the counter.

She'd glanced around a time or two as he tried to get the up the courage to invite her to spend the night.

"I should be going," she said as she finished the juice.

"Stay," he said almost pleading.

She was shocked by the offer.

Any other time she would have jumped at the offer but her mind told her he was doing it out of remorse.

_He feels responsible for what happened to me…_

_It wasn't his fault…_

"I've changed the locks as well as the pass code…it's safe…here," he added quickly when she hesitated with her reply.

"I shouldn't," she said as she started toward the door.

"Why not?" he asked.

"You're my boss and I don't think personnel would like it if an employee spent the night with her…boss."

"Is that the real reason…you don't want to stay?" he asked.

"That…should be reason enough," she replied.

"What do you fear, Sara?"

The glass almost slipped from her hands.

He grabbed it.

"I'm sorry. I need to go," she blurted out as she headed toward the door but he blocked her.

"Sara, wait!"

She stopped but she could not bring herself to face him.

"Sara, please…can we talk?" he whispered.

Her skin tingled from the mere close proximity of his body to hers.

"It's late…you should…"

His hands gently turned her around.

"I would never hurt you," he whispered.

"I know that," she replied.

"Are you afraid to be here with me?"

"Like I said personnel…"

"Stay…with me. Please."

"I …"

His hands dropped to his side. "I'm sorry. You don't have to stay. I just…"

Both were quiet for a moment.

"I'll walk you to your car," he said.

She stood there at the car as she eyed him.

Despite his best efforts, she knew he was still ill.

She pulled out her keys and he started to turn back toward the front door when she opened the passenger side door and removed her overnight bag.

He smiled as he tried to take it from her but she insisted on carrying it.

Once inside, he took her to the guest room.

The walls were lined with book shelves.

The bed seemed out of place as if the room was once a study but had been converted back to a bedroom.

"I hope you don't mind it's a twin bed," he said. "My mother uses this room when she visits."

Sara glanced at the books on the shelves.

"They're Botany books," she said out loud without thinking.

"They belonged to my father," he explained. "My mother finds it comforting to be surrounded by his books when she comes here."

"Does she visit often?" she asked, hoping that he would share more.

"No. She says I remind her of…him. I think it's painful for her so she doesn't come here often. I keep the study just like he did…except for the bed. It makes her feel…less fearful of being in the hearing world…and being here with me."

"I'm sorry. Did he recently pass away?" she asked.

"He died when I was nine years old…heart attack."

"My father died when I was ten…but then you know that."

He smiled sadly.

"We both grew up without a family," he said.

"You had your mother. Mine was in a psychiatric facility while I grew up in Foster Care."

"My mother never got over the loss of my father. She shut herself off from the world while I tried to live in it."

She did not know how to respond.

It was more than they had shared in months.

"Sara…you …you're safe…night," he said as he disappeared.

"Night," she whispered.

She changed into pajamas but she could not bring herself to sleep.

She was tired but she felt the fear envelope her and knew she had made a mistake by staying.

Her fingers traveled across the shelves of books.

Despite the ability to fall asleep at Nick's she'd awaken in a cold sweat as he tried to calm her screams.

She'd bolted the first time he touched her as she tried to free herself from the imaginary ropes.

_Hey, Griss. Can you come tie me up?"_

She laughed through the tears.

It had been a seductive memory.

She remembered how the feel of his hands on her skin tingled as he'd tied the ropes around her wrists.

The beating now marred her favorite memory of the first year she had come to Vegas.

"_I told you to clear the scene."_

"_You're not like her."_

"_She likes to be tied."_

"_She likes when I take my belt and…"_

"Stop it, Sara! Those memories aren't real," she whispered out loud.

She leaned back and winced from the pain.

Her back still hurt as well as her bruised ribs.

She rolled over and noticed a soft light was coming from his room.

She listened intently but heard no sound.

She slipped out of the covers and grabbed her house coat as she walked quietly to the door.

She peered into his room and saw that he was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Griss?"

He ignored her as he sat there staring at his hands.

"Grissom, are you okay?" she asked.

He turned slightly and she shuddered when she saw that he'd been crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked quickly as she knelt in front of him.

"I told you to clear the scene."

She gulped.

"You're not….like her."

"Grissom…"

"She likes….God, Sara, I think I hurt you."

"No! You didn't," she said as she cursed at the way her voice sounded pathetic and weak.

"I keep hearing myself…say these things…then…the sound of…the belt…on skin…your skin."

His breathing came in gasps as he tried to control his emotions.

"No! It wasn't you. You wouldn't hurt me."

His hands trembled.

They were soon held by her trembling hands.

"My belt…my shoes…my memories."

He looked at her. "You said you heard a voice…like mine. What did it say?"

She didn't want to tell him.

Her hand caressed his cheek as she tried to determine if he had a fever.

"What do you remember?" he asked.

"You're exhausted…we both are. We just need to sleep," she said as she tried to get him to lie down but he refused.

"I can't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep since this happened to you," he admitted.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Dreams," he said.

She ventured closer.

"Dreams or…nightmares?" she asked.

He didn't have to answer for her to understand.

"I have them too," she breathed.

"About…the beating?" he asked.

She nodded.

He nodded.

"What do you dream?" she asked.

"I hear this voice…it's yours…I hear muffled crying and I realized…it's me."

"Do you know…why?"

"It's what I fear," he whispered.

She glanced around as if someone might be listening.

She would not let herself ask him anything further about the dream.

"Why are you not sleeping?" he asked.

"Because I'm afraid I'll wake to the sound of myself screaming…I think I scared Nick as well as his neighbors."

"I'm sorry, Sara."

Her hands now rested on his thighs as she continued to kneel there in front of him.

"You should fear me," he whispered. "I'm not sure I didn't…"

Her lips touched his and he reacted immediately.

His mouth opened and his tongue sought hers.

He pulled her into his arms as his mouth devoured hers.

He slipped the top over her head as his lips left hers and settled on her breast.

"Griss…"

"Sara," the sound of her name on his lips was like a sweet caress.

She felt herself being lifted and then with one yank her bottoms were removed.

She lay there on his bed as his eyes roamed over her body.

He leaned down and tenderly kissed each bruise.

Her hands fumbled with his shirt and it disappeared along with the rest of his clothing.

His body now covered hers.

_What do you fear, Sara?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

She felt his body press into hers and while the injuries to her back reminded her of the beating she arched into him, giving herself fully to him and he took her.

She adjusted to the feel of him inside her as his thrusts became rhythmic and she followed each move.

An explosion of emotions and colors rushed through her mind as she climaxed.

He followed but continued to hold himself inside her.

His body stiffened and her eyes shot open to see the fear in his eyes.

"Griss?" she whispered.

"What have I done?" he asked.

Reality slammed into the moment of bliss and the pain of her injuries screamed for attention.

"I uhm…"

His hands pinned her wrists to the bed.

She glanced from side to side.

"You knocked over the lamp trying to get away. The rope…was double knotted…to the bed posts."

A single tear dropped onto her bare skin.

It belonged to him.

"I'm right…aren't I?" he choked.

She shook her head.

"I can ask Brass….he found you."

"You wouldn't hurt me," she insisted.

His head dropped beside hers and he released her hands.

She immediately held him ignoring the excruciating pain from her back.

Suddenly he jerked away from her.

"Your back," he whispered. "I forgot…I didn't even think…"

"Gil, stop," she said.

She pulled his head down and kissed him fully on the lips.

She curled her body up next to his and he held her tight.

"Does that hurt?" he asked.

"No," she lied as she let him hold her as they fell asleep.

The dreams did not come as the hours passed.

It was when she rolled that she felt the full extent of her soreness as she moaned softly.

Grissom sat up as she rolled once again resting her head in his lap.

His hand gently stroked her hair.

He waited until she was fully asleep once more before his hand observed the marks on her back.

He grimaced at the swollen lacerations.

Dried blood was smeared across her back.

He leaned back, closing his eyes not noticing she was now awake.

"Grissom?"

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked.

She rose gingerly as she sat beside him.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"I should ask you. Your back is worse," he said.

"I haven't been using the salve…I don't like anyone to see it," she said.

"I'll do it," he offered.

She smiled.

"Sara, do you trust me?" he whispered.

"Yes."

"There's something I need to do. Will you help me?" he asked.

Her reply came quickly and without hesitation.

He kissed the palm of her hand.

"I should….go. You still have a few hours before shift," she said as she moved to the edge of the bed. "When do you want to…"

He silenced her with a kiss.

He stepped out of the bed and she followed.

She was not prepared to be pulled into the bathroom. "Shower. The warm water will help."

She glanced into the shower and noticed her shampoo and conditioner were already sitting in the stall.

She did not know when he had placed them there but she turned on the water and stepped in.

She stood there letting the water pour down her back.

She glanced back and he had disappeared.

She leaned forward as she closed her eyes.

The water felt good on her back as she stretched trying to ease the soreness.

She wondered what Grissom needed her for but she didn't care.

He had finally let her in.

The thought that he had only done it out of guilt nagged at her.

She knew it was not his fault that they had fallen prey to Conner's accomplice.

Images of the shooting flashed before her.

She never thought she could kill another human being but she had not hesitated that night when Grissom's life was at stake.

Slowly, the shower door opened and she turned to find him standing there.

"Sorry, I had to make a few phone calls," he whispered.

He picked up the sponge and began washing her. "Do your ribs hurt?"

She shook her head.

He knew it was a lie.

His hand kneaded her breast and she gasped.

"Pain or…"

"Feels good," she moaned.

"Pain with pleasure can be…dangerous," he whispered. "I don't want to hurt you, Sara."

"You won't," she urged as his hand slid down her midsection.

He caressed the bruised area as his lips tasted hers.

Her hand nudged him closer.

His eyes were sparkling as he kissed her shoulder blade.

Her hand drifted down and he gasped from the feel of her hand.

He lifted her leg and positioned himself.

"You can say stop," he whispered.

"Don't…stop," she moaned and he entered her slowly, letting her body adjust to the new position.

She stepped back, leaning against the shower wall but he pulled her back.

"Your back," he warned.

"It's fine," she pleaded.

He thrust once or twice, taking note of her pain and withdrew.

She groaned from the rejection.

He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

Before she could react, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the bed.

He lay down but she did not give him time to be the aggressor.

Her hands forced him completely on his back.

She straddled his midsection, enclosing herself around him immediately, causing both to moan.

She eased herself from his erection and he slammed her back down with force.

She felt him sink deep inside her as she continued until both climaxed.

She collapsed onto his chest and he held her, being mindful of her back.

"Better?" he whispered.

"Yes."

He made love to her more slowly as he learned every inch of her body.

Her hands glided up and down his body and he rewarded every touch with a kiss.

Later they showered, this time each taking a turn.

He carefully placed the salve on the cuts and bandaged one or two places.

They snacked on sandwiches as she observed his every action.

"I'm better," he noted.

"You're quiet," she said.

"I called in for both of us," he said. "They won't expect us in tonight."

"But…I don't mind," she said.

"Why do you think it is Conner?" he asked.

"He stayed one step ahead of us. He terrorized his victims…with their fears," she breathed.

"Why haven't we found his accomplice?" he asked.

"Maybe…the accomplice was really the mastermind…while Conner was the accomplice…the fall guy in case they got caught."

"Why would someone willingly be caught…take the fall?" he asked rubbing his temple.

"Maybe Conner idolized him," she whispered.

"Why not a woman?" he asked.

"I don't think it's a woman," she said.

"Just a hunch?"

"Our bodies…were moved…not sure a woman could accomplish that," she said.

"There's still the evidence…that leads to me," he said.

"It wasn't you."

"How do you know?" he asked, locking blue eyes with brown.

"You wouldn't do that," she stated.

"I could."

"I don't believe that."

"I was right about the…details."

"You talked with Brass?"

"I didn't have to. Your eyes gave you away."

She looked away but replied, "You could have been fed that information in a hypnotic state."

"I could have…beaten you in a hypnotic state."

"What else do you think you remember?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"You refused to say the safety word."

Her fingers grasped the chair as she sat across from him at the table.

"What do you remember?" he asked.

"What was the safety word?" she asked ignoring his question.

"Sara…" he didn't finish.

He winced from the pain in his head.

"You should lie down," she said.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Yes."

"We need to go."

He reached for the keys.

"Maybe I should drive," she offered.

"You don't know where we're going," he replied.

He slid behind the wheel as she took the passenger side.

"Conner was very meticulous…but I think he had someone giving him orders," explained Grissom.

"Do you know who that person might be?" she asked quickly.

"No."

Silence ensued.

"This person likes to control…hide things. Perhaps he hid something that we could find," said Grissom as he drove.

"Are we going back to one of the murder locations?" she asked.

"I'm going to some place that might give us some light into what we are dealing with."

"You know someone else who studies psychopaths?" she asked.

"I know someone who deals in control as well as possessive and passive behavior."

"Have you discussed this…with Brass or the others?" she asked trying to control the shaking in her voice.

"I discussed it…with you. This whole thing revolves around us."

"I killed Conner."

"In order to protect me."

"You think they wanted to punish us by framing the others and then…why not just go after us?"

"He wanted to play with us."

Grissom pulled into the driveway of the mansion.

Sara eyed the entrance.

"Grissom…"

He was already stepping out of the vehicle and soon he was opening her door.

"Grissom, this is…Lady Heather's…"

"She's expecting us," he said as he took her hand and guided her around to the side of the mansion.

He tapped lightly on the veranda door and Heather opened it.

"Grissom," smiled Heather as she purposely embraced him fully in front of Sara.

"This must be…Sara," she purred.

They stepped into the room and Sara watched as Heather shut the door.

"We have a lot to do," she said. "They are few here in the dominion tonight. I chose a more secluded area to work anyway."

"Work?" asked Sara.

Grissom's fingers caressed her hand.

Heather grinned. "You know the room anyway. Just go through the door and to the left."

Grissom led Sara into another part of the house.

Once inside, Sara flipped on a light switch which barely lit up the darkened room.

Sara trembled when she heard Heather shut the door and then lock it.

Sara glanced at Grissom.

"That's my…bed."

"Not exactly," said Heather. I took the liberty of obtaining the same bedding…along with the lamp. The ropes…we'll have to compromise. May I see?"

Sara looked confused.

"Show her your wrists," instructed Grissom.

"Griss…""

She felt his hands displaying her wrists.

"Probably a nylon rope," she said. "Correct?"

"Correct," he said.

She smiled. "I have some."

Heather walked over to the dresser and pulled out the nylon rope.

She handed it to Grissom.

"May I see your back?" she asked.

Grissom lifted Sara's back before she could respond.

"Leather belt…nice quality…one inch in diameter…the belt you often wear with your suit?"

"I have two…yes."

"This was done out of anger…punishing strokes," observed Heather.

Sara stepped away from her.

"I have some salve…that is less likely to prevent scarring," she said.

"There is a shoe print," Grissom said as he collected Sara once more for observation.

"This isn't necessary," Sara breathed.

"It is if you want to recreate the events," Heather explained. "The shoeprint…dress shoes?"

"Yes," said Grissom.

Heather lifted Sara's blouse despite Sara's objections.

"This…was caused when…" Heather stopped as she turned Sara around to observe her back once more. "See these two bruises near her shoulder? The punisher stomped on her chest causing her shoulders to hit the solid floor underneath her."

"The bedroom has carpet," said Grissom.

"She probably bruises easily."

Sara bit down on her lower lip as she refused to say anything further.

"Are you ready to begin?" asked Heather.

"Yes," replied Grissom despite the shaking of Sara's head.

"If Sara will change into this," instructed Heather.

Heather turned and Sara stared at a replica of her gown.

"I'm not putting this on," Sara said as she bolted for the door but her hand remained in his.

"Sara…you said you trusted me."

"We don't need to do this," she said.

"You can change in the bathroom," he said as he opened the adjoining door.

Heather kept her back to them as she busied herself with one of the monitors that displayed the other rooms in the dominion.

"I'll wait for you," said Grissom as he ushered her inside.

She shut the bath room door and leaned against it.

"This isn't happening," she whispered.

"She's frightened," whispered Heather. "That will help."

"Safety word," breathed Grissom.

"Of course," purred Heather. "How did you ever get her to agree to come here?"

Grissom did not reply as he tapped on the bath room door.

"Sara?"

She stepped out of the bathroom and stood there in the night gown.

"Good. Let's get started," said Heather.

"Grissom, you may tie her to the bed," instructed Heather.

"Wait…."

Grissom gently placed the ropes around her wrist.

"Don't resist…Sara. It will hurt if you resist," he whispered as his lips kissed her on the forehead.

He turned her so that she faced the bed.

"Lie down," he whispered.

"Grissom, I don't want…"

His body molded to hers as his arms enveloped her.

She leaned back feeling the warmth of his body.

His lips softly kissed her on the cheek as he whispered into her ear. "You just have to say the safety word."

"Safety word?" she asked.

In one swift movement, he nudged the back of her knees and she fell down on the bed.

He quickly tied each hand to the bed.

"Grissom, I don't know the safety word," Sara pleaded.

"Why were you angry with her?" asked Heather.

"She didn't follow my instructions," replied Grissom. "She didn't leave the house."

"I didn't listen to Catherine," corrected Sara.

Heather opened the closet as Sara tilted her head in order to see.

She gulped when Lady Heather pulled out a belt.

"You may proceed. Try to keep to the script…as well as the actions."

Grissom took the belt.

Sara jumped as he made it crack.

"She's always been high spirited," he whispered as he leaned forward letting the belt glide down her back.

"You've always wanted her…haven't you?" purred Heather.

"Yes, I have."

"You can take her now. She'll have to submit to you."

"Grissom, stop. I want this to stop," Sara pleaded.

"That is not the safety word, Sara," whispered Grissom as he lifted the belt and aimed it at her back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

Sara glanced into the mirror as she saw his arm drawn back ready to strike at her.

"Don't!" Sara yelled.

"Do it," instructed Heather.

Grissom's arm flew back and Sara braced herself for the pain.

She heard the crack of the belt once again but there was no pain.

"Again," said Heather.

Grissom repeated the same action.

Sara's head lifted from the pillow.

With each strike the end of the belt landed in Heather's gloved hand.

"That would have brought blood…but not hard enough," said Heather. "Again. This time, I'll let it strike her."

Grissom raised his arm.

Sara was horrified as Heather stepped back.

"You may proceed…try not to hurt her too much…you want this to last," purred Heather.

Sara jerked on the ropes as she cried out from the pain of feeling the rope cut into her injured wrists.

Grissom flinched when he saw her in pain.

He glanced at Heather but she shook her head.

"What do you fear, Sara?" asked Grissom quickly.

She struggled with the ropes once more.

"He's to your side, Sara. You could kick him," replied Heather acting as if she were bored.

"Grissom, stop!" pleaded Sara.

"Kick him," instructed Heather. "…Unless you don't want to hurt him. He's going to hurt you."

"Make him stop. He doesn't know what he's doing," cried Sara.

"He's going to punish you…with the belt. Weren't you ever punished with a belt?" asked Heather.

Sara jerked on the ropes.

Grissom glanced nervously at Heather.

"Beat her," instructed Heather.

Sara was horrified when she saw Grissom poised to strike her.

She shook her head as she gulped down a sob.

"What is the safety word?" asked Grissom.

"I don't know!" she yelled. "You didn't tell me."

"You figured it out that night," said Grissom. "I beat you until you said…"

"Conner!

Grissom gulped down his own sob.

"What do you fear, Sara?" he asked.

"You know," she wept.

"What do you fear?"

"That I'll destroy your career…because I'm not worth the risk."

Grissom threw the belt onto the floor as Sara lay there sobbing.

"Leave us alone," whispered Grissom.

He released her wrists immediately and she scrambled to a corner of the room.

"Sara…"

"Stay away from me!"

He flinched. "Do you fear me?" he whispered.

"Yes! You bring me to her dominion…a place you seem to know your way around…you…you give her details of my bedroom…my clothing…then you…do this!"

"It was the only way we felt we could get you to remember."

"I don't want to remember!"

"I know," he said softly.

He knelt down beside her. "You saw the person in the mirror. You refused to strike back. Why Sara? Who did you see?"

"I saw you!" she wailed brokenly.

It was as if she had struck him.

He flinched from the words as his suspicions became reality.

"I did that to you," he said as his hand glided down her back.

Sara hid her face in her knees as she sobbed.

"You hurt your wrists again…I'd hope you wouldn't struggle," he whispered.

He attempted to examine them but she recoiled.

He tried to keep his emotions in check as he watched her scoot further into the corner away from him.

"We tried hypnosis but since it didn't work on me, we decided to do this…your fear was the key," he tried to explain as she cried softly.

"Heather would not have let me hurt you…with the belt," he said. His trembling hands reached out and cupped her face. "I'm so sorry I had to do this, honey. I didn't think there was any other way. By the injuries on your wrists, we knew you were semiconscious. You would have seen…the person through the mirror."

He waited to let the information sink in before he continued.

"Sara, I remember fragments…the belt, the anger, hearing your pain…your voice."

She shook her head.

"You remember that also," he urged.

"No! I only remember seeing you…I heard your voice…your pain."

"My pain?" he agonized.

"You…were crying."

"I don't know if you can forgive me…but I'm so sorry I hurt you. I've never wanted to hurt you. I don't know how I could have…" his voice cracked as his own tears streamed down his face.

"You were drugged!"

"But…I did this," he cried. "I hurt the only person I've ever…loved. How could I do that? I'll got to turn myself in."

He was surprised when she grabbed him.

"No!"

"Sara, I'm responsible for my actions."

She shook her head as he pulled out his cell phone.

She snatched it out of his hand.

"I'm not pressing charges," she shrieked.

"I am."

"You can't do that!"

"I'll tell the D.A. and let them decide."

"I'll…say it was consensual."

"A beating? I'm not sure what else…I did."

"You can't be charged!"

"It's just your fear that's talking, Sara."

She struggled to make sense out of the mess.

"You didn't…rape me."

"I've gone over your medical records…even with Doc. There's nothing to substantiate…a rape but…I remember the feel of your body…when I made love to you earlier…it wasn't the first time. I remember…"

Sara covered her ears with her hands. "Stop! Stop! Please, just stop."

"You're hurting…by not knowing…I can't live with this guilt. I have to do this…for you as well as myself."

"Listen to me! I never would have rejected you…no matter what. It's not what...you think. Your hands have always been gentle…never hurtful. You wouldn't have…you were drugged."

"Say it, Sara. I beat you."

She shook her head.

"Say it!"

"No!" she sobbed. "That wasn't you. That wasn't you! That wasn't…"

He held her as she cried in his arms.

He hushed her as he stroked her hair, soothing her with a kiss or an endearment.

Slowly, the sobs ended.

"I want to leave," she whispered.

Grissom pulled her up.

"I want…you," she sobbed. "I've always wanted you."

She fell into his arms as he held her.

His hand stroked her hair as he feverishly kissed her.

"I wish I could make the pain go away. Every time I see the marks, I'm reminded of how much I hurt you."

She pulled back. "Is that why you…we…"

"No! Sara! I've always wanted you…I'm so sorry…"

"Stop saying that!"

Her fists came crashing down on his chest.

"I love you, Sara," he cried. "I can't believe I would ever hurt you."

"You didn't," she insisted.

"But…the evidence…doesn't lie."

"I don't believe the evidence," she said as she stood on wobbly knees.

She glanced around the room. "I don't want to be here anymore," she cried.

"Change and then I'll take you where ever you want to go," he said.

He drove as she sat there trying to calm her nerves.

"I could take you to Nick's," he offered.

"Can I go home…with you?" she whispered.

His hand grabbed hers and he kissed it.

They both trembled.

Once home, he slumped down on the couch.

She glanced at him once or twice.

"You have questions. Ask," he said as he leaned back and closed his eyes to stave off the pain in his head.

"Do you go there often…to the dominion?" she asked.

"I've been there on a few cases. Heather has had her share of problems with the law but…she's also a friend….a trusted friend. I'm not into dominance or submissive role playing….at least not there."

Her eyes flashed briefly at him but her mind was busy with other questions.

"Have you and Heather ever…"

"Did you sleep with Hank?"

"That was before…"

Dark blue eyes stared at her.

She averted her eyes back to the floor.

She cringed when she realized he'd just managed to get her to admit how far her relationship with Hank had gone.

She'd never loved Hank but yet she'd given her body to him when she thought that any hope with Grissom was lost.

There was hope.

They'd become lovers in just a few short hours.

She turned to observe him.

"Griss?"

"Hmmm?"

"Head hurts?"

He nodded.

She helped him to the bed.

"Medicine…in the kitchen," he groaned. "New prescription."

She sat there as he drifted in and out.

"You should call Jim," he said.

"Shut up," she muttered.

She curled up beside him as she tried to forget the night's events.

Little was said the next morning.

She felt him lift her hand and tried not to react to the feathery kisses that were placed on her wrists.

His chest heaved as he lay there clutching her tightly to him.

"In a few weeks, the bruises and cuts will be gone," she whispered.

"Will it?" he choked. "I can still see how frightened you were when I raised the belt to…"

"You didn't…hit me."

"Sara, when are you going to admit…"

She hushed him with her lips.

He returned the kiss as he slightly pulled back but she advanced.

Her lips kissed each cheek and then returned to his lips as she deepened the kiss.

His hands took hold of her face as he matched her longing.

"Make love to me," she whispered.

"I do…love you," he managed to get out.

"Then show me," she said as she slipped off her blouse and threw it on the floor.

The bra soon was discarded as his eyes gazed at the green and purplish color to her bruised ribs.

Her hand caught his chin and redirected his gaze.

"I trust you," she said as she removed the last bit of clothing.

She tugged on his boxers, removing them as her hands stroked him.

He'd been ready for her ever since she kissed him.

She mounted him easily and she moaned when she saw him disappear inside her.

He was still, not willing to move but she continued to take the lead in the lovemaking.

She slowly began rocking back and forth.

His own moan escaped his lips as she slowly built up the rhythm until he was joining her.

He waited until he felt her release before plunging one last time and then filled her.

Sara collapsed into his arms as she kissed the wetness from his face.

"Love not pain," she whispered.

"What if…"

She pulled his hands up for him to see.

"These hands are gentle…kind…loving," she cried.

"I don't know…who…I am…anymore," he whispered.

"You're still the same person," she replied. "Except…you're my lover."

They spent the next several hours in bed as she tried to convince him over and over that she was right.

Note from author:

I'm glad most survived chapter 10....yeah...it was different...but then so is this story....be nice and leave a review.

Take care!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

He wanted to kiss her once more but they now stood in front of the lab.

He nervously looked around, hoping to take her hand but there was no privacy.

She smiled at him as she opened the door and stepped inside.

She headed toward the locker room as he picked up his messages and then the assignments.

"Hey, Grissom!" called Catherine.

He turned.

"You feeling better?" she asked.

"I am," he said.

"I heard Sara stayed with you," whispered Catherine.

"She did."

"Nick talked with her earlier. She seemed better," said Catherine.

"She is."

Catherine frowned. "Are you going to continue to reply with just two words?"

"I might," he said with a grin.

She chuckled. She'd not seen a grin or smile from her friend in weeks.

"She should stay over more often," whispered Catherine.

"I will," whispered Sara as she joined them.

Grissom blushed as she strolled right past them.

"You've got to give me details," clucked Catherine.

"You wish," he replied as he stepped into the break room.

Catherine gawked.

Grissom chuckled causing the others to turn their heads.

"Got coffee?" he asked.

"Sara just got the last cup," whined Greg.

Sara pursed her lips to the cup as she took a sip.

He watched with fascination as she savored the taste.

"Not nice," he said.

"I'll share," offered Sara.

All eyes turned to Grissom.

He purposely strolled over and took the cup from her hand.

Catherine's jaw dropped as he took a sip.

"Thank you," he said with a smile as he returned the cup.

Sara stood there speechless.

She had meant it as a tease and was not prepared for him to act so boldly in front of the others.

Nick grinned at Warrick.

Catherine continued to stare as Greg sighed. "I'm not sharing mine…but I'll make some more."

"Thanks, Greg."

Grissom took a seat and began sifting through the assignments.

"Nick, burglary."

"Warrick, 419."

"Catherine assist."

"Sara, lab."

"Greg, too."

Grissom walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee. He turned as the others just sat there.

"Be safe," he called as he strolled out of the break room.

"You said you were going to give him a pep talk…that was some pep talk," teased Nick.

Sara smiled. "It was."

She grabbed Greg. "We have evidence to go over."

Greg sighed as he stared at the evidence from the previous serial cases.

"I think I can recognize this stuff blindfolded," said Greg.

"Good cause we're going to see this stuff with fresh eyes."

"Mine are still tired."

He glanced at her as she smiled.

"You seem perky," he observed.

"I got sleep," she said.

"Alone or with a certain entomologist?" he quipped.

"Focus on the evidence," she said with a grin.

"I am. You're acting like… Grissom. He's not been…happy in a long time. Neither have you."

"Evidence, Greg," she said more forcefully.

"Fine. Fine. Fine. I can take a hint."

He glanced over at her.

"You so got laid," he whispered.

Sara blushed as her hand reached over and whacked him in the back of the head.

Greg chuckled. "It was worth it."

"What was worth it?" asked Grissom as he joined them.

"The sexual harassment," announced Greg. "Sara can't keep her hands off me tonight."

Grissom gawked at Sara.

Sara glared at Greg.

"Which case?" asked Grissom.

"Barnes case," said Sara.

Grissom stared at the evidence displayed on the table.

He picked up the written report and glanced through it.

"Melanie Barnes…took an entomology course…on line," he announced.

Sara furrowed her eye brows.

"I don't remember reading that," she said.

"It must be in the report," said Grissom.

Greg glanced at Sara.

"No, it's not," he said.

"Maybe I've gotten the details mixed up with another case," said Grissom in an odd voice.

"Sure," spoke up Sara.

They continued sifting through the evidence. After three hours, they pulled out the next case.

"Harper case," announced Greg. "This one was strange."

_Her brother was involved in an arson case last year _thought Grissom.

Grissom sifted through the report.

_How did I know that?_

By the end of the shift, they had gotten through two of the cases once again.

Grissom opened the next box.

"Griss?"

He turned to look at Sara.

"Shift is over," she said.

"I'm going to go through them one more," he said.

She glanced around.

"I'm going back to my apartment," she whispered.

He froze.

"Don't!"

"Why not?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," he admitted sounding rather tired and frustrated.

"We've gone over these cases…there's nothing…"

"Then we'll find nothing again," he retorted.

"Come home….with me," she offered.

He shook his head. "I can't…go there."

His hands pressed against the lay out table. "Stay at the townhouse…please. I'll be there soon."

"I'll wait. I can help…"

He closed his eyes trying to find the right words.

He felt her hand on his cheek.

"You need to this alone…I get it. I'll see you there…later," she said as she turned to leave.

Grissom glanced around briefly as he grabbed her tight against him.

"Make some coffee when you get there," he teased.

"Plan on staying up awhile?" she grinned.

His smile faded.

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you when I get there."

He poured out the evidence from the box and was grateful when he looked up to find her gone.

It felt strange being in the townhouse alone.

She entered the pass code and then locked it behind her.

The sound of the alarm sent shivers down her back.

She drank some juice as she wandered throughout the house.

He'd given her a tour but now, she took the time to pick up a trinket and examine it.

Her fingers ran across the shadow box containing the collection of butterfly specimens and she wondered if he'd caught each of them.

Their wings were pinned in place.

It was as if she could open the box, remove the pins and they would simply fly away.

She moved on.

She stepped into his private study which was far different than the guest room.

This study contained Grissom's collection of Entomology books as well as quite an extensive collection of well known authors.

She imagined him sitting at his desk with book in hand.

His glasses would be perched on his nose as his blue eyes scanned the pages.

She smiled at the thought.

She'd observed him before when he was engulfed in a book.

His eyes always seemed to twinkle when he read.

A particular book caught her eye. It was covered underneath several pieces of paper on his desk.

She gently lifted it.

"The Psychosis of a Serial Killer," she said out loud.

She opened the book and noticed several passages had been marked with notations in the margins.

"There is a theory of split psychosis in which the mind has splintered. One personality seeks and thrives on deviant behavior while the other seeks justice and feels deep remorse for any wrongdoing. This type of serial killer is the most dangerous since he is found to be of superior intelligence but is unable to form lasting relationships with others. He is often a recluse but highly regarded in his field. He is socially inept in forming lasting relationships with the opposite sex and…."

She glanced up when she heard the click of the lock.

She quickly replaced the book and stood there waiting for him.

He stepped into the house and was startled to find her still awake.

"I couldn't sleep," she explained.

He dropped his keys onto the counter without a word as he stood there.

"Griss, is something wrong?" she asked.

He stood there, not saying a word.

"Are you hungry? I could make…"

He shook his head.

"Did you find…anything in the cases?" she asked.

"Not in the cases," he said in a cryptic tone.

"Look, let's just leave work…out there." She grabbed his hand and he pulled her to him.

She became frightened when she felt him tremble.

Her fingers slipped around to take his pulse but he quickly pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"No need. Triple digits," he managed to get out.

"Your medicine…I'll get it."

He nodded.

She dropped the pill into his shaking hand.

Her eyes searched his.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He swallowed the pill with a glass of water.

His hand wiped his forehead.

"These cases…"

"These cases need to be transferred to new eyes….maybe swing or first shift. We need to let this go," she said almost pleading.

"I can't," he said.

"You've become obsessed with it. We all have. This is consuming us. We need to step back…let someone else view the case files…hell, we don't even know if we're looking in the right direction."

"Everything that's happened to us…you said it felt like Conner."

"I changed my mind," she lied.

He shook his head. "It's related to the serial cases…it feels like Conner…because of the previous cases."

She molded her body against his.

"I don't care. I'm worried….about you."

"Sara…"

"You look tired. It's only a few hours before shift. Come and lie down…just sleep."

His mind was racing as he tried to focus on what he'd discovered but he felt off balance, far worse than before.

There was a tap on the door and he glanced at her.

"It's Jim," he whispered. "I asked him to come by…so I could tell him…about…what I did to you."

She grabbed his arm. "No!"

"Sara, I can't do this. I can't pretend I didn't…the others are innocent…I'm guilty…of so much more."

His voice trailed off at the end as he walked toward the door.

Sara blocked him.

"Don't do this," she begged.

He kissed her lightly as he opened the door.

"You haven't gotten any sleep," observed Brass ignoring the fact that Sara was there.

"Want some coffee?" offered Grissom.

"Only if it's potent," quipped Brass.

"Sara, could you make us some coffee?" he asked.

She hesitated a moment but began preparing the coffee as she strained her ears to hear the conversation.

"Glad to see her here," whispered Brass. "You don't look so hot."

"I wanted to talk with you…"

"Gil!"

Brass caught him as he stumbled. Sara rushed to Grissom's other side.

"Let's get him to the couch," said Brass.

Once he was settled, Sara quickly grabbed his wrist.

"Sara…"

"Shut up," she warned as she took his pulse.

"I wouldn't mess with her," said Brass.

Sara glanced at Brass as she shook her head.

"He has a portable blood pressure kit in the bathroom," said Brass.

Grissom scowled.

Another threat was given when he balked at having his pressure taken.

She fumed. "It's high."

"I've been taking my medicine," he said in defense.

"The medicine is not working," said Sara.

"It'll go down," Grissom assured them.

Sara and Brass glanced at one another.

"If it doesn't go down…" Grissom did not finish.

"If it doesn't go down, we call Doc or we haul your ass to the emergency room," threatened Brass.

"Jim, I need to talk with you…"

"Stop!" yelled Sara. "This is not worth your health. It can wait."

"It's waited long enough," replied Grissom.

"Jim, he doesn't need to be talking about work. He needs to rest."

"I agree," said Brass. "Shut up and keep quiet."

Grissom started to protest when Sara swiped at her eyes.

"Just an hour," he said softly.

She placed a pillow under his head as she purposely kissed him in front of Brass before covering him with a blanket.

"Thank you," she mouthed.

He closed his eyes as she sat there with him.

He was asleep within minutes.

"How about that coffee now?" asked Brass.

"I think we need to talk…just you and me," whispered Sara.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

Brass watched as she gripped the coffee cup.

"Going to tell me what's wrong?" asked Brass.

"It's the serial murder cases. I think they need to be given to another unit. We're too involved…it's making him sick."

"I agree," said Brass as he sipped on his coffee. "There's more…what was Grissom going to tell me that you didn't want me to hear?"

"He believes…the beating was done by him," she blurted out almost relieved to have said it.

"What do you believe?" he asked.

"None of us are guilty…we've been pawns in this whole mess. I was drugged…so was Grissom."

"Even if he were drugged, he may have done it," said Brass as he watched for her reaction.

"It was consensual…rough sex…that…got out…of hand."

He scoffed. "You'll do anything to protect him….that's love."

"He would never hurt me," whispered Sara. "Tell me, that you think for a minute that Grissom is capable of hurting anyone?"

"I knew something has been bothering him. Does he remember…anything?"

"We both remember bits and pieces…nothing…admissible."

"Especially if you're going to…"

"I'm not letting a word of this get out. I won't have his job jeopardized because of..."

"So that's what you fear," said Brass.

The color drained from Sara's face.

"Sorry kiddo," he said as Brass squeezed her hand.

"Jim, please…don't let him report this…to anyone," she begged.

"I'll talk with him," said Brass. "You think he should stay off tonight?"

"I think he needs to be seen by his physician…but he won't," she grieved.

"I'll call Doc. He won't take no. If his pressure is high when he wakes, Doc can readjust his medication."

She sighed out loud.

"Good to see the both of you…together," said Brass.

"About that," she began.

"I won't say a word," he said as he winked at her.

Grissom woke the moment he felt the stethoscope on his chest.

"Slept through the blood pressure," mused Doc.

Grissom eyed Sara and Brass.

Doc continued to examine Grissom.

"Your heart rate is a little tacky…not sure what to make of that," he said. "I didn't know you had one."

Grissom sat up. "Thanks, Doc."

"Kidding aside," said Doc. "Sara and Brass are right. Your blood pressure is too high. I looked at your prescription…I think it would be safe to double it…but then monitor it."

Doc smiled briefly at Grissom but then said in a rather gruff voice, "It's that or go to your own physician and get billed for it."

"I'm feeling better," said Grissom as he tried to get up.

"You're not working," announced Doc.

"I'm feeling better," insisted Grissom.

"You are NOT working," declared Doc.

"I'll stay in the lab," countered Grissom.

"You did that last night…your blood pressure was still high. You need rest...not work," said Sara.

"Listen to Sara. Take a night off…no working…not even here," ordered Doc. "As I recall there's a history of…"

"I'll stay off," interrupted Grissom.

"Good," said Doc as he lifted his medical bag.

"Thanks, Doc," whispered Sara as she escorted him to the door.

"Don't let him bully you…he stays home," said Doc.

She smiled slightly.

"I need to get going," said Brass.

"Wait. Jim, I wanted to talk with you…"

"Sara and I have already talked."

Grissom glanced at Sara. "I did…"

"So what? It was consensual sex that got out of hand."

Grissom gawked at Brass.

"I didn't believe it either but everyone is going to believe Sara...not you."

"It should be reported…"

"You didn't report Warrick or Catherine. You handled it within the unit. You protected them."

"They didn't do anything," he said with a twinge of anger in his voice.

"There were extenuating circumstances…so we decided to handle it within the unit. It's done. There's no need for further discussion."

"But…"

"I'll see you tonight," said Brass to Sara.

She stood there quietly once they were alone.

"I ordered some food," she said softly. "It should be here any minute."

"Sara…you should have let me…tell Jim."

"Why because you feel like you need to confess? Go confess to a priest…you've confessed to me…that's enough. I won't let you do anything that will…"

"You are…worth the risk," he choked.

She rewarded him with a Sidle smile.

There was a tap on the door.

"I'll get that," he said.

She was thankful that he seemed to have an appetite.

She helped him put away the leftovers.

"I should go…shift will begin in a few hours," she said.

He nodded.

"I'm going to go by my place and…"

"Don't go there," he said quickly.

"I need a few things," she said. "Besides, I need to start staying there…again."

She waited for the invitation to return but it did not come and she felt a little out of sorts.

There did not appear to be any hint of anger at what she and Brass had decided.

She headed toward the door but he called after her.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?" not turning to look at him.

"We need to talk…soon," he said.

There was a hint of finality in his voice that made her shiver.

"Are uhm we okay?" she asked warily.

He was there in front of her within three strides.

He took her into his arms and held her. "No one has ever protected me…loved me…like this."

"I do…love you," she said.

"Be safe," he whispered. "Come here after work…so we can talk."

She nodded as she slowly let her fingers slip from his.

Brass glanced at Sara as she picked up the bagged evidence from the crime scene and began stacking it into the Denali.

"You've been quiet," he whispered.

"Just focusing on the case," she lied.

"I won't even bother responding to that lie. You're still worried about Grissom," he said softly for her ears only.

"He uhm doesn't want me to go back to my apartment," she said.

"If he thinks he did it then why not?" asked Brass.

"I don't know. It uhm doesn't make sense but he's almost emphatic about it."

"Maybe he just wants you…there with him. It would do him good to have you around."

Sara smiled sadly. "I'm not sure about that… I might be a reminder of these cases…these damn cases," she fumed.

"I think he's not the only person obsessed with this."

"I'm sick of this. I wish I'd never heard of Conner or…" she stopped herself.

"Look, as far as Ecklie is concerned, the serial murder case is closed. There is no proof that Conner was helping anyone…that is unless we divulge what's been going on and then…"

Sara shook her head. "We can't do that."

"I'm convinced Conner had help…I don't think we're through with hearing from this person….Nothing has happened to Grissom…yet."

"He was drugged….we proved that."

"You don't think for a minute that this guy is finished with us?" huffed Brass.

"I'm…just….tired of it all," she said.

"We'll keep an eye on Grissom," assured Brass.

Brass grabbed his phone as Sara finished packing.

She cursed when she returned to the lab and spotted Grissom down the hall.

Brass grabbed Grissom by the arm as the conversation became loud.

"Doc said you needed to stay home," fumed Brass.

"I needed to check something…I don't need you to check on me," Grissom bellowed.

"Is there a problem?" asked Ecklie.

"Yes, there is," said Grissom.

"Grissom and I need to discuss a case in private," glared Brass.

"I suggest you do it behind closed doors and much lower than this!" bellowed Ecklie.

"I thought Grissom was sick," whispered Nick.

"He is," she replied. "Nicky, he's got to let this go…he's going to…"

"If anyone can set him straight, Brass can," said Warrick as he joined in on the conversation.

Grissom threw the case file down on his desk. He stood there as Brass closed the office door.

Brass glanced down at the file.

It was one of the serial murders.

"This has gone too far. I'm talking with Ecklie. I'm going to tell him our theory about an accomplice. I won't mention what's been going on with the unit. Gil, this is not worth your health."

"Ecklie will not order the serial murders re-opened. He won't risk the media getting wind of this."

"Then it ends."

"You and I both know it's not going to end," barked Grissom.

"What do you fear, Grissom?" asked Brass.

Brass was not prepared to be shoved across the room.

"What's gotten into you?" yelled Brass.

"What do I fear?" yelled Grissom as his voice filtered down the hallways. "Someone is going to die this time and it's going to be my fault!"

"Look, Gil..."

"Don't tell me how to do my job!" warned Grissom.

Brass stepped forward. "I did this job for years and did it pretty damn good."

Grissom stepped toward Brass.

It surprised Brass as he stepped back.

"I think you need to cool off," said Brass in a low voice. "Before you do something you regret…again."

The last word shocked Grissom.

Brass cursed at his low blow. "I didn't mean…"

Grissom opened his office door and stormed out of the lab.

Brass joined the others who were huddled near the break room.

"He's just on edge," said Brass. "I sort of shoved him a little too far."

"I'll uhm go talk with him," said Sara.

"No!" warned Brass as he grabbed her arm.

"Let him cool off," whispered Brass.

Sara jerked her arm free as she hurried after Grissom.

"What the hell did you do?" whispered Catherine.

"I've never seen him like this," whispered Brass. "He's not thinking straight."

"Sara will calm him down," replied Catherine.

Sara cursed inwardly when she arrived at the townhouse and he was not there.

She sat there for several hours as she waited for him to come home but he didn't.

She glanced at her watch.

"Where can he be?" she asked herself.

Visions of Lady Heather's Dominion flashed before her eyes and she cringed.

She silently prayed that she would not find his vehicle there.

She drove past several times and was relieved when there was no sign of his vehicle.

Sara glanced at her watch and knew she needed to get some sleep.

She drove into her parking spot at the apartment and grabbed the overnight bag.

_I'll get just a few things and then leave…_

She unlocked the apartment and stepped inside dropping the bag onto the floor.

It was eerily quiet as she made her way to the bedroom.

_Just get it and go, Sara…_

She flipped on the light switch and gasped when she found Grissom sitting there in the chair with a piece of nylon rope in his hand.

"You didn't listen," he warned.

Note from author:

Okay....so that is a hefty cliffhanger.... Leave a review....

Take care!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

"I was just getting some more things," she said quickly.

"Come here," he said as he held the rope with both hands.

Sara took a deep breath as she walked to Grissom.

She knelt down beside him.

"You said we would talk. I've been waiting at your house…for you," she whispered.

"I needed to think," he said. "It brought me…here."

"How long have you been here?"

"A few hours," he admitted.

She ran her fingers through his beard as she leaned forward and kissed him.

His hand came forward and she refused to move despite the nylon rope in his hand.

"I don't fear…you," she whispered as she took the rope from his hand and wrapped it around one of her wrist. "Consensual…not…"

He grabbed her to him and kissed her hard but she did not recoil as she responded to his needs.

"You can…have me," she breathed. "Always."

It sounded like a cry of pain that tore from his throat as he stripped her naked.

She walked toward the bed but he stopped her.

She unbuttoned his shirt and then reached for his belt.

His eyes never left hers as she pulled the belt from his pants.

His pants were discarded to the floor but she kept the belt in her hand.

She forcefully opened his hand and handed him the belt but he let it drop to the floor as she pulled him to the bed.

"Sara, no…."

"I don't fear you…or this," she whispered.

He let go of his emotions as he pushed her down on the bed and entered her quickly.

She bucked toward him causing him to slip further inside her.

Their bodies became one as they worked in unison to find release.

Both bodies shuddered at once.

She felt him climax inside her and she followed but kept her legs wrapped around him.

"You didn't hurt me," she whispered.

His hands grabbed her wrists and slammed them onto the bed but she did not panic.

"You should…fear me," he warned.

His release was abrupt as he grabbed his clothing and he was gone before she could catch her breath.

She thought he would simply go into the living room but her stomach knotted the moment she heard the front door slam.

For hours she tried to reach him by phone but he would not answer.

_He just needs to work through this…_

_He'll call me when he's ready…_

Sara showered and then grabbed some clothes tossing them into the overnight bag.

Once she was done, she did not know where to go.

She wanted to go back to Grissom's but because of his sudden departure she thought better of it.

She curled up on the couch and slept.

She reached for her gun the moment she heard the sound.

Quietly, she tiptoed over to the front door and checked the peep hole.

She sighed when it was Brass.

"Hey," she said as she opened the door.

"Do you know what he's up to?" asked Brass.

"Grissom? He was here earlier…but then he left."

"He called a staff meeting…at the townhouse."

"He's not going to tell the others…he wouldn't do that…now," she breathed. "When did he call you?"

"An hour ago," said Brass.

Sara checked her phone. "He never called me."

Both were silent.

"Jim…"

"Let's go," he said.

She tried not to panic as she sat across from Brass.

"Look, you know how Grissom likes to makes announcements when he cracks a case. Maybe he's figured it out finally," said Brass.

Sara did not reply.

"You think it's really about…what happened between the two of you?" asked Brass.

"He said he needed to talk with me after shift but he never came home. When I got to my apartment, he was there."

"In your apartment?" asked Brass.

"Yes."

"Was he upset…about our argument?"

"No."

"Sara, should I be worried about him…hurting you?"

"No!"

They pulled up just as the others arrived.

"Does anybody know what this is about?" asked Catherine.

"Grissom's solved the case," said Warrick confidently.

"If that's the case, it has to be someone in the lab for him to call us here," said Nick.

"Yeah, well my money is on Hodges," said Greg. "He's nothing but a…"

"You're just mad because he's made you a grunt since you were restricted to the lab for awhile," huffed Catherine.

They did not even knock as they heard the door open.

They stepped inside.

Grissom grabbed Sara by the arm. "I don't want you here."

"We're on the clock and I'm part of the team," she said quietly.

"Sara…"

Sara ignored his pleas as she stepped inside and sat down on the couch beside Nick.

They stared at a board that had been set up.

It listed each serial murder.

"I'll get to the point," said Grissom.

He started from the beginning.

"Melanie Barnes took an Entomology course on line…with me."

He went to the next victim.

"Regina Harper's brother was involved in an arson case I investigated last year. I talked with her on the phone."

His hand traveled down the board as he rattled off each victim giving details of their personal life that had not been included in the investigation.

"Wait, what are you saying? The murders had ties to you so that's why Conner killed them?" asked Nick.

"I had connections to each of the victims…alone. I had disagreements with each of them… it was never put in the case file but I remember it."

He hesitated a moment.

"I found each piece of evidence against each of you."

"This is a joke, right?" griped Nick.

"I should have been a suspect," announced Grissom.

"I don't buy that," grumbled Warrick. "You've always had our backs. If you wanted to get us you would have turned in the evidence and we would be fired."

"Warrick is right," said Catherine.

"Maybe I wanted to teach you a lesson…about slipping around…having a relationship…behind my back."

Warrick and Catherine glanced nervously at one another.

"Why me?" asked Greg.

"You were too cocky…too smart…like me."

Greg looked confused.

"This is just speculation," cried Sara.

"Is it, Sara?" Grissom asked.

"You didn't have anything to do with Laura or Elli's death," said Nick.

Grissom looked directly at Nick. "Laura came by a week before she died. She was waiting for you. I spoke with her…about you."

Nick gripped the couch.

"I remembered the layout of the house before I even stepped foot in it as well as the position of her body."

Grissom then looked at Brass. "I remember similar details about Ellie."

"No!" cried Catherine. "I can't believe you could hurt anyone."

"I can," he choked.

He turned to look at Sara who had left the couch and was standing off to the corner of the room.

"Sara can tell you what I'm capable of," he said quietly.

"Shut up!" Sara yelled. "You're mentally exhausted…this case has gotten to you…You did not do any of this!"

"Look at the details," instructed Grissom calmly. "No one else knew this information….the connection… to me. I knew each of the victims."

"You didn't know Conner," Sara spat.

"Yes, I did."

"Conner Winfrey attended the same University as I did…the same years, the same classes."

"Are you saying that you and Conner committed the murders…together?" asked Brass.

"I'm giving you the facts….the additional facts… the connection…to me…the opportunity for me…each time a victim was killed, I was off duty."

"Oh shit," whispered Catherine.

"But you're not admitting to any of the murders," said Nick quickly.

"How did I know the information? The details about the bodies?" he asked.

Sara was suddenly by his side.

She grabbed his face with her hands.

"You've been under a lot of stress…we know you were drugged. We've been over and over these cases together….even Greg thinks he can identify each piece of evidence blindfolded. It's your imagination…you feel guilty for…" she stopped as she whispered to him. "Please, stop."

He gently removed her hands from his face.

"Yes, I feel guilty for hurting you," he said.

"Stop, Gil. Please!"

"Sara was…beaten…possibly assaulted…by me."

"That's not true!" she said. "It just got out of hand."

Catherine wiped at her eyes. "You…beat Sara?"

"Yes."

"No, he didn't," insisted Sara.

"Catherine has the evidence in her desk. Sara was beaten with a belt…mine. The shoeprint on her abdomen matches my shoe. Both pieces of evidence belonged to me and were found in my closet."

Sara shook her head as all eyes turned to Catherine.

"We thought the evidence was planted. Grissom was drugged just like Sara," said Catherine in defense.

"It was!" yelled Sara.

"No more, Sara," whispered Grissom.

"None of this is true!" wailed Sara. "Jim, tell them. He's been ill. He's not himself."

Jim stood there without saying a word.

"Jim!" Sara begged.

"Sara?" Grissom called softly. "You've always been a very bright student. Look at the evidence."

The room was silent.

"Jim, you need to arrest me," said Grissom. "If I were a suspect on the street, I'd already be in a squad car by now."

"You're not some person on the street," sniffled Catherine. "I don't believe this is happening."

Warrick's hand took Catherine's.

"You made a better choice this time," smiled Grissom sadly.

"You can't stand there and say those things and then expect us to believe that you're a cold blooded murderer," cried Nick. "You wouldn't do it, man."

"I could…with two distinct and separate personalities, one the opposite of the other. One persona completely oblivious to the other until something triggered them both at the same time."

Grissom's eyes glanced at Sara.

She shook her head over and over.

"What would you do…if it were not me, Jim? Would you ignore everything I've told you?"

"I'd uhm arrest you," Brass finally said.

Catherine cried softly. Nick cursed out loud as Greg kicked the board over onto the floor.

"Sara, look at me," Grissom said softly.

Huge dark orbs stared at him.

"What have I taught you, honey?"

She gulped back a sob. "The evidence doesn't lie."

Note from author:

Okay....I'm not going to say anything.... just go ahead and vent....through a review....LOL

Take care!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Sara wiped her eyes and grabbed Grissom by the collar.

"The lies are the evidence!" she screamed. "These memories were planted in your head…you were drugged!"

"Was I Sara? You tested me afterwards…I had plenty of time to ingest something…cover my tracks."

"Stop it! You're letting this bastard win! Why would you turn in the belt and the shoe? Why would you take me to Heather's Dominion and force me to remember…You're too smart for that! Your eyes are glazed, Grissom. Baby, you are not thinking straight. He's still getting to you…I don't know how…but he is."

"How far will you go to protect me, Sara?" he whispered.

"If I'm so smart…talk with me…through each point…just you and me. Convince me that you did this…and we'll go down…town," she cried. "I'll drive you myself. I'll stand there while you're booked and processed. I'll….Gil, please. Give me twenty- four hours."

Expletives came from Brass as he reached in his back pocket for his phone.

"Sara, I have to call a squad car…to come and get Grissom."

"He's right," whispered Grissom.

"No! Jim, twenty -four hours is all that I'm asking for," pleaded Sara. "Look at him! He can barely stand on his feet. His hands are trembling…he needs to rest…then we'll go over this with a clear head."

Brass opened his phone.

"Jim, don't. I'm begging you," pleaded Sara.

"I need a squad car for surveillance at Dr. Gil Grissom's house."

Sara sighed.

"There will be a squad car outside."

"You see…Jim knows I'm right," said Grissom. "He thinks I might try to escape."

"Shut the hell up!" yelled Brass.

The others left as Brass pulled Sara outside.

"I don't want to leave you alone with him," said Brass.

"He didn't do this!" said Sara.

"I don't believe it either but even you admitted that this bastard is getting to Grissom somehow. If he can get to Grissom, he can get to you."

"I'm staying. He'll talk with me…I'll figure this out."

"Let me put a uniformed officer inside," offered Brass.

"No!"

"Twenty-four hours," said Brass "and then I'm coming back."

Sara rushed back into the house, shutting the door and then locking it.

"You need to leave, Sara."

Sara leaned against the door as she slid into the floor.

Her body racked with sobs.

He gently knelt in front of her.

"You can't protect me…anymore," he whispered.

"Someone has to!" she yelled as she beat her fists against his chest. "Someone has to protect you from yourself!"

She sobbed uncontrollably.

"Please…don't," he whispered.

She shoved him away.

"All these years, I had to fight for us…and now you just want to give in when some homicidal maniac is framing you for murder."

She sat there in front of him as she cried.

"Your theory has holes in it!" she yelled as she hit him once more.

Grissom pulled her from the floor despite her protests.

"Stop, you're going to hurt yourself," he pleaded.

"Who cares? You don't! You just screwed me and then beat me! You tied me to the bed and then beat me over and over!"

She stepped toward him but he retreated.

"Come on! Where's that psychopathic personality of yours? Let's see it! I demand to see it."

She continued her pursuit as he retreated.

"Come on! You want to tie me up again? Let's go to Heather's. Let's see what she's taught you. Let's see you pin me against the wall and screw my brains out. While you're at it put a gun to my head and pull the trigger like you think you did with Laura!"

She stood there heaving as he struggled to breathe.

"Sara…"

"Here! I'll help you!"

Sara pulled out her revolver and tried to point it at her temple but he quickly grabbed it from her, throwing it onto the couch.

"Stop it! Sara!"

"Wait. You can't use a gun. Silly, me! It'll be heard by the officer outside."

Sara ran to the kitchen and pulled out a butcher knife.

"This is better. Just two slices across the wrists and…"

He felt as if he'd been hit with a sledge hammer.

His knees dropped to the floor.

"Oh, God, Gil."

Sara sunk to the floor beside him.

"My head," he moaned.

"Fight it Grissom. Think through the pain!"

Memories came crashing forth as a wave of pain hit.

_Grissom sat in his car as she entered her apartment building. _

_She'd left the lab in tears. _

_He'd done everything he could to get Greg reinstated but Ecklie was determined to confine him to the lab until a disciplinary hearing reviewed his case._

_He admired the tenacity of the young man. _

_He'd been determined to become a CSI and Grissom had watched as he worked to get into the field. _

_He'd been proud of the young man when he'd told Grissom it was not about money._

_Greg reminded him of himself._

_He'd never cared for money or prestige._

_Now, the young man's job was uncertain._

_He knew that Greg would bounce back and find another field to work but he knew his heart was there in that unit in the field…with the others._

_He cursed._

_He'd managed to protect everyone but Greg._

_Grissom passed an old lady in the elevator and smiled briefly. _

_He knocked on her door and she opened it immediately._

"_Can we talk?" he asked._

"_I'm not blaming you," she sniffled._

"_It still hurts…the same," he replied._

"_He didn't do it!" she screamed._

"_People get blamed every day for things they didn't do."_

"_You do believe him…right?" she asked._

"_I always believed Greg. I blame myself. If I had waited until Ecklie was gone to pull out the test sheet…I didn't."_

"_It's not your fault," she said as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve._

_Grissom reached out and gently swiped her cheek._

"_You missed one," he said softly._

_He reached out again and wiped her other cheek._

"_And another," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her._

"_Griss?"_

"_I can't bear to see you cry," he said. "It hurts…my soul. You're the only person who's ever affected me this way."_

"_What way?" she whispered._

_His fingers caressed her cheek as his lips lovingly kissed each one. He dipped down and kissed her lightly on the lips._

"_What way?" she repeated. _

"_I want you," he groaned as he started to step back but she grabbed him demanding entrance with her tongue as her hands caressed his beard._

_He stepped back abruptly causing her to stumble._

"_I'm uhm sorry," she said as she stepped away from him._

_A single tear slipped down her cheeks._

_He felt himself losing the battle as he advanced toward her despite her best efforts to not let it get out of hand._

"_I shouldn't have…"_

"_I'm glad you did," he whispered. "May I…have you?"_

_She burst into tears as she flung herself into his arms. _

_Clothes were thrown about the apartment as they made their way to the bedroom._

_He gently pushed her down on the bed as he made love to her. _

_It was quick and explosive as they came together each needing immediate release. _

_He shuddered inside her and then pulled her tightly against his chest._

"_You've stolen my soul, Sara Sidle."_

_She smiled a devilish grin. "I'll take whatever I can get."_

_Hours passed as they made love once more._

_Sara stretched lazily._

_She rolled over and gazed into blue eyes._

"_Hungry?" she asked._

"_Thirsty," he replied._

_She rubbed his beard as she leaned down and kissed him letting her breast rest on his chest._

"_Not nice," he teased._

_They drank a glass of juice as they sat there on the couch._

_Sara's head bobbed onto his shoulder._

"_You should sleep before shift," he slurred._

"_Griss…are you…"_

_She did not finish as she went limp in his arms._

"_Sara?" Grissom struggled to reach for his phone but felt a hand pull him back._

"_Sorry, buddy. I can't let you spoil the fun. You're appearance tonight has changed my plans. She's such a health freak…always drinking juice so I spiked it this evening. I was going to kill her…but pinning you for rape and…let's see…beating your lover is more fun," sneered Adam Roach._

_Roach opened his bag and chuckled. "What goodies do I have here? Oh yes, did I tell you, pal, that I've become an expert at hypnotic suggestion…I could make you walk off the top of this apartment building but that would be too easy. Let's play awhile. Let's see how you react when you think you've raped your sweetie here…and then beat her with…I'll have to improvise. I'm sure I can find something. I did bring the rope."_

"_It's a pity I was never into…women but then you knew that. You destroyed my reputation…that grant should have been mine. You stole my life… should have been the head of forensics. I would have already been much higher than you…you're such an incompetent fool."_

_He jabbed the needle into Grissom's neck. "Let's just give you a few memories…about the murders…let you believe you did it."_

_Roach laughed._

_He grabbed Sara by the arm and dragged her into the bedroom._

"_Stupid slut! You killed Conner….he was a loyal slave and servant…do you know how hard it is to find good help?"_

_Roach spied Grissom's belt._

"_This is nice. A fancy, expensive, leather belt. What's this? Nice shoes."_

_Roach slipped on the shoe and then stomped Sara's chest as she cried out._

"_Bitch. I'll teach you a lesson."_

_Roach grabbed her wrists and then slung her body onto the bed as if she were a ragdoll. He tightened the ropes and then grabbed her by the hair._

"_You hear Grissom. You hear his voice. You hear Grissom. You hear his voice."_

_Roach waited until the drug took effect._

_He then dragged Grissom into the room, tossing him into a chair he'd placed at the end of the bed._

"_Look through the mirror. Who do you see, Sara?" he whispered. "You see Grissom. He's going to beat you."_

_Roach picked up the belt and slammed it across Sara's back. She cried out despite the effects of the drug. He repeatedly whipped her with the belt as Grissom watched as the blood slowly oozed from her back._

"_Sara?"called Grissom._

"_She's not listening. It's all her fault. She didn't leave the house when you told her. She killed Conner. This makes you angry. She refused to listen to you. She needs to be punished."_

_Roach lifted the belt and struck Sara over and over._

"_Tell her to give you the safety word," whispered Roach._

"_What is the safety word, Sara?" _

"_What is the safety word?"_

"_What is the safety word?" Roach yelled._

"_Conner!" she cried._

"_She's too smart and strong…she's not supposed to be able to respond. Damn, I'll have to stop. It's a pity. I was so having fun."_

_There were voices down the hall._

_Roach stopped as he glanced at the clock._

"_Geez…where did the time go? I'll have to get you home, Grissom. I guess this will have to do. One more? Of course," he said with an evil smile as he throttled Sara once more. Grissom sobbed._

"_Be careful with what you fear," laughed Roach._

_Roach dragged Grissom out of the chair then returned the chair to its previous spot. _

"_Let the fun begin," chuckled Roach._

"Grissom? Grissom, talk with me! What do you remember?" Sara begged.

"Roach," he whispered.

"A bug?" she asked.

"Tsk tsk tsk, now Sara," clucked Roach as he stepped out of the bedroom. "He was referring to me."

Sara grabbed Grissom possessively to her.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to kill him…yet. I've got to torture you…in front of Grissom and then slit his throat…no wait. Stupid me. I have to make it look like a suicide. He's practically confessed to the serial murders and now when they return, they will find a little surprise we're going to leave behind."

"Ready to have some fun?" Adam Roach asked.

"You're sick."

"No…I'm a sociopath…with no redeeming qualities," he sneered. "Grissly wasn't supposed to find out until he was behind bars…after he lost everything he desired…his career and you."

He picked up Sara's gun.

"How convenient. Now, put these on."

Roach tossed her a pair of handcuffs.

Sara glanced at Grissom.

"Hesitate and I'll hurt him. It's your fault, he's this way. The blood pressure medicine was a bit difficult to tamper with. Of course, doubling the dosage was a shock…I thought he was going to stroke out…it would have been your fault…always insisting about his health."

Sara slipped on the cuffs.

"Good. Turn around."

Sara was yanked to her feet.

He gagged her as he picked up the butcher knife and placed it in Grissom's hand.

"Need his fingerprints, love."

Roach handcuffed Grissom and then waited until he was conscious.

"You don't want to miss our reunion," smiled Roach.

"Don't hurt her…please," begged Grissom.

Grissom scrambled to his feet when Roach's gloved hand slashed Sara's wrists.

"Sit and watch," warned Roach to Grissom. "Interfere and I'll put a bullet in her brain…a very smart brain at that. She was the only person I couldn't convince that you're…me."

Roach slashed once more and the blood splattered on the wall.

"Excellent! You gave me the idea, Sara. You know, the cute story you told Grissom about your parents…touching…I wanted to gag. Mommy dearest should have killed you too…no sense having your father's genes still around when you detest someone."

Sara gasped as the blood continued to flow from the cuts.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to let you bleed to death. I need you for later. Now, let's just leave a nice blood splatter pattern."

Roach proceeded to kick Sara as she fell from side to side. Blood oozed from her wrists.

"You're very good at this!"

Roach dragged Sara out of the living room and into the bedroom as Grissom watched helplessly.

"Let's cover the bed sheets…for dramatic purposes…that's nice."

Sara fell to the floor.

"I don't know what he sees in you…nothing but a stack of bones…no stamina….of course you like to be beaten…you must have had practice when you were a child…maybe you secretly frequent Lady Heather's Dominion....like he does."

"You like the place? That's where we're going."

Sara felt her body slip to the floor just as she lost consciousness.

Note from author:

See....I didn't make Grissom the killer...but now they have to face a sociopath.... YIkes!

Take care


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

Roach left Sara lying in the floor.

"Time is ticking, Grissly my boy. We need to get to the Dominion before she bleeds to death. Understand?"

Grissom stared at Sara's lifeless body.

"I'm going to release the handcuffs and then you're going to carry her to my van parked down the street. You try to alert anyone and I'll kill her first."

As soon as the handcuffs were removed, Grissom rushed to Sara's side.

He quickly grabbed a towel from the hamper and tried to apply it to her wrist.

"She's bleeding out too fast," grieved Grissom.

"Then I suggest you hurry!"

Grissom lifted Sara and hurried to the van parked outside.

Grissom glanced over and noticed the officer was busy talking on his cell phone.

He grumbled inwardly as Roach opened the door to the van.

"Get in," he sneered.

Once inside, the door was locked.

Grissom continued to apply pressure to Sara's wrists.

"Sara? You've got to wake up, honey," he urged.

He pulled her against his body as he tried to keep her warm while the blood continued to pour from her wounds.

The door opened once they arrived at the Dominion.

"I think you better hurry and get her inside. I think she's lost almost four pints already," smiled Roach.

"She needs a hospital," said Grissom.

"Tick tock. Time it wasting."

Grissom carried Sara to the veranda door and tapped.

Heather was surprised to see him as she ushered them inside.

Roach stepped inside with the gun.

"You must be Lady Heather," said Roach.

"I'm at a loss…do I know you?" asked Heather.

"Adam Roach, a pal of Grissly's here. We're going to need a secluded room…away from everyone else," insisted Roach.

"I've got an emergency kit," said Heather.

She headed toward her desk but Roach stopped her.

"What's the word?" he asked.

"Please," said Grissom quickly.

Heather took the emergency kit as she escorted them to the basement.

She opened a door which contained a full side bed.

There were chains on the walls.

Roach smiled. "I do love your décor. Do you hang around much?"

"When it suits me. And you?" she asked.

"Naw, I prefer to watch other people…strung up…like Sara…or perhaps you," smiled Roach.

He started to leave but stopped. "You better get to work before she bleeds to death. I so want to try out some of these contraptions on her…so Grissly can watch."

He shut the door.

"Heather, what do you have in that kit?" asked Grissom nervously.

Heather quickly unwrapped the towel around Sara's wrists.

She examined the deep gashes.

"This needs stitches…I've got a needle and some nylon string," she said as she pulled it out of the kit.

"What kind of emergency kit is this?" asked Grissom.

"You should be thankful I have these…a real kit wouldn't be of much use right now."

Sara moaned as Grissom held her in his arms.

He watched as Heather threaded the needle.

She started to hand it to him but stopped.

"Have you done this before?" she asked.

"On a cadaver," replied Grissom.

She sighed. "I've sewn up quite a few…overzealous lovers who got carried away."

"Heather, could we have this conversation later. The bleeding won't stop."

"Hold her," instructed Heather.

Heather inserted the needle causing Sara to struggle.

"Sara, we need to sew up the wounds," whispered Grissom as he held her tight.

Sara's eyes were wild as she saw the needle dig into her wrist once again.

"Slow deep breaths will help with the pain," advised Heather.

Grissom's hand pulled Sara's head against his chest as he kissed her on the forehead. "Just a few more stitches."

"Hurts," she moaned.

"I know honey but you've lost too much blood."

Within minutes both wrists were stitched.

She faded in and out as Grissom held her.

"Most women would have screamed," said Heather. "She's used to pain."

Grissom glanced down and caressed her cheek as his fingers checked her pulse.

"Her pulse is weak," he whispered.

"She'll be better in a few hours…that is, unless cockroach decides to torture her. Mind telling me what's going on?"

He glanced down at Sara.

"Roach is a serial killer…his accomplice was…"

"Conner…oh this is nice. He looked like a sociopath."

Grissom lifted Sara as Heather pulled back the covers from the bed.

He gently covered her.

"Any ideas how we're going to get out of this?" asked Grissom.

"You're the CSI," crooned Heather.

"You're a better match for a sociopath," said Grissom.

"I'm not sure I should take that as a compliment," replied Heather.

Grissom glanced down at Sara.

"She's going to be alright," said Heather.

"I'm not sure what Roach has planned for us," said Grissom. "Sara is strong but she's very weak right now."

The door swung open.

"Put her to bed so soon?" asked Roach.

Roach walked toward the bed but Grissom blocked him.

Roach waved the gun back and forth.

"Not nice. That could end this too soon and the fun is just about to start," said Roach.

"Since you've interrupted my plans for the night, do you mind letting me know what plans you have for us?" asked Lady Heather sounding bored.

Roach glanced at Grissom and then back at Heather.

"Too bad you're not my type…I bet your some spit fire."

"You're not my type either. I never cared for cockroaches."

Roach glared at her.

"May I ask, how you know Dr. Grissom?" asked Heather.

"We attended the same school. We competed for the same grants."

"Dr. Grissom beat you academically as well as professionally."

"Grissly spurned my offer."

"Offer?" asked Heather intrigued.

"To be my partner," explained Roach. "We could have been great together."

"You were too cruel…I didn't want any part of your future plans," said Grissom.

"You made me your friend and then you tossed me away as soon as you found out…"

Roach stopped. "I'm getting ahead of myself….trying to ruin the fun for later. I'll tell you what, I'll let our Sara get a little shut eye before I come back and strip her naked to the wall."

"Can I play too?" asked Heather.

Roach smiled. "I like your deviant thoughts."

"It's only deviant when society labels it as such….but to you and I…well, it's how we spend our past time."

"Very well said," smiled Roach. "You may have redeemed yourself in my eyes."

He shut door and then locked it.

"What do you think he's doing?" asked Grissom.

"He's getting off while he watches others in the Dominion."

"Isn't someone going to miss you?" asked Grissom.

"I'm rarely seen but I'm everywhere," she sighed.

"Video cameras," he reasoned.

"There is no need for privacy here. Most get excited knowing that someone else is watching," she explained.

"Is there a way out of the basement besides the stairs?" he asked.

"Yes. There's a door behind a shelf…for private visitors who do not wish to be seen."

"One of us has to get out," said Grissom.

"Grissom, you and I both know that he is not going to be taken by my charm….he fancies…you."

"He despises me."

"He beat Sara because he was jealous of her. A lover beating his competition."

"We were never…"

"Of course not…which is the reason for his explosive behavior. He cannot have what he desires."

Grissom glanced at Sara.

"He will target Sara…unless he thinks…you desire me."

"He already knows how much Sara means to me," whispered Grissom.

"He only knows what you've let him. He'll be watching…observing. Why do you think he chose to come here?"

"He likes your décor?" quipped Grissom.

"Nice to see you have a sense of humor when our lives are at stake," said Heather. "He's probably been following you…you've been coming here quite a bit since these murders began."

Heather stepped forward. "If you cannot be convincing, he'll torture Sara until she's dead. In his sick deviant mind, he'll think by removing Sara, he can somehow win your affection."

"What do you suggest?" he asked softly.

"Let your inhibitions run free…pretend to desire…both of us."

"I won't hurt her."

"If she feels spurned, Roach will see that and turn his attention away from her."

"He knows how much the beating…hurt me."

"Yes, but he doesn't know the reason. You felt guilty for taking advantage of Sara…having sex with her…she could ruin your career…for one night of weakness…when I had spurned you."

"I confide in you too much. We could tell Sara…"

"It has to be believable…in her state, could she do that? Do you want to risk that?"

He ran his hands through his hair.

"You agree but you don't want to admit it….you always do that when you know you're going to have to give in," she purred. "You never wanted to give in…always resisted…because of her."

"She means everything to me, Heather. I can't lose her. Understand?"

"Then we better be convincing," she replied.

Sara stirred.

"Are you ready?" asked Heather.

Grissom's stomach churned.

"Are there monitors in this room?" asked Grissom.

"This room is special. It's where I come when I want to be…" she stopped letting her mouth curl into a devious smile.

"Grissom?"

Grissom sat down on the bed and gently caressed Sara's cheek.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"My wrists hurt," she said. She stared at the bandages and then glanced around. "Not a dream," she whispered as her breathing became labored.

Grissom handed her a glass of water.

"You have to stay hydrated. You've lost too much blood…don't overexert yourself," he warned.

She nodded as she finished off the water and took another glass.

"You're safe…for now. Roach doesn't like you…try not to set him off…okay? Can you stay out of it?" he asked.

Heather stepped closer to Grissom as her hand rested on his shoulder.

Sara glanced at Heather. "Dominion?"

"You're in our room," purred Heather. "Normally I wouldn't let another woman…in our bed but I've made an exception…since Grissom needs to work through some guilt issues."

Sara ignored the "our" comment as she glanced around the room.

"Where…is…he?" asked Sara fearfully.

"He'll be back…to play. He had fun with you. Do you want to play some more?" asked Heather.

Sara shook her head. "No…I…don't."

"Then you should…remove yourself."

Sara's shaking hand held her temple.

"It's the after effects of the drug…and the loss of blood," Grissom said as he started to caress her cheek but stopped himself.

Grissom glanced at Heather.

He looked down at the floor. "Sara, I'm sorry I got you into this mess. I never should have…used you."

He felt Sara's body stiffen.

"Roach is very dangerous. We used to be very good friends….we identified with one another. Both of us lost our fathers at a young age. His mother was an alcoholic while mine…she just hid from the world because of the deafness. She left me to fend for myself. It made me an easy target for bullies. He saw that and became protective of me. I looked at him…as a brother. I thought he did the same…until he became possessive…of me."

Sara's eyes widened as Grissom cleared his throat before continuing.

"He and I competed for a research grant years ago…he believes he was passed over because…of his sexual preference. When he told me…about his feelings…I was not prepared...especially when he admitted his feelings for me."

"I denounced our friendship…I refused to talk…or work with him. I talked with the Dean of the school to get permission to work on my own individual research…Roach thought I had divulged his secret. He was quite angry when he lost the grant to me. He disappeared for years…I don't know why…but now he's back, wanting to punish me."

Sara reached out to take Grissom's hand but he stood suddenly.

"Look, here in the Dominion, there are no lies…no hiding behind…I became involved with Heather a year ago…we've been meeting here…in secret…she wanted to protect me from…those that would not understand."

Sara gulped as she hung on every word.

"She thought I had feelings for …you so she insisted I…explore those feelings. I did. I've always been intrigued with your mind…I used you to see if Heather was right…that I could not give myself completely to her. I had no idea Roach was going to do that to you…it's one thing to use someone…but then allow them to be beaten…I didn't think I was capable of that but then Roach used hypnotic suggestions to get me to believe I'd done just that."

Grissom sighed. "You were willing to protect me at all costs…that's loyalty…I admire that."

"But you…said…"

"I do love you, Sara but I need Heather…I always have. I will not give her up. If you can…accept her…"

Sara looked shocked. "This isn't happening."

"I'm sorry I got you involved in this," he said. "You've been hurt because of me."

"You said…" she pulled her legs up as she wrapped her arms around them.

"We're going to get out of this mess…but I need you to stay out of it…understand?" asked Grissom.

She did not reply as her head dropped onto her knees.

"Sara?"

Grissom's head snapped toward Heather as he glared at her but Heather shook her head in a warning gesture.

His hand reached out to touch her head but Sara smacked it away.

"Stay away from me!"

Heather smiled.

Grissom stepped back.

"Sara has made her decision. She doesn't want to be a part of this," said Heather.

"This is sick!" yelled Sara. "I can't believe you would think that I would willingly share you with…her!"

"Come, come Sara. We've already been sharing him. I sent him to your bed. From what he told me, you enjoyed it. You could again…with my permission. He seems to have a weakness for…your weakness. I accept that. He feels responsible for you. Again, I accept that. I can even accept that he will bed you every now and then as long as you understand, he will be doing the same…with me….here…like we have been….for the past year."

Sara glanced around. "Here? In this place?"

"Here…and other places," Heather said with a smile.

Sara threw back the blankets and struggled to her feet as she leaned against the wall.

"Sara, you shouldn't…"

She glared at Grissom.

"Oh, that's good. Show your weakness so he'll be prone to try to help you," sighed Heather. "She's so predictable."

Sara made her way to the far side of the room and slumped down into the floor.

Grissom cursed as he headed toward her but the door suddenly opened.

"Is everyone ready to play?" chirped Roach.

Note from author:

Yeah...I know...

Take care!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

"What do we have here?" asked Roach as he stared at Sara sitting in the floor.

"She doesn't want to share," said Heather as she plopped down on the bed.

"Oh my, I think I smell a lover's quarrel," grinned Roach.

Roach eyed Sara and then the others.

"I still choose you," said Roach as he crossed the room to get Sara.

Sara scooted into the corner.

Grissom started toward Sara but Heather stopped him.

"Come on my dear," said Roach.

"Let go of me!" Sara spat as she attempted to hit him but he quickly grabbed her by the wrist and she cried out in pain.

"Still hurts? Good! You killed Conner…he was hard to find…quite a gem…very loyal. Are you loyal, Sara? Of course, you are. You've shown me that."

Sara kicked Roach but he kicked her back sending her against the wall as he aimed the gun at Grissom's head.

Sara gasped for breath.

"She may be weak but she's still strong enough to fight. I like that. Maybe I was wrong…maybe you did make a good choice…for a woman…but women are inferior."

"Adam, what do you want?" asked Grissom. "I never hurt you."

"You did! You cut me out of your life. You treated me as if I didn't exist! I decided I was going to show you! I was going to be better than you…but I could never get another break even years of struggling to get money for my research."

"I'm sorry. You were…better than me. I always thought you were much smarter than…me."

Roach stepped away from Sara. "I was. We could have made a name for ourselves."

"No…we couldn't," said Grissom. "You know me. I was never good with people. I didn't want what you wanted."

"I would have changed…for you."

"You didn't give me that offer," said Grissom.

Roach sneered at him. "You think I don't know what you're doing?"

Grissom shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I fell for the hypnotic suggestion. I guess I didn't really know myself after all."

"You're over there near Heather….while Sara is in the floor recovering from a broken rib. What gives?"

"Nothing," said Grissom as he headed toward Sara.

"Stop!" yelled Roach.

Grissom stopped.

Roach glanced at Heather and then laughed. "Oh, please. You and her? A dominatrix?"

"Heather is…a friend."

Roach glanced at Sara. "Is that right, Sara?"

Sara lay there on the floor in a fetal position.

"Damn, I think she passed out again." Roach cursed. "This is no fun."

He walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

Heather quickly jumped off the bed and grabbed Grissom.

She kissed him despite his protests.

The door swung open and Roach chuckled.

"Gotcha!"

Grissom pulled Heather behind him.

"I think I'll play with Heather for awhile," he sneered.

"Don't," pleaded Grissom.

"Grissly, I promise I won't kill her….just play."

Heather glanced down at her gown. "What do you have planned? I may not have dressed for the occasion."

"A little bondage," replied Roach.

"I have a leather outfit…I think you'd like it," she said eagerly.

"Did Grissom like it?" he asked.

"Oh, yes!"

"Slut."

The door shut.

Grissom walked to the door to ensure they were gone before rushing to Sara.

He quickly cradled her in his arms as he tried to assess her injuries.

Sara shoved him away as she huddled into the corner.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Stay…away," she cried.

"Your ribs…Sara, I need to know…"

"I'm fine!"

"You could lie on the bed," he offered.

"You take it!"

"You're cold," he said.

"Leave me alone," she seethed.

"Listen to me," he whispered as he glanced toward the door. "There's a door behind a shelf near the stairs. It will lead you outside. Sara, if you can get away…when he's distracted…go."

Sara hid from his stares.

She scooted as far as she could into the corner.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

Sara did not respond.

"Sara!"

"Go away," she sobbed.

He cursed inwardly. "I hate this!"

"Why didn't you leave me alone? I'd moved on…tried to anyway…you were with her all along."

"Sara…"

He heard voices and Grissom quickly returned to the bed.

There was the sound of a whip.

Sara's head snapped up.

"He's…got…a whip," she gasped.

"He won't hurt you…if you stay out of it," warned Grissom.

Sara glanced around the room as if she were searching for a place to hide.

Blood dripped from the wrist he'd grabbed.

"We should re-bandage that," he said. "You may have broken open a stitch."

Sara hid her wrist from sight.

"Can I check?" he asked.

She shook her head.

_She hates me…_

_That's good, right?_

The door opened and Roach stepped inside.

"Where's Heather?" asked Grissom nervously.

"She's hanging around...seems to like it...a pity," he said. "She didn't even flinch when I struck her with the whip. Pity, I wanted her to scream."

Grissom huffed. "Good luck. She's tough."

"You like…her?"

Grissom cocked his head. "She's different…not like other women who cower into a corner. I like her strength."

"It's manly," said Roach.

"Yes, it is."

"You and I are quite alike," smiled Roach.

"I don't kill people," said Grissom.

"Not yet," replied Roach. "What if I gave you a choice?"

Grissom swallowed. "A choice?"

"I'll let you go if you kill them?"

"I can't kill…you know that."

"Even to free yourself?" he asked.

"There would be no reason to live," he admitted.

"You love her that much?" asked Roach.

"Yes," Grissom admitted.

"I'll just kill her then," announced Roach.

"I couldn't live with myself," replied Grissom.

"Damn, you're not making this easy," grumbled Roach.

"I'm complicated," replied Grissom.

"You're worth it," said Roach.

Grissom's felt bile rise in his throat.

"Still play chess?" asked Grissom.

Roach smiled. "Of course. You could never beat me."

"I could now," said Grissom smugly.

"I'll get a chess board…there is one here, right?"

Grissom walked over to the closet, opening it. He took out a chess set. "Heather and I often play. It's relaxing. She's the only woman who has ever challenged me."

"Nice! Let's play!"

Grissom slid the table over.

"Here?" asked Roach.

"You want to go upstairs?" asked Grissom.

"You know we can't," said Roach.

"We could out there," offered Grissom.

"She's hanging out there," sighed Roach.

"Bring her back…in here," said Grissom.

Roach looked at him suspiciously. "You just want to help her."

"Heather can take care of herself," said Grissom.

"Maybe it would be good for you to see her hanging there in chains," said Roach.

"Adam, the woman loves chains and whips and…a few other things you've probably never seen."

Roach chuckled. "Do you play with her…like that?"

"I prefer other things," said Grissom.

"Other things?" asked Roach.

"Science…knowledge, companionship," explained Grissom.

"We'll play out here," said Roach. "Let you see her…maybe it will distract you so I can win."

"That would be cheating," said Grissom.

Roach glanced toward Sara.

"You wouldn't want to be staying here to be near Sara, would you?"

"Sara hates me now," said Grissom. "She's not as loyal as I thought. She can't replace Heather anyway."

"What is it about Heather that you like?" asked Roach.

"She accepts me…just as I am."

"Doesn't she remind you of your mother? She beat you every chance she got…with your father's strap."

Sara's head bobbed up slightly.

"My mother…wanted to extract punishment…Heather does it for pleasure."

"You could have turned out like me," said Roach. "Our mothers were bitches. They were cruel and mean and only punished us because we were men. They were pathetic."

"Your mother still alive?" asked Grissom.

"No, she's dead. Yours?"

"Yes."

"Pity. You should kill her. I took great pleasure in torturing mine before I smashed her brains out."

"You should learn to control your temper," said Grissom.

"I lost my role model…you refused to see me anymore."

"I'm here…now."

They stepped out of the room and took a seat in the open basement.

Grissom glanced over and saw Heather chained to the wall.

"He plays better than you," announced Heather as she held up the chains. "Going to play chess? Can I play?"

Roach rolled his eyes. "Don't make me gag you," he warned.

"Promises, promises," whined Heather.

Grissom made the first move.

The chess pieces slowly moved across the board.

Roach started to make a move but Heather shook her head.

"No?"

"Not unless you want him to win," sighed Heather.

"Where do you propose?" asked Roach.

"Come here and I'll tell you," replied Heather.

Roach walked over as Heather whispered in his ear.

He smiled.

He moved the chess piece and within three moves, Grissom won.

Roach cursed.

Heather laughed.

"You set me up!"

"You whipped me but then you stopped," she said. "Could you do it again?"

Roach grabbed the whip as Heather laughed.

He stopped. "You enjoy this, don't you?"

Heather smiled.

Roach released Heather.

"Is play time over?" she asked.

"You're no fun," said Roach. "I think I'll play with Sara some more."

Grissom cringed.

"No rematch?" asked Grissom.

"I'll play," offered Heather.

"Get away from him," sneered Roach.

Heather strolled toward the bedroom.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Roach.

"To bed…alone it seems," pouted Heather.

Roach smiled.

Heather stepped into the room and shut the door.

She walked over and knelt down beside Sara.

"How are you?" she asked.

"How was the beating?" asked Sara.

"I wore leather so I barely felt it," replied Heather.

"Pity," said Sara.

"You do love him, don't you?"

Sara did not reply.

Heather stared at her wrists.

"I need to change the bandages," said Heather.

"You're not touching me again," threatened Sara.

"I won't hurt you," said Heather.

"Don't touch me!" yelled Sara.

Roach laughed. "I think Lady Heather is trying to get another bed partner."

Grissom did not even glance toward the bedroom.

"That doesn't bother you?" asked Roach.

"I'm trying to concentrate on the game," scowled Grissom.

Note from author:

Don't you just love....Roach...yeah, I know... LOL

By the way there are only 24 chapters to this story....

Take care!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

Brass glanced at his watch.

"Have you heard from Sara?" asked Nick.

He shook his head.

"You think Grissom is capable of…" Nick did not finish.

"He's been acting strange," admitted Brass.

He glanced at his watch again. "I'm going to…bring him in."

"We're coming with you," said Nick and Warrick.

Catherine and Greg stood also.

"Look, this is going to be ugly."

"Sara is going to need us," said Greg.

Brass was quiet on the drive over.

He had hoped Sara would have called him.

He drove up to the townhouse noticing the officer had nodded off.

Brass knocked on the door but there was no answer.

He banged several times and then tried their cell.

"Oh shit," he sighed. "Hey you!"

The officer quickly got out of his car and hurried across the street.

Brass tried once more but when there was no answer, he reached in his pocket and took out a key.

He carefully unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"Oh God," Brass mumbled.

The others stepped in and stared at the floor.

Brass rushed to the bedroom but returned. "No bodies!"

Greg followed the blood splatter. "There's got to be…one maybe two pints here."

Nick stepped out of the bedroom. "More blood in there."

"I never should have left her!" yelled Brass.

Brass immediately placed an A.P.B. on Grissom. "I'm calling Ecklie. We'll need another unit to process this. All of you get out!"

"You think he killed Sara?" asked Greg nervously.

"What the hell do you think after that?" sneered Brass as he pointed to the board Grissom had used earlier.

"If he…did do this…he's sick…he loved Sara," choked Catherine.

"I don't care. If he killed Sara, I'm going to kill him myself," said Brass.

"His car is still parked out front," said Nick. "How did he move Sara's body on foot?"

"I don't know. I guess you didn't see anything?" yelled Brass to the officer.

"Grissom can hotwire a vehicle in seconds. Maybe, he took a neighbor's vehicle," said Greg.

"If he has a…second personality, then Grissom would go to the lab…or someplace where he feels safe," said Catherine.

"You think he would just walk into the lab for shift…after this?" asked Warrick.

"He's mentally imbalanced to do this," sniffled Catherine.

"He would go to Lady Heather's," said Brass. "He's been spending a lot of time with her."

"Maybe he took Sara to the hospital," said Greg.

"Greg, call all of the hospitals," ordered Brass. "The rest of you go back to the lab in case he shows up. Catherine, take this."

Brass handed Catherine a blood sample. "See if this matches…either of them."

Catherine took it. "You think the blood might be Grissom's too?"

"I don't know what to think," admitted Brass. "I hope it does belong to Grissom. I'm going to pay a visit to Lady Heather's."

Brass parked down the street as he walked up to the mansion. He tapped on the door but there was no answer. Grissom glanced over at the monitor and saw Brass.

"You're taking a long time," grumbled Roach.

"You don't like playing with me?" asked Grissom.

"I didn't say that," said Roach.

"I don't like to be rushed," frowned Grissom.

The monitor beeped as Brass banged on the door.

Roach stood immediately. He glared at Grissom. "You knew he was there!"

"No, I didn't," lied Grissom.

"Heather, get out here!" yelled Roach.

"Are we going to play some more?" asked Heather as she stepped out.

"Go upstairs and get rid of him! You don't return, I'll kill them," threatened Roach.

Heather hurried upstairs.

They watched as Heather opened the door and spoke with Brass ushering him inside the house.

"I didn't tell her to do that," said Roach.

"You didn't say she couldn't," quipped Grissom.

Minutes passed as they watched Heather seductively run her fingers down the chest of Brass.

"I think she likes him," said Roach.

The door opened later and Brass left.

Heather returned with a tray carrying food and drinks.

"So nice of you, Heather," said Roach as he took one of the drinks.

Heather set the tray on a nearby table.

She took a drink along with some food and disappeared into the other room, shutting the door.

"Can we get back to the chess game?" asked Grissom as he winced from the pounding in his head.

Roach sat back down and moved the chess piece.

Heather sat the food and drink down in front of Sara.

"You need this," whispered Heather. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you need to replenish your body from the blood loss."

Sara took the drink.

"Hurry, he might check on us," whispered Heather.

"Why…are you doing this?"

"You're safe…if you stay out of this," whispered Heather.

"Did you try to….warn Brass?" asked Sara.

"Yes, but I doubt he will understand. He thinks Grissom killed you," said Heather.

Sara leaned her head against the wall.

"Did he hurt you when he kicked you?" asked Heather.

Sara shook her head.

"May I see?" she asked.

Sara shook her head again.

Heather sighed. "It's broken, isn't it?"

She took the silence as an affirmative.

Roach's laughter floated through the walls.

"Game must be over," said Heather.

She grabbed the drink and the rest of the food, taking it over to the bed.

The door opened and Grissom stepped inside with Roach.

"I won," announced Roach.

Heather glanced at Grissom.

He sat down on the bed.

"What shall we do next?" asked Roach.

Roach glanced around the room.

"Sara, are you ready to play some more?" asked Roach.

"Grissom, don't you want to play?" asked Heather.

Heather did not let him reply as she got up and headed toward the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Roach.

"To check on my money!" said Heather. "They're in overtime with my rooms. I'm just going to check the monitors."

Roach watched as Heather walked out and headed to the monitors.

He stared at Grissom.

"Oh, it's too early not to do something," said Roach.

Heather returned to the room.

"Come and play, Grissom," said Heather as she pulled on his arm.

He stood but then staggered.

Heather grabbed him, easing him back to the bed.

"You know I wondered how you would react to that drug," said Roach.

"Grissom, are you alright?" asked Heather.

"Just dizzy," admitted Grissom.

"Lie back," said Heather.

"Go get a washcloth," instructed Roach.

Heather disappeared into the bathroom.

Roach stepped closer to Grissom.

Heather returned, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

She placed the washcloth on his head.

She glanced at Roach's worried face.

"What have you been giving him?" asked Heather.

"Just a little cocktail I formulated…nothing much," whined Roach.

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to kill him anyway," announced Roach.

Sara turned to listen.

"Between you and me, I don't buy it. You love him. You're willing to kill anyone else…except Grissom. If you were, you would have already done it," said Heather.

"What uhm do you think…we should do?" asked Roach.

"Let him sleep," said Heather. "We'll see if he's better in a few hours. In the meantime, we could play."

Roach frowned. "You're no fun. You like pain."

"Ever played stripped chess?" asked Heather.

He still frowned.

"Want to watch the others…in the dominion?" she asked.

Roach smiled. "I'll go…you watch him."

Roach shut the door and locked it.

Grissom tried to sit up but Heather stopped him.

"At least we know he's in no hurry to kill you," said Heather. "I hope Brass was watching when I flashed the lights on the front of the mansion."

"You think he was still there?" asked Grissom.

"I'm not sure," said Heather.

Grissom glanced over to the corner of the room.

"How is she?" whispered Grissom.

"Her ribs are broken," replied Heather.

Heather wiped her brow.

"How are you?" asked Grissom.

"I need to go upstairs," said Heather.

"You're insulin," he said suddenly.

"I'm fine for a few more hours," she said.

They were quiet for a moment.

"He's coming back," whispered Heather.

Heather moved to the end of the bed as Grissom closed his eyes.

"How's he doing?" asked Roach.

"He'll sleep for hours," said Heather. "Are you hungry? I could go upstairs and get some more food…maybe a bottle of wine?"

"Wine would be good," said Roach.

Grissom waited until they were gone before he hurried over to Sara.

He knelt down, picking up one of her wrists.

"Sara?" he whispered.

Her eyes flew open.

His hand reached out to touch her but she moved away.

"How's your ribs?" he asked. "Are you having any difficulty in breathing?"

She shook her head.

He sighed. "Just stay here…quiet and out of the way."

She nodded.

He glanced down at her wrist. "Oh Christ, Sara, it's bleeding."

He stared down at the dark pool underneath her legs. He quickly moved her.

"How uhm much?" he gulped.

"Not…sure."

He hurried across the room grabbing the emergency kit. He worked quickly to remove the bandage. "He broke the stitches…bastard."

He glanced nervously at the door. "I've got to fix this."

He took out the needle and hesitated as he prepared to suture the wound.

"Don't look, honey. Look away," he whispered.

He quickly threaded the needle through her skin, pulling the thin nylon string in and out trying to make haste but being as mindful to her pain as he could.

He refused to look at her as he focused on the task.

Once he was done, he bandaged it once more.

He then discarded the bandage in the bathroom and returned the kit.

He checked by the door and could hear them playing another game of chess.

Grissom rushed back.

He ran his hands up and down her arms.

She was cold and lethargic.

"I can't give you a blanket…he'll see…he'll see how much you mean to me…I'll get Heather…just hang in there Sara….please, honey."

He glanced toward the door before kissing her urgently on the lips.

His lips were warm and she moaned when they left hers.

She'd never felt this cold before.

He quickly returned to the bed.

The door opened and Heather yawned.

"I'm ready for bed," said Heather.

Roach glanced at Grissom.

"Is he okay?" he asked.

"He seems to be sleeping well," said Heather.

Roach stepped closer.

"Thinking of sleeping with us?" asked Heather.

"Not with you!" he huffed.

Heather shrugged her shoulders. "I guess you'll be sleeping in the other room."

Roach glanced at Sara. "I could get rid of her for you."

"Why would you do that for me?" asked Heather.

"I'm not. I'm doing it for him," replied Roach.

"If you don't mind putting up with his guilt…you know how he is. I try to ignore the flaw in his character," yawned Heather.

"She killed Conner," he seethed. "I sleep alone because of her."

"Sleep with Grissom," she purred.

Note from author:

Can you imagine the look on Grissom's face?

Take care!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Roach chuckled. "Wouldn't he be surprised?"

"I'll sleep with you," she offered.

"I have no desire for the likes of you," he said. "Besides, you'd kill me in my sleep."

"Suit yourself," she shrugged.

"Maybe I'll just chain Sara up and watch her limp body until I fall to sleep,' said Roach as he walked toward Sara.

"Not going to let me have a little fun with her while Grissom is asleep?" asked Heather in a pouty manner.

"What did you have in mind?" whispered Roach.

"She's sort of…pretty…and since Grissom is out for the night, I thought I would let her keep me warm," said Heather.

Roach laughed. "I like you…a little."

"I only hate you…a little….I'm losing money because of you."

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow."

Roach strolled out of the room and locked it.

Grissom rose quickly. "Sleep with me?" he snarled. "I should throttle you but you'd probably like it!"

He scooped Sara off the floor and placed her in the bed.

"Sara?"

"Cold," she whimpered.

He quickly gathered her into his arms and rubbed her body.

"You have to drink," he urged.

Heather produced a bottle of orange juice and handed it to Grissom.

She drank it.

"Getting warm?" he whispered.

She nodded.

He caressed her hair as he continued to rub her arms.

Heather sat down on the other side of the bed.

An hour passed as Heather rolled over to face Grissom.

Sara was curled in his arms.

She glanced at Sara between them.

"Nether thought I'd get you to do a threesome," Heather snorted.

"How are we going to get out of this mess?" whispered Grissom.

"You're the CSI, not me," replied Heather.

"You've already reminded me," he said.

Both were quiet for a moment.

"If he gets the least hint that you love her, he'll torture her again," she warned.

Grissom's arm hugged Sara closer to his body.

"I'll try to protect her," said Heather.

Grissom smiled.

Heather snorted. "Too bad Roach didn't take me up on sleeping with us."

"Heather, don't offer that again," warned Grissom.

Sara stirred.

"How are you going to explain Sara in bed with us?" asked Heather.

"You did tell him she was going to keep you warm," replied Grissom.

Heather reached out and took Sara's wrist.

"She's very strong," said Heather.

She examined each wrist. "Did you…"

"She bled out again. I had to re-suture it."

Grissom took Sara's hand and kissed the palm as he examined her wounds.

"You love her very much," whispered Heather.

"Yes, I do. I can't let Roach hurt her again."

Grissom and Heather stared at one another.

"I was so looking forward to watching you squirm when I suggest you sleep with Roach," sighed Heather.

Footsteps could be heard coming toward the door.

Grissom tensed.

Heather quickly slipped between them.

She rolled over to face Sara who lay there lifeless.

Heather molded her body to Sara's.

Grissom gawked.

There was no time to comment as the door opened and Roach stepped in.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" he yelled out loud as he chuckled.

Heather raised her head. "Is it time to get up already?"

"I'll wait until after breakfast to find out what you did with our little Sara," said Roach. "How is Grissom this morning?"

Grissom slipped out of the bed.

"Not bothered with Heather using Sara?"

"Heather is Heather. I know she won't hurt Sara. That's why I like her so much. She can play without inflicting injury."

The voices caused Sara to stir.

She opened her eyes and found herself entwined with Heather.

Sara scrambled from the bed.

Her foot got tangled with the covers and she fell to the floor with a hard thud.

It caused Roach to chuckle.

Roach stared at Sara. "Did I hurt you?"

"Yes, you did!" glared Sara.

"The little ragdoll has a voice again," sneered Roach. "We are going to have fun today. Aren't we, Sara?"

Grissom gripped the bed.

Sara stood there on shaky legs.

Roach eyed Grissom who had remained quiet.

"Do you want me to keep her for you?" asked Roach.

Grissom glanced at Sara and then at Heather.

"I want them…both," he replied.

"This has been fun but I'm sorry to say it must come to an end," announced Roach.

The room was quiet.

"Time to choose, Grissly. One has to go."

"I won't choose," replied Grissom.

"Then I will choose for you," said Roach.

"Adam please!" begged Grissom.

Roach stared at Grissom intently.

"We used to be so close. You never bothered sharing a room with me…before."

"I cared for you…as a brother," explained Grissom.

"I didn't want a brother! I wanted a lover!"

Grissom swallowed bile. "You knew I didn't care for you like that."

"Oh yes. Let's not forget Melanie Forbes," chided Roach.

"You seemed to like her also," said Grissom.

"I used her to teach you a lesson," sneered Roach. "You thought she returned your affections but I showed you how fickle women can be."

Grissom looked away.

Sara and Heather exchanged glances.

"Ms. Melanie accepted your dinner invitations but she let me bed her. I can still see your face when you opened the door and caught us in the act. Stupid girl. As soon as I knew you would never have anything to do with her, I kicked her out. I thought I had taught you a lesson about women but when she pleaded forgiveness, you…"

"She was just a friend…I never had feelings for her…she wanted to make me jealous by sleeping with you."

Roach snarled as he grabbed the chain on the wall.

"She wouldn't leave you alone," said Roach.

"I recall she left the University and went back home," replied Grissom.

Roach chuckled. "I threatened her."

"I've had enough of memory lane," said Grissom.

"Not feeling well?" asked Roach.

"No, I don't," said Grissom as he sat back down on the bed.

"Pity," sighed Roach. "I don't have any sympathy for you today. I was cold last night."

"That's your fault," said Heather.

Roach waved the gun. "Today, we are going to play my way."

He pointed the gun at Sara. "Come with me."

Sara refused to budge.

"Move or I'll kill you on the spot," warned Roach.

Grissom stood there helplessly as Sara walked toward the door.

Roach shut the door behind them.

The door locked and Grissom ran to the door.

"There wasn't anything we could do," whispered Heather.

"I should have stopped him!"

"That's exactly what he wanted you to do," explained Heather.

Roach shoved Sara toward the wall.

"You can have him," snarled Sara.

"Giving me Grissom?" huffed Roach.

"He gave me to Heather…why not?" said Sara.

"I should give you another beating. I slept alone because of you. Conner was a faithful servant," said Roach.

"So am I. I've done everything for Grissom," pouted Sara. "I was loyal…he wasn't."

Roach stared at Sara in disbelief. "You were very protective of him at his house."

"Yes, I was. I would have given my life for him…like Conner did for you," she explained.

"You killed Conner," he seethed stepping toward her.

"He would have killed Grissom," replied Sara. "I couldn't let him do that."

"Yes, he probably would have," sighed Roach.

Grissom stood at the door and tried to listen.

Minutes passed and there was no sound except footsteps.

The first crack of the whip sent chills down Grissom's back.

He glanced at Heather as his fist reared back to bang on the door but Heather stopped him.

"He's going to kill her," mourned Grissom.

"Wait," urged Heather.

There was another crack of the whip and this time it was followed by a scream.

Grissom gulped.

"Gil, he's testing you," said Heather calmly.

"She can't take another beating," he said.

"Yes, she can," whispered Heather.

Grissom's head rested on the door.

Heather's hand gently rubbed his back.

There was another crack followed by another scream.

"I can't stand here," said Grissom. "I can't!"

Grissom started to bang on the door but Heather blocked him.

"Get away from the door," warned Grissom.

"If you'll trust me, I'll get us out of this," said Heather.

"But Sara will be dead!"

"Gil…"

Another crack of the whip was heard and then a final scream.

It was followed by Roach's laugh.

Heather pushed Grissom away from the door, practically tackling him to the bed.

"Stop it!" seethed Grissom.

"Gil, he's stopped. It's quiet now. You've got to show no emotion. He's testing you," urged Heather.

Grissom closed his eyes.

"Your pulse is through the roof," whispered Heather. "You really don't feel well."

Grissom did not reply as he lay there.

Her hand glided through his hair.

"Just rest," she stressed.

"How can I when she may be…I want to kill him," seethed Grissom.

"Get in line," teased Heather.

Grissom listened intently.

"Close your eyes and focus on your breathing," soothed Heather.

The door swung open and Roach strolled in.

He stared at Grissom.

"Who's next?" asked Roach.

"Me," said Grissom as he sat up.

"I'm saving you for last," smiled Roach.

Roach grabbed Heather.

Grissom jumped off the bed.

"What's the matter Grissly? You look pale."

"I'm tired of your games," said Grissom.

"Are you wondering what has become of your ragdoll, Sara?"

Heather spoke up. "I don't think Grissom feels like playing today."

"Why not?" asked Roach.

"You shouldn't have hurt her," said Grissom.

"I didn't hurt her," announced Roach.

"What did you do?" asked Grissom.

"I killed her."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty:**

Grissom stumbled toward the door.

He saw a bloodied naked body hanging on the wall.

"Now, it's just the three of us," said Roach.

Grissom hurried toward the body as Roach threatened to shoot him if he didn't stop.

He didn't listen.

Grissom did not stop until he realized it was not Sara.

He breathed in deep, hating the smell of copper.

"It's not her," he managed to get out.

"No, it's not. I felt the urge to kill so I went upstairs and found her. I used her rather than Sara. Aren't you grateful? Sara is in the other room."

Grissom turned and headed toward it.

"Stop!" yelled Roach.

Grissom ignored him as he rushed into the room.

Sara sat in a corner.

She raised her tear streaked face.

Grissom grabbed her into his arms as he held her.

"Just as I suspected," said Roach. "You've been protecting Sara…from me. You lose, Grissom."

"Get that body down," instructed Roach to Grissom.

Sara watched as Grissom took the key from Roach and unchained the body.

"Now, time to chain Sara," said Roach.

Grissom shook his head.

"Do it or I'll plaster your brains on the walls," sneered Roach.

"Go ahead," said Grissom as he stood there.

Sara scrambled from the floor and hurried over.

She held her hands up and pleaded with Grissom.

"I can't…do…this," he said panting.

"Yes, you can," said Sara. "Just put the chains on…Grissom!"

Roach rolled his eyes.

"This is so pathetic! Heather, chain Sara to the wall," ordered Roach.

Grissom tried to intervene but the waving of the gun toward Sara caused him to step aside and allow Heather to do it.

"Now, chain Grissom," instructed Roach.

Soon, Grissom was standing there beside Sara.

"Time for you," said Roach. "Put the cuff on," he seethed at Heather.

Heather chained her one hand.

Roach quickly did the other and then stood there.

"Now, what shall we do?" asked Roach.

"Not really much fun if we're all chained," sighed Heather.

Roach leaned back in a chair as if he were deep in thought.

The others glanced down on the floor as they watched a cockroach scurry across the floor.

"I noticed Grissly, you keep roaches…do you race them?" he asked.

"I used to," replied Grissom.

"How entomologist of you," he said as he continued to lean there in the chair with his eyes closed.

The roach scurried past them. As it hurried past Grissom, he stomped on the bug squishing it.

Sara looked shocked.

Heather smirked.

Roach gawked.

"I hate roaches…now," announced Grissom.

"You think that was a good idea…to declare such a thing to that idiot," whispered Sara.

"That idiot is going to kill us any minute," sighed Grissom.

"Keep that up, and you can hasten his actions," answered Heather. "You should try to appeal to his soft side."

"Wouldn't hurt," added Sara.

"Sorry, but I'm not good at wooing persons of the same sex," commented Grissom.

"Opposite sex either," huffed Sara.

Grissom looked embarrassed.

Heather smirked.

"What's so funny?" asked Roach.

"Grissom," said Heather.

"Really? What is Grissly doing?" asked Roach.

"Being honest," replied Heather.

"About time," muttered Sara.

"You two are not helping," whispered Grissom.

The alarm bell went off once more causing Roach to rush to the monitor.

"Damn, it's that guy again," seethed Roach.

Sara and Grissom exchanged glances.

"Want me to handle it?" asked Heather.

Roach released her.

"Get up there and get rid of him," ordered Roach.

Heather hurried to the door.

She opened it and smiled at Brass.

Brass glanced at her attire.

"I thought I would check back…see if…"

Heather grabbed Brass in a lip lock.

She was surprised when he did not struggle to get away.

Her lips left his and traveled along his neck.

He whispered in her ear. "Are they in the basement?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Hidden doorway outside."

He grabbed her then pushing her against the wall as he returned the heat searing kiss.

Once he released her, she stood there panting.

"What's the matter? Are you a little frustrated?" he asked as he stepped out of the house.

Heather smoothed her gown before she hurried back downstairs.

"What was that all about?" asked Roach.

"Mr. Brass is still looking for Grissom. He thinks Grissom is hiding out here in the basement," she said. "I offered to let him search but he declined the offer."

"Stupid slut! I would have had to end this much too soon," yelled Roach.

"Why? He was alone. We have more chains on the wall," she huffed. "It could have been fun…with another man."

"I think you don't keep her satisfied," chuckled Roach to Grissom.

"There are no restrictions on our arrangement. Lady Heather can entertain whomever she desires..just as I can," said Grissom.

Sara leaned back, closing her eyes. Her wrists hurt. She felt her stomach turned over in disgust.

"Sara?" whispered Grissom.

"Shut up, Grissom," she murmured.

"You know Grissly, they probably had a shoot to kill order already out on you…probably think you killed little Miss Sara here," he sneered.

Grissom merely shrugged his shoulders. "The evidence will show I didn't do it."

"I had you believing you were a cold blooded killer," chuckled Roach.

"Perhaps…but not everyone," he said.

Roach glared at Sara. "I should have gotten rid of you immediately."

There was a noise from down the hall and Roach stood.

Heather sighed out. "Well, I never liked the little twit…could I get rid of her?"

"You wish!" he said as he picked up the whip. "I get the pleasure…since she killed Conner."

Roach picked up the whip and reared back.

"If you're killing her, how can you see Grissom's reaction?" asked Heather.

"Shut up bitch!" yelled Sara.

"Oh please!" begged Heather.

Roach chuckled. "You have a point."

He set the whip down and then unlocked the chains holding Heather prisoner. She glanced briefly at Grissom as she picked up the whip and let it crack mere inches from Sara.

"May I, master?" purred Heather.

"I really like you," smiled Roach.

He was not prepared to have the whip crack down on his face.

He cried out in pain.

Blood seeped from the gashes directly across his eyes.

Heather quickly grabbed the keys and attempted to free Grissom while Roach teetered around as he screamed.

He fumbled inside his jacket.

Steel metal flashed against the dim light.

As soon as the lock dropped to the floor, Grissom made a dash for Roach.

The two stumbled across the floor as Heather worked to set Sara free.

As soon as Sara was free, she scrambled for the gun but Roach shoved Grissom then seized her grabbing her wrist.

Sara cried out as the gun fell from her hand and into Roach's.

"This is getting old, Sara my dear," he said. Roach grabbed Sara around the neck and held the gun to her head.

"I think it's time to say goodbye," said Roach as he ordered Grissom and Heather back into the room.

"It's been nice strolling down memory lane," said Roach. "Unfortunately, I am sure the police will be here soon. Sara and I must go."

"Don't Adam! Please don't take her," pleaded Grissom.

"First, I need to do clean up this mess. I hate to leave a mess." He motioned for Grissom to the far side of the room.

He then flung Sara toward him.

Grissom grabbed Sara and held her firmly.

Roach then swiftly walked toward Heather. "Chain yourself to the wall!"

"Really…You think…"

Heather did not finish as Roach backhanded Heather.

"Get to the wall, now!"

Heather handcuffed herself to the wall.

Roach jabbed a needle into Heather's neck.

Grissom lurched toward Roach but he waived the gun.

"What did you do to her?" yelled Grissom.

"Just given her something….I hope help arrives before she goes into a diabetic coma," purred Roach.

"You bastard!" yelled Grissom.

"Now it's Sara's turn," said Roach. "Sara, come here."

Grissom stood in front of Sara.

"Time is wasting," he said. "Move away from her."

Before Grissom could react, Sara stepped to the side and came to Roach.

"Very obedient," he said. "You might just take the place of Conner after all."

Roach shoved Sara out the door and then slammed it.

Grissom headed toward the door but Heather gasped for air.

He quickly ran toward her, trying to assess her condition.

Roach merely laughed. "I thought he would have at least said goodbye to you Sara."

"Now, we need to finish the game," he said. Roach grabbed his medical bag. "I can't leave my bag of goodies."

Sara was shoved against the wall, knocking the air from her lungs.

She felt the prick of a needle in her neck.

"Now, sweetie, you're going to take the place of Conner. You should be honored," smiled Roach.

"Now, this is what we're going to do," he whispered.

Sara tore the bandages from her wrists as Roach opened the passage way.

He then grabbed Sara and dragged her into the dark passage.

Brass fumbled through the passage and was relieved when he saw light up ahead.

He quickly stepped into the basement.

"Where does she get this stuff?" he muttered.

He kept his gun drawn as he searched the area.

He heard Grissom's voice on the other side of the door and opened it.

Brass scanned the room.

"Jim? Jim, help me," cried Grissom. "Roach just took Sara…did you see them? He gave something to Heather. She's going into shock. You've got to call for back up…call an ambulance!"

"Move away from her," warned Brass.

Grissom stared at him wide eyed. "You're letting Roach get away! You've got to stop him! He's got Sara!"

Heather moaned once again.

Brass glanced around the room and noticed the blood on the floor.

His stomach churned.

He saw the keys to the chains lying on the bed.

"Call an ambulance. I'm going after them!" he yelled as he hurried toward the door.

Brass took the keys and attempted to unlock the chains while his gun remained on Grissom.

Grissom turned around.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" yelled Brass.

"He's taking Sara!" cried Grissom.

"There are squad cars around the house. He's not going anywhere," said Brass.

"You don't believe me!"

Grissom continued to walk toward the door.

"Gil, I promise you, I'll shoot if I have to," warned Brass.

Grissom stepped closer to the doorway and peered out.

He saw the bloodied bandages on the floor as well as the trail of blood.

"He took her to the passage…there are droplets of blood…she's bleeding again," mourned Grissom.

"I just came from the passage," said Brass. "I would have seen them."

"You can't see your ass if it was right in front of you!" yelled Grissom.

Brass called for an ambulance as well as back up.

"Take another step and…"

There was noise coming from the secret passage way.

Grissom glanced back at Brass as he ran.

Gun fire filled the air.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One:**

Brass quickly unchained Heather as he laid her on the bed.

He ran out and saw that Grissom had disappeared into the passage way toward the sound of the gun fire.

"Get a medic down here now! Go through the front door! There's a diabetic woman going into shock," he yelled. "I'm going into the passage way. Gil Grissom is in there also along with a man who has Sara Sidle hostage."

Brass ran into the passage.

Grissom hurried through the dimmed passageway.

He'd been in the tunnels before but it had been months ago.

Heather had taken him on a tour of the dominion.

She had mentioned a problem with fairly large flying roaches and he'd gotten a live specimen.

Now, he was chasing another roach.

The police fired once more into the passage.

"Stupid idiots," whispered Grissom.

He heard Roach ahead.

Roach yanked Sara to the floor. "I think our time is over. What a pity," sneered Roach. "I had such high hopes for you. Don't forget out little time together."

He yanked her up. "On the count of three," he said. "One, two…" Roach attempted to yank Sara out into the open but then Grissom tackled her.

They sprawled to the ground as gun fire exploded.

Grissom covered Sara's body with his until it was quiet.

Brass ran to the end of the tunnel.

He was relieved to see Grissom with Sara.

Roach dropped to his knees, blood oozing from his chest and mouth.

Grissom covered Sara's body with his own until Roach was disarmed by Brass.

Roach sputtered. "Don't forget…Sara."

"Go to hell," she yelled.

"Come with me…Conner," he croaked.

Roach fell forward.

His blood soaked hand reached out as if to grab Sara one last time.

Grissom kicked his lifeless body away from them.

Grissom quickly ran his hands up and down to ensure she had not been shot.

He was not prepared to be shoved away by her.

Brass wrapped his jacket around Sara as she slumped down into unconsciousness.

"Sara!" yelled Grissom.

His arms enfolded around her as he yelled for the medics.

Within minutes she was on a gurney.

An oxygen mask was thrown over her mouth.

The last several hours had been excruciating and she finally gave in to the pain and exhaustion.

"Ecklie is going nuts fielding questions from the media," said Catherine.

"I imagine Conrad will handle it," sighed Grissom.

"You look tired. Why don't you go home? One of us can stay with her," said Catherine.

"I need to stay," he said.

"She's probably going to sleep the rest of the night," said Catherine.

Grissom leaned against the wall, closing his eyes.

Brass joined them.

He glanced toward the room.

"Is she awake yet?" asked Brass.

"She was pretty dehydrated," said Grissom.

"With the amount of blood loss it's a miracle she didn't go into shock," said Catherine. "We expected the worse when we saw all of that blood in your house."

Grissom's eyes shot open.

"I'm sorry. I forgot. Your house is a crime scene," said Catherine. "As soon as the D.A. resolves this, we can have the townhouse cleaned."

Visions of Sara's blood being splattered on the wall made Grissom sick to his stomach.

"You don't look well," said Catherine. "Come home with me. Lindsey hasn't seen you in a long time."

"I need to be here when she wakes," said Grissom.

He stepped into the room and took a seat near the bed.

Grissom's hand gently examined her arms.

They were riddled with bruises and scratches.

Her wrists were securely bandaged and wondered how deep her scars from the horrific event would run.

There was a tap on the door and it was Catherine.

"I'm sorry…I need to talk with you," she whispered.

Grissom stepped out.

"Ecklie needs you at the lab…he wants your full account of what happened," she said.

He glanced back in the room.

He had wanted to be there when she woke.

There was so much he needed to explain.

Sara still thought he'd been involved with Lady Heather.

He knew she would not continue the relationship until that was resolved.

_A relationship…_

_I have a relationship…_

_with Sara…_

_My Sara…_

Catherine stood there watching his dilemma.

"You can leave a message with the nurse," whispered Catherine. "It's doubtful she'll even wake before you get back."

He didn't like it but scribbled a note and then left.

Grissom glanced at his watch as he answered the questions from the undersheriff.

"Got some place to go?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," replied Grissom.

"More important than your job?" he griped.

"Yes…it is. If you'll excuse me, I'm tired and would like to go back to the hospital," answered Grissom as he stood to leave.

"Grissom!" called out Ecklie.

"Conrad, according to the procedures manual, I'm entitled to some medical leave…I'm taking it," he said as he left.

Catherine grabbed his arm as he stepped into the hallway.

"Well, it couldn't have gone well if you're leaving so soon," said Catherine.

"I'm not playing twenty questions while Sara has not even regained consciousness," he said as he headed for the exit.

"What can we do?" she asked.

"Placate Ecklie and the undersheriff," he said as he suddenly stopped, taking a deep breath.

"Gil, you're going to make yourself sick," she warned.

"Cath, I just need some time…time to explain a few things…make sure she's going to be okay," he said.

"Let one of us drive you," she offered.

"I'm fine…just tired," he said with a slight smile. "If you need me, I'll be at the hospital."

He wiped his hands over his face as he drove to the hospital.

He knew he was pushing himself but he needed to explain his actions.

He wanted her to understand how much she meant to him.

He could not get the vision of the lifeless beaten body hanging on the wall from his mind.

For a brief moment, he had thought that Roach had killed Sara.

His pulse quickened just at the memory.

_She's fine now…_

_She's in a hospital getting medical care…_

He'd almost lost her.

He wasn't about to let that happen again.

He started toward the room but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that the room was empty.

The bed had already been stripped.

Grissom rushed to the nurse's station.

"Ms. Sidle…," he began.

"She checked herself out," explained the nurse.

Grissom cursed. "When?"

"An hour ago," said the nurse.

"By herself?" he asked.

"I handed her the note and she became agitated," said the nurse. "She began getting her things."

"Note?" he asked.

"The note you left," said the nurse and she handed it back to Grissom.

"She wouldn't take it," grumbled the nurse.

"How did you let her just walk out of here?" he yelled.

"There wasn't anything we could do," she replied.

Grissom pulled out his phone. "Jim…it's me. Sara is gone. She checked herself out of the hospital."

Brass cursed. "I'll check her apartment."

Grissom nervously drove back to the lab.

_What do you fear, Grissom?_

_Shut the hell up, Roach…._

Hours passed and there was no word from her.

Grissom checked his phone again as he tried to calm his nerves.

Doc appeared.

"How's the blood pressure?" he asked.

"I don't have time for this," grumbled Grissom.

"Sit down," Doc ordered.

"Doc…this is not like Sara. She wouldn't just leave…she was physically exhausted…much too weak to want to even leave the hospital."

"I heard this sociopath was capable of hypnosis," said Doc.

Grissom's gut churned.

"You think there's a possibility he's given her a hypnotic suggestion?"

"He was able to persuade you that you were a cold blooded murderer," reasoned Doc.

"I didn't think I was capable of it…but I couldn't explain how I knew about the murders," admitted Grissom.

"Puts a new light on our jobs…doesn't it?" griped Doc.

"Roach…was a genius….a sociopathic genius."

"I heard he had a crush on you," snickered Doc.

"Not now…not when…" Grissom didn't finish.

They watched as he began to pace like a caged animal.

"Hey Grissom!" yelled Warrick. "Ms. Foster just called and said she saw Sara leaving her apartment about an hour ago."

"Jim checked her apartment," grumbled Grissom.

"She's been through a lot…maybe she needed to get away," reasoned Catherine.

Ecklie walked down the hall.

"Why does Brass have an A.P.B. out on Sara Sidle?" grumbled Ecklie.

"Sara checked herself out of the hospital," explained Catherine.

"So? That's no reason to have the police searching for her," replied Ecklie. "What is going on with this unit?"

Grissom started to say something but Nick spoke up.

"We're concerned about her!" yelled Nick.

Ecklie frowned, "You refused to answer any more questions with the undersheriff and yet you're still here, Gil. I approved the medical leave….now leave!"

"Conrad, with all due respect…get out of our business!" yelled Grissom.

Ecklie looked shocked.

"He's not himself," whispered Catherine to Ecklie.

"He better be out of this lab within the next hour," warned Ecklie.

Jim Brass hurried down the hall. "Sara's car was seen nearby. It was abandoned."

"You think she was alone…or is there someone else?" asked Nick.

"Wait…you mean Roach had someone else besides Conner? Can you guys get your story straight before we make an ass out of ourselves again in front of the media?" Ecklie yelled.

"Conrad, that's rather difficult if you're talking with the media," griped Grissom.

"Alright, that's just about enough!" yelled Ecklie. "I don't care if you were held hostage or not. I will not have this insubordination."

Catherine's hand clamped down on Grissom's arm in a warning gesture.

He gently shrugged it off as he turned to unload on Ecklie but suddenly his eyes were distracted by a lone figure at the back entrance.

All eyes shot to the end of the hall when Sara walked inside.

Catherine grabbed Grissom's hand. "You should calm down…before you talk with her."

"Where the hell have you been?" called Nick.

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Nick…"

"Clear the building," whispered Grissom.

They glanced back down the hall and noticed the gun in Sara's hand.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two:**

"Why does she have her gun drawn?" asked Ecklie.

Catherine grabbed Ecklie as she tried to get the others to follow.

"Nicky…get the others out," whispered Grissom.

"But…"

"Nicky! She's in a hypnotic state. If she open fires, they'll call in a sharp shooter," warned Brass

Grissom swallowed.

Warrick grabbed Greg by the arm and forced him down the hall.

The others ran down to the other exit.

"Got any ideas?" whispered Brass.

"I think I did this," whispered Grissom. "I left her a note…told her we would talk about…Roach and Conner."

"Let me guess. Conner was the safety word," muttered Brass.

"In this case…I think it's the trigger word," replied Grissom.

A security guard arrived.

Brass held up his hand when they noticed his hand was on his revolver.

"Is the building clear?" asked Brass.

"Everyone is out," said the guard. "I could…shoot her…just wound her."

"No!" said Grissom.

"Like I said before, got any ideas how we're going to get the gun from her?" asked Brass.

"Jim, go around the other way," whispered Grissom.

"What do you want me to do, Dr. Grissom?" asked the guard.

"I want you to go outside and make sure no one comes back in," said Grissom.

They both waited until the security guard was gone before implementing their plan.

"Gil?"

Grissom glanced at Brass. "I'm not sure I could…shoot her…if she pulls the trigger."

"Good," breathed Grissom.

Sara stood there at the end of the hall as if she were waiting for something.

"Sara?" Grissom called.

Sara turned toward Grissom.

"I uhm not late," she said glancing at her watch. "Shift doesn't start for another hour."

"You checked yourself out of the hospital without permission," said Grissom.

"Hospital?" she asked.

"Sara...how are you?" he asked.

My wrists hurt," she said suddenly as if she had just noticed them for the first time. "How did they…"

She stared at Grissom.

"Sara…I need you to put the gun down, honey," urged Grissom.

"Gun?" she asked.

She lifted the gun and stared at it.

"Honey, put the gun down," he said again.

"What do you fear, Grissom?"

His chest thudded loudly.

"Sara…listen to the sound of my voice," he said.

Her eyes shot up. "Griss?"

"Put the gun down," he said.

Sara leaned against the wall.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Head hurts," she said.

Grissom started toward her.

"What do you fear?" she asked through tears.

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you," he said.

"The lab needs me," she cried.

"I need you," he replied as he stepped closer.

"You need me for the lab," she said as her left hand shielded her eyes.

"I need you because I love you," he said. "Let me help you, honey."

"Pain…won't go away," she said.

"I know how to make the pain stop," he said.

Her head jerked toward him.

"Safety word," she said.

He gulped.

Sara suddenly shifted. "I know the safety word."

"Sara, don't say his name!" he warned as he stepped back.

"No…more…pain…Conner!" she yelled.

She pointed the gun toward Grissom and fired off a shot.

Grissom groaned as his knees hit the hard floor.

The bullet whizzed past his head.

"Oh Christ," muttered Brass as he slowly made his way toward her.

"Sara, don't do it!" yelled Brass. "Don't listen to Roach! You don't want to…hurt Grissom."

The gun shook in her hand.

Sara stumbled back against the wall. "Grissom," she whispered.

She dropped her hand to her side.

Brass sighed.

Grissom watched in horror as she raised the gun to her head.

"No!" Grissom yelled. "The trigger word is Conner!"

Sara fired the gun.

The bullet whizzed down the hall and landed in the thick glass partition.

Grissom ducked into the break room.

"Grissom!" yelled Brass.

Sara's hand curled back. Grissom yelled once more. "Conner!"

Another shot sounded down the hall.

"Got a death wish!" yelled Brass.

"Don't say my name!" yelled Grissom to Brass. "There are two trigger words."

Grissom glanced over and saw a red dot floating along the ceiling.

"They have a sniper!" yelled Grissom.

"How the hell did they get here so quick?" muttered Brass.

"Tell them to get the hell out of here!" said Grissom.

Brass got on his phone.

"Sara…you've got to stay down," urged Grissom.

"Griss?"

Grissom stepped out into the open.

_Thank God, she didn't say my full name…_

Sara continued down the hall.

"I'm here…in the break room," he called.

Grissom glanced over and saw the television on.

_Oh shit!_

He tried to make his way to the remote but it was too late. Sara's head jerked when the news reporter began talking about the Fear Ripper cases. "Conner…."

Grissom dove to the floor as two shots rang out, hitting the refrigerator.

"Gil!" yelled Brass as he hurried down the hall.

Grissom glanced down and saw the fridge door had swung open.

His latest experiment now poured into the floor.

The sight of the blood sickened him.

He'd seen enough of it.

Grissom glanced up and saw a sniper down the hall.

He aimed his rifle toward Sara.

Grissom dove toward Sara sending both of them into the floor as the sniper took a shot.

The gun slid across the bloodied floor.

Brass rushed in.

Sara and Grissom lay in a pool of blood.

"Oh Christ," yelled Brass.

Grissom pulled Sara into a sitting position as he held her.

"I've got you," Grissom whispered softly in her ear as he held her.

The sniper rushed into the room, kicking the gun out of the way.

"Get out!" yelled Grissom.

"Is the situation neutral?" he asked.

"I told Ecklie no one comes in!" yelled Brass.

"We were told it was a hostile situation," he said. "Who was shot?"

"Get out!" yelled Grissom as Sara struggled to get up.

The sniper aimed his gun.

"Jim, get him out or I'll shoot him myself," Grissom yelled.

Grissom tried to calm Sara.

"So much blood…it's everywhere," she cried.

"Sara…look at me!" he yelled.

She continued to struggle in his arms sending them sprawling into the blood once more. She stared at her hands now covered in blood.

Suddenly her struggles stopped as she began to sob.

"I hurt you!" she cried. "Oh my God, I hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me," he said. "The blood was in the fridge."

She shook her head over and over.

"Sara!"

Sara scrambled to the corner of the room.

She stared at her wrists.

"Roach!" Grissom yelled.

Sara's eyes widened.

She glanced around.

"Why….am…I here?" she asked.

Grissom sighed.

"You think it's over?" asked Brass.

"One way to find out," said Grissom. "Sara? Conner."

"Conner?" she asked.

Grissom pulled Sara up.

"Grissom, you have blood….we have blood all over us," shrieked Sara.

"It's okay," he soothed.

He felt her knees buckling. "I've got you," he whispered.

"I don't understand," she moaned through the pain.

"I'll explain…everything," he promised.

Grissom glanced over at Brass.

"We need to get her out of here," said Grissom softly.

Grissom lifted Sara.

Her head lolled back against his shoulder.

"We need to get her back to the hospital," urged Grissom.

"Why?" she asked.

"Oh I don't know. Having your wrists slashed by a serial killer and then getting held at the Lady Heather's dominion… almost bleeding to death…being slipped a hypnotic suggestion…then almost getting shot by police…pick one," muttered Brass.

"Head hurts," she moaned.

"I'm not sure if she's thinking straight," whispered Grissom.

"How are you?" asked Brass.

"My blood pressure is back in triple digits," breathed Grissom. "I'd like to hit Ecklie."

"I could hold her," offered Brass.

Grissom tightened his grip. "Just get the door clear," he said.

Brass opened the door and there was a flash of cameras.

To the left, the team stood in anticipation.

Ecklie whispered to the reporters.

Brass leaned back in. "An ambulance is on standby," said Brass.

Grissom glanced down.

Sara was not conscious. "She passed out…maybe she was hurt," he cried.

They stepped out and there was a hush.

Grissom walked out with Sara in his arms.

Hands covered mouths at the sight of the blood on their clothing.

Paramedics rushed over immediately but Grissom refused to let go of her body, placing her on the gurney himself.

Grissom glared at Ecklie as he stood there drenched in blood.

There was a heave as Ecklie spewed vomit onto the sidewalk.

The reporters scurried out of the way.

Grissom stepped into the ambulance and then it sped away.

Hours later, they surrounded the hospital door.

"So…she's okay?" asked Greg.

"Yes…a few more bruises and scratches…but she's sleeping," said Brass.

"I can't believe Ecklie vomited on the news reporters," chuckled Warrick.

"He would have had a Texas ass kicking if anything had happened to Sara," grumbled Nick.

"Ecklie's pretty embarrassed. It was caught on tape," snickered Catherine.

"Can we see her?" asked Greg.

"Not unless you find a way to get through Grissom," warned Brass.

"I'm going for something to eat," grumbled Greg.

"I'll join you," said Warrick.

"Count me in," added Catherine.

"Who's buying?" asked Nick.

"Warrick still has ten thousand dollars," announced Greg.

"Did I tell you that the D.A. thinks the money came from a bank…it's stolen money," said Warrick.

"Easy come, easy go," smiled Catherine.

"So you're buying?" asked Nick to Catherine.

"You guys are such…"

The conversation floated down the hall.

Brass chuckled as he settled down into a chair in front of the door.

When she woke, she glanced around to find herself in a room.

Voices filtered through from the hallway.

She knew that it was Grissom.

Another voice appeared.

It was Heather.

The door was cracked causing the light to seep through and fall across her bed.

Sara watched as Catherine grabbed her phone and walked away.

Heather offered her hand to Grissom and he took it without hesitation.

He pulled the hand to his lips and kissed the palm.

Heather leaned in and kissed him fully on the lips.

She whispered something in his ear causing him to smile.

She then stepped back but he did not release her hand.

Her other hand caressed his cheek.

Heather slowly pulled away forcing Grissom to let go of her hand.

Sara closed her eyes tightly from the scene as she bit down the jealousy.

A nurse headed into the room.

Sara felt her wrist being lifted and she jerked away.

"Get away from me!" yelled Sara.

Grissom hurried into the room.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to take your pulse," explained the nurse.

Sara calmed. "My fault…I didn't know."

The nurse gently lifted her wrist. She then checked the IV bag. "I think we can remove this as soon as it's empty."

Sara nodded.

The nurse left just as Brass tapped on the door.

"Hey Kiddo," he said with a smile.

Brass stepped into the room and sat down on the bed.

He gently picked up her hand. "How do you feel?"

"Better," she said.

"You had us worried there for a moment," he said.

Grissom sat down in a chair while Brass chatted with Sara.

His head bobbed a time or two.

Brass glanced in his direction.

"I think he's waiting to talk with you," whispered Brass.

Brass kissed her on the forehead as he left.

Grissom glanced toward the door and just as he headed toward the bed, the door bobbed open again.

"Hey, the phone won't stop ringing," said Catherine. "The guys wanted me to check on you before I head back to the lab. Greg insists on a dinner date," she announced.

Sara smiled.

Catherine glanced at Grissom who stood there shuffling from one foot to the next. "I better go."

She shut the door leaving the two alone.

Grissom sat down on the bed.

"I've been waiting to talk with you," he said.

He eyed her wrists. His hand crept slowly toward one but she quickly shoved her hands under the covers.

"I think it would be good if you took some medical leave," he said. He expected a protest but she merely nodded.

It worried him.

"I think…you…should take two weeks," he said.

Again, she agreed.

He wiped the perspiration from his forehead.

"I've been…thinking…about taking some…leave also."

She did not reply.

"I…thought…we…should…take some…time…"

"I agree," she said. "I'm uhm pretty tired."

"Oh…of course," he said feeling bad for keeping her up.

She closed her eyes while he sat there quietly.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three:**

He became a man with a mission.

They became a team with a purpose.

He felt their purpose was to foil his mission.

With each attempt to talk with her, an interruption occurred.

She had slept the next day and he could not bring himself to wake her.

By the next day, he was freshly showered and felt half human as he waited to finally have a conversation with her.

It did not happen.

He was struck with a migraine and Catherine had practically dragged him out of the hospital.

By the time he had convinced her to let him return, Sara was gone.

She had been checked out.

He grumbled as he listened to the description of the young man.

He was already half way down the hall when he was calling Greg.

"Where is she?" he asked as soon as he heard Greg's voice.

"She said you gave her some time off. I took her to the airport," he explained.

"Where did she go?" he asked.

"I didn't ask…she didn't act like she wanted anyone to know," said Greg.

It was done.

She was gone and he would just have to wait for her to return.

Oh, he could call her but then he was too much of a coward to attempt it.

If she had wanted him to know where she was going, she would have told him.

_She still thinks you're involved with Heather…_

Catherine's head snapped up the moment she saw him heading into his office.

She opened the door, stepping inside.

Grissom stretched out on the couch.

"My offer still stands," she said. "Besides, why aren't you with Sara?"

"She's gone," said Grissom.

"I heard about that," said Catherine coming closer.

"Did Greg also tell you he didn't bother to find out where she was going?" he muttered.

"No…but we sort of ran a check on Sara's credit card activity and came up with…"

"You used department…where is she going?" he asked anxiously.

Catherine smiled as she handed him the information. "Take some advice and get some sleep before you go after her."

Grissom stretched back on the couch. "Thanks, Cat."

"Have a nice vacation…medical leave," she said.

Sara threw the suitcases onto the bed.

She stepped out onto the back porch and listened to the waves.

It was a sunny day despite the nip in the air.

Normally, she would not have come to this place for another month but then she had not given herself a break from Vegas since she arrived.

The moment she realized she needed some time to lick her wounds and recover from the emotional roller coaster of the last few weeks, she knew where she would go.

She had rented the villa before.

It was right after Grissom had turned her world upside down and then left San Francisco to return to Vegas.

She'd spent a week falling apart until she had decided she would follow him.

She just had to figure out a way to get him to need her. Holly Gribbs' death had been the opportunity.

Now, she stood there on the exact spot but things were different now.

She did not fall apart.

She did not even cry.

She opened the door and stepped out, sinking into a chair.

She leaned back, closing her eyes and felt the sun on her face.

It felt good.

Here, she was safe.

Here, she could let her mind sort through all of the events but most importantly, she could sort through her feelings.

There was much to consider.

_What do you fear, Sara?_

She gulped.

She wanted what she feared but she knew she could not have that.

Grissom had so casually and without thought taken Heather's hand.

He was not reluctant or fearful of who might see the interaction.

_He's not afraid to be seen with a dominatrix…_

_But he's afraid to be seen with me…_

It was much too early to begin the painful task of picking through the debris of her life.

She stepped back inside the house, leaving the door open.

There was no one around for miles.

She rarely locked her doors here.

She kicked off her shoes and lunged for the bed.

It was soft and firm, much like Grissom.

She quickly pushed him from her thoughts but it was getting more and more difficult to do that.

Her entire life was garbled with just these kinds of thoughts.

She felt as if she were slowly suffocating from the overload.

Sara grabbed the extra pillow and hugged it tight.

_Just sleep, Sara…_

_There's time for everything else…_

She drifted in and out.

The sun slowly disappeared and she rolled out of bed, changed into her gown and then slipped beneath the covers again.

The moment she heard the door opened, she reached for her gun but panicked when she realized it was back in Vegas.

Her chest thudded at the sound of footsteps in the next room.

She started to scramble from the bed when the door opened.

She grabbed for the lamp base but strong hands stopped her.

"Sara…it's me," said Grissom.

She turned on the light and stared at him.

"How did you…find me?" she asked.

"We're investigators…that's what we do," he said.

Neither said a word.

She finally eased from the bed and sat down in a chair.

He felt uncomfortable sitting on the bed she'd vacated.

She eyed him.

He'd slept little since she'd seen him at the hospital.

"You left before we could talk," he said, raking his hands through his hair.

He saw the bandaged wrists.

"How are your wrists?" he asked.

"They're healing…probably a few scars," she said.

"About that talk," he said.

"There's no need," she said.

"Yes…there is," he said. "Could we get some coffee?"

"You came all this way for coffee?" she asked.

"I came here…to be with you," he admitted.

She took a deep breath.

"Sleep first…then we'll talk," she said.

He glanced toward the bed.

"I'll be in here…when you're ready to talk," she said as she left the bedroom.

She knew he was following her.

He watched her put a kettle on the stove and then pulled down two mugs.

"Tea…not coffee," she said.

He sat down on the bar stool.

She glanced at him. "Have you slept any?"

He shook his head.

"You should sleep…I can't seem to get enough," she sighed.

"Would you like to lie back down?" he asked.

She knew where the conversation was leading.

"You could," she replied.

He knew she had no intentions of sleeping with him.

He glanced around the room.

"This is nice…have you been here before?" he asked.

"Yes…right after you left San Francisco," she answered.

"Sara…"

"We don't have to do this," she said now filling the cups.

"Don't we?" he asked. "You…protected…me…believed in me."

"I tried to kill you," she pointed out.

"I thought I was a serial killer," he said trying to make her feel better.

"You didn't try to kill me," muttered Sara.

"You were the only person who believed in me," he urged.

It didn't help matters.

"Sara…you're as good a shot as I am…you missed me several times. You were fighting the hypnosis."

She gawked. "How many times…"

She realized the guys had omitted a few details.

"We needed a new fridge...the other one smelled anyway," he tried to console.

He gently reached for her hand and was glad that she let him hold it.

"I want…to try to work this out," he said.

"I won't share!" she demanded.

He looked dumbfounded.

"I won't share…you with her," she added.

She was not prepared for the sudden grin to cross his face despite the fatigue.

She wanted to swipe it off his face.

"Okay," he replied.

It infuriated her.

The grin suddenly faded. "Sara, Heather is…just Heather."

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_

"I don't care what she means to you…I want no part of it," she said as her trembling hand tried to bring the mug to her lips.

She quickly used both hands but he'd already caught her vulnerability.

"Heather has always been a friend. We trust one another."

"I'm happy for you," she announced.

He didn't like the tone of her voice.

"You're jealous," he said.

It was a mistake, the moment the words left his lips.

"I don't care!" she declared. "That's not jealousy."

"Sara, Heather and I did what we did in order to protect you. I'd do it again if it meant Roach would…"

"Don't say his name around me! I never want to hear…"

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "Look, we're both still on edge…let's…just…get some sleep."

"You sleep," she said.

"I don't understand," he said. "I thought…I thought that once I explained that Heather and I were just friends…that we've never…you wouldn't be angry with me anymore."

"You don't get it!" she cried.

He looked confused. "No! I don't get it!"

"Look, just get some sleep," she said trying not to sound so angry.

"I can't sleep," he admitted.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I see you…not her…there…in those chains," he blurted out. "He killed her…to impress me…by not harming you but God help me, Sara. I'm glad he did!"

"That girl died…because of me. Roach killed her instead of me," she said.

She turned and saw that his face was wet.

She was grateful he had taken his wrath out on someone else but she still felt the guilt.

She also still felt Grissom's agonized cry when he opened the door and found her safe.

He had held her fiercely against his body.

She knew there would be nightmares.

She's was just too exhausted to let the nightmares bother her.

He was unsure of how to proceed.

Her hand slipped back into his as she pulled him into the bedroom.

She gently shoved him down on the bed.

He sat there, not moving.

She walked over to the other side of the bed and crawled in.

She turned down his side of the bed, offering to share the bed.

He made haste stripping himself of his clothing.

He quickly eased into the bed beside her.

He molded his body to hers.

She closed her eyes as she felt his breath upon her cheek as he kissed her.

"I love you, Sara," he whispered as he closed his eyes and slept.

She lay there feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

He'd fallen asleep immediately.

She turned in his arms so that they were facing one another.

Her hand gently caressed his cheek as she swiped away the moisture.

Her fingers traced the worry lines etched on his face as she leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips.

_What do you fear, Sara?_

_I fear I can't have what I want without destroying him…_

She woke to smell of coffee.

Her stomach growled.

She stretched, not wishing to face him at the moment but soon he was there in the doorway with two cups.

"Ready to wake up?" he asked.

She sat up in bed and he handed her the cup.

"No food," he said. "I think we'll need a trip into town and…"

"Who knows that you're here?" she asked.

He sipped on the coffee. "Catherine…I'm sure she's told the guys…so they won't worry about you…Brass gave me a lift to the airport."

She pulled her legs up against her chest as she stared at him. "Do you think…that was…wise?"

"Yes. Sara, they know…about us…they also know I wanted to be with you…you left before I could recommend…a trip…away from Vegas."

She took a deep breath. "I left because I needed to be alone…to think."

_Oh…that didn't sound good, Grissom…_

"I see. You want me to leave and then come back later?" he said trying to lighten the mood.

She did not reply and he quickly spoke up. "Sara…I know that what happened to you…was my fault. Roach targeted you because of me."

"I don't blame you," she said.

"Then…what? We have the serial murders behind us," he said.

"What do you fear, Grissom?"

He almost spewed the coffee. "That's not…funny, Sara."

"No, it's not….but now that Roach is dead, what do you fear?"

"What do you fear?" he shot back.

"I fear…personnel will find out…that you'll be reprimanded…lose everything…you've worked for…because of a few nights of sex."

Grissom gripped the coffee cup. "For years I did nothing…too afraid…to risk…everything…because if I did…you might reject me…realize I'm not what you thought or wanted."

Both were quiet.

"It wasn't just sex…for me," he said. "Sex I could have with…Heather…I wanted something more…with you."

Fear and jealousy crossed her face.

"Sex is not something I've ever wanted. Heather offered…but I could never….it wasn't you."

She swallowed hard. "What happens when the guilt wears off…when Ecklie has finally gotten that something on you…what happens when you lose your position at the crime lab and you realize…you never should have gotten involved with someone with so much emotional baggage."

"You're just afraid," he said. "You're afraid that once the excitement of doing what's forbidden fades, you'll find that I'm a dull, middle aged man who's not really lived at all."

Both were quiet.

"I guess…we either overcome our fears…or…we…let this go," she said.

"I'm…willing to try," he said.

She could not explain the inexplicable fear that overcame her.

He was finally acting on his feelings and she was quite sure she would never forgive herself if he were hurt in the end.

Her stomach growled.

"I think it's time for a grocery trip," he announced.

They chose a small coffee shop and ate breakfast.

The trip to a grocery store revealed they had little in common when it came to food.

He threw in a bag of chips but it soon disappeared from the buggy.

There was no way he was going to agree to anything that had vegetarian in the description.

By the time they approached the check- out counter, they had decided on salads and a list of restaurants in the area.

When they returned to the house, Sara curled back into the bed.

Grissom put away the few purchased items before joining her.

"You feeling okay?" he asked.

"Tired…just very tired," she murmured.

They both drifted off to sleep within minutes.

Grissom's arms held her body firm against his.

She woke later and attempted to ease from the bed but he refused to let go of her.

She closed her eyes, giving in to her imprisonment.

She felt him nuzzle her neck.

His lips left a trail of wet moisture as he slowly made his way to her lips.

He hovered there a moment, waiting for her to open up and invite him inside her mouth.

She did.

She could not resist him even if he had announced he had been secretly bedding Heather for the past year.

The sudden admission to herself, made her gasp.

His lips left hers. "Sara?"

She didn't share her torment as her lips sought his once more and soon he was dipping further and further.

She wanted him to do more than just kiss her.

His hands dipped between them and he knew what she wanted without the utterance of a word.

He made a few adjustments with their clothing before sinking deeply inside her.

He held himself still as he waited for her to react.

Her body bucked from the stillness.

He pulled himself from her but she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist and sunk back down on his shaft.

It made both gasp from the sheer pleasure of it.

He continued his slow erotic torture until finally, a soft agonized voice whispered, "please."

He drove deeper and deeper until he felt her muscles tighten around his shaft and then he filled her, fully, completely, until both lay there panting.

He kissed her on the lips once more as he pulled her close against his chest.

She rolled over, trying to ignore the throbbing wrists and the tears drying on her cheeks.

This definitely complicated things.

How could she ever pass him in the halls of the lab and not want to touch him.

His hands gently stroked her hair, gliding gently past her cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"What…do you fear, Sara?"

"That I can't…do…this," she cried.

He closed his eyes as he felt his chest tighten.

NOte from author:

Last chapter in a few hours.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four:**

Sara stepped into the lab, quietly making her way to the locker room.

She could hear the guys as they changed for shift.

She leaned against the locker and whistled.

Nick glanced around.

"That's sexual harassment," he announced with a grin as he came over shirtless and hugged her.

She wrapped her arms around him, letting one slip to yank on his boxers. "This is sexual harassment," she purred.

"You need to go away for medical leave more often," chuckled Warrick. "I've never seen Nicky here so embarrassed."

"You can harass me," announced Greg.

"That would not be sexual harassment but fulfillment of a fantasy," she teased.

Warrick and Nick chuckled.

"You owe me a dinner," Greg said.

"Seriously, Catherine told me you were not scheduled to come back for another week," said Warrick.

"I got bored," she admitted.

"You look tanned," smiled Nick.

"I've been in the sun…not dark," replied Sara.

"Hey, you heard from Grissom?" asked Warrick.

"No…I haven't. He came to the beach house but left," she said. "He just wanted to make sure I was fine. I am."

It felt good to tell the truth.

Warrick and Nick exchanged glances. "You mean Grissom hasn't been with you?"

"No."

"No one has heard from him…in weeks," said Warrick.

_Don't panic, Sara…_

_We just went our separate ways…._

_to think, right?…_

She told herself not to call him as days passed since her return and yet no one from the unit had heard from him.

Days turned into a week.

The date for his scheduled return came and went.

She paced her apartment each day, hoping he would call but he didn't.

Brass was just as baffled.

He'd interrogated her thoroughly but she had no additional information.

She had no idea where Grissom went to think.

They had each told one another it would be a time to think, to understand the consequences of their actions but more importantly, know that each had much to risk.

She had spent every waking moment desperately missing his body next to hers.

She told herself she had not become that obsessed with him but nothing seemed to fill the void.

As she sat in the daylight, sunning herself, the tears flowed freely.

There was no one around to hear the sobs or the hiccups or the curses from her heart.

She berated herself for not asking.

She was almost willing to track his credit card transactions to see if he could be located.

About was fair play, wasn't it?

One evening he suddenly appeared.

He picked up his messages and then ran through the caseloads.

He did everything like he had done for countless years except enjoy it.

There were the usual hellos and pats of the back.

He had been missed.

Well, that counted for something, he hoped.

The team stepped into the lab together.

They had met early that evening for dinner at the diner.

One look down the hall and he was spotted immediately.

"Hey Grissom!" came the yells.

He turned and smiled.

He chatted with each of them, nodding as his eyes scanned the perimeter for her.

She was there, looking a bit tired already but she seemed happy, he thought.

He'd hoped she would have missed him.

"Did I miss a meeting?" he asked.

"Oh….we went to the diner for dinner," explained Catherine.

"So, where have you been?" asked Warrick. "You look…tanned."

All eyes shot back to Sara.

"I rented a nice villa on a private beach," he explained as he sifted through the messages.

"Sara went to a beach also," said Greg, glancing at Sara.

"Good. Did you have a restful time?" he asked her.

His eyes settled directly on her.

"Good," she replied.

Grissom's eyes returned to the messages. "Tell me the Rollins is closed?" he asked Catherine.

"No such luck. We need to talk about that one," she said as she pulled him down the hall.

Sara licked her lips nervously as she avoided the others.

She threw her stuff into her locker and stepped into the hallway.

She'd made it halfway down the hall when she saw him standing outside of the conference room, listening to Hodges grumble about the inefficiency of the lab since he'd been gone.

She walked past him but suddenly she felt his hand in hers.

Her eyes glanced around as he held her hand firmly in his while he instructed Hodges to stop sucking up so soon since his return.

He pulled her body close to his and kissed her before she could protest.

Nick stopped dead in his tracks while Greg almost lost the box of evidence he was carrying.

She tried to struggle but he held her firm against his body.

She finally relaxed as he forced her to respond.

Slowly he eased his assault, letting his lips slip from hers as he whispered in her ear.

"Watching you…from the beach house…next door…was…sheer…madness," he said. "It was just like what I used to do…here….for all those years…always watching…never touching."

"Griss…you shouldn't have…they're...watching us."

"Did you miss me, Sara?" He whispered.

"Yes, I did," she admitted.

"I submitted my notice…two weeks ago," he said. "I came back to tie up a few loose ends."

"Wait...you submitted your notice..."

"I'd already decided when I came to the villa," he said.

"But, you never said..."

"I wanted you to be sure...my own fear...sorry," he whispered.

"You're really going to just leave?" she asked.

"We can leave…together…this time. Maybe…just jump on some research boat and wind up in the jungle."

"I think you spent too much time in the sun," she gasped.

"What do you fear, Sara?" he asked. "I don't fear anything…as long as I'm with you."

She stood there not caring that eyes stared at them.

He leaned in and kissed her.

His hand pulled hers to his lips and kissed it. "What do you fear?" he whispered.

"I fear you're going to regret this…later when you've had time to think," she sniffled.

"There's nothing to think about. This job is nothing…you…are everything. Come with me, Sara. Come and be my assistant."

He stopped as she shook her head.

"I can't," she said.

He'd tried.

He'd put everything on the line.

He couldn't fault her.

He waited for such a long time to come to this point.

She kissed him quickly. "We're partners….colleagues…mates," she corrected.

He smiled. "You lead, I'll follow."

She gulped.

He was giving up everything to be with her.

Sara Sidle was worth the risk.

He pulled her down the hall.

She ignored the stares.

"Griss…I need to finish the shift."

"Why?"

"Because I need to give a two week notice," she replied.

"I submitted it this evening," he said.

"You what?"

"I submitted it…hoped you would have agreed…but then if you didn't…you could have straightened out the mess after I left."

"Anything else you need to tell me?" she asked.

"Brass and Heather….want to rent to the beach house," he whispered.

"About Heather," she said.

"That again?" he asked. "Sara…"

"She explained…that it was her idea…you just wanted to protect me," said Sara.

"Do you still…fear my relationship with her?" he asked.

"I just wanted…what you had…with her," explained Sara.

He stopped abruptly. "Sara, we were just friends…who trusted one another….nothing physical."

"You took her hand…with ease…without fear…you kissed her…without wondering who was watching…there was no fear in your eyes when she appeared…I wanted that."

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'll try to make it up to you."

"She told me a few other things," she said with a slight Sidle grin.

He frowned. "I think I confide in her too much."

"I don't mind," grinned Sara.

"Not going to tell me what she said....are you?"

"I'll show you," she whispered.

He swallowed.

"Jungle, huh?"

"It's better than teaching in some University. Don't get me wrong…a jungle is no place to have a family."

"Family?" she asked nervously.

"Why, Sara, what do you fear?" he grinned.

"Nothing…Penny, never let's anything really bad…happen…right, Penny?"

Author smiles as she finishes the sentence, the next story already fresh in her mind as she writes the final words.

The End…for now.

Note from author:

I want to thank every reader. Some of us are old friends. We been together for some time now and I wanted you to know that I have enjoyed this time with you. We share a common thread and it is this crazy obsession with GSR. I hope that we get to see our favorite couple next year but in the mean time I know they are safe here in fanfiction. Be safe, have fun this summer, stay in touch through emails, facebook, etc and I will see you soon. Oh don't forget Billy's play starts soon. I can't wait to see it!

Take care,

Penny


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